SeV
I am the Exact same way !!!! Fet life is great but the best way is get you a guy friend, preferably older than you that will send you a free story once a week or much more - in your email- of all the detailed dirty things he wants to do to you or with you ...can be a far away friend too!!!
Best part is, it's free and customized to you !
Trust me, I bet you can find a guy friend to do this with you
If not there are a few other sites on the web, just cant think of names right now... ( sorry ! )
Good luck! Zena.