Welcome to ECCIE, become a part of the fastest growing adult community. Take a minute & sign up!

Welcome to ECCIE - Sign up today!

Become a part of one of the fastest growing adult communities online. We have something for you, whether you’re a male member seeking out new friends or a new lady on the scene looking to take advantage of our many opportunities to network, make new friends, or connect with people. Join today & take part in lively discussions, take advantage of all the great features that attract hundreds of new daily members!

Go Premium

Go Back   ECCIE Worldwide > General Interest > Comedy Central
Comedy Central All your funny stuff goes here.

Most Favorited Images
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
Most Liked Images
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
Top Reviewers
cockalatte 645
MoneyManMatt 490
Still Looking 399
samcruz 398
Jon Bon 385
Harley Diablo 373
honest_abe 362
DFW_Ladies_Man 313
Chung Tran 288
lupegarland 287
nicemusic 285
You&Me 281
Starscream66 262
sharkman29 250
George Spelvin 244
Top Posters
DallasRain70398
biomed160407
Yssup Rider59880
gman4452899
LexusLover51038
WTF48267
offshoredrilling47485
pyramider46370
bambino40299
CryptKicker37074
Mokoa36485
Chung Tran36100
Still Looking35944
The_Waco_Kid35262
Mojojo33117

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-14-2011, 07:12 AM   #1
tennisbum
Valued Poster
 
Join Date: Sep 15, 2010
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 647
Encounters: 54
My ECCIE Reviews
Default The Porch

A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband,



"Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded.

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes."

A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.

"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."



















tennisbum is offline   Quote
Old 10-16-2011, 08:46 AM   #2
badhusband
Premium Access
 
badhusband's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 28, 2010
Location: Between Chicago and Atlanta
Posts: 1,204
Encounters: 37
Default

Be careful when you run into a blonde! LOL
badhusband is offline   Quote
Old 10-16-2011, 12:51 PM   #3
sensualsanaa
Pending Age Verification
 
User ID: 1199
Join Date: May 24, 2009
Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 1,908
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

LMBO!!
sensualsanaa is offline   Quote
Old 10-16-2011, 01:54 PM   #4
Prowordsmith
Premium Access
 
Prowordsmith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 4, 2010
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 502
Encounters: 20
Default

By the way - it's not a "Porch". It's a "Por-sha"!
Porsche is a two-syllable word/name.
Prowordsmith is offline   Quote
Old 10-16-2011, 10:01 PM   #5
cptjohnstone
Valued Poster
 
cptjohnstone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 4, 2010
Location: Stillwater, OK
Posts: 3,631
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prowordsmith View Post
By the way - it's not a "Porch". It's a "Por-sha"!
Porsche is a two-syllable word/name.
my uncle drove a Porch and I ask why they say Por-sha and he said when met Mr Porch, he pronounced his name as Porsha

and then again many years ago, I worked for Hormel but they answer the phone in Austin MN as Hor-mel
cptjohnstone is offline   Quote
Old 10-18-2011, 06:47 PM   #6
badhusband
Premium Access
 
badhusband's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 28, 2010
Location: Between Chicago and Atlanta
Posts: 1,204
Encounters: 37
Default

Um, it's part of the joke dude. Try just rolling with it.

bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prowordsmith View Post
By the way - it's not a "Porch". It's a "Por-sha"!
Porsche is a two-syllable word/name.
badhusband is offline   Quote
Old 10-18-2011, 09:37 PM   #7
Prowordsmith
Premium Access
 
Prowordsmith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 4, 2010
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 502
Encounters: 20
Default

Okay bad, but I'm tired of people mispronouncing the Porsche name. As an owner I resent it. I get the joke but it only perpetuates the mispronunciation.
Prowordsmith is offline   Quote
Old 10-19-2011, 07:22 AM   #8
RichardGozenya
Gaining Momentum
 
Join Date: Mar 29, 2010
Location: houston
Posts: 71
Encounters: 1
Default

"I'm tired of people mispronouncing the Porsche name."

ME TOO!

That's why I call them a "Nazi POS" ;>))))))))))))

No confusion....except when I am speaking
to a VW,Audi or Mercedes aficionado
RichardGozenya is offline   Quote
Old 10-19-2011, 07:09 PM   #9
badhusband
Premium Access
 
badhusband's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 28, 2010
Location: Between Chicago and Atlanta
Posts: 1,204
Encounters: 37
Default

There's a book out there called "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff". Life's too short dudes....
badhusband is offline   Quote
Old 10-19-2011, 07:23 PM   #10
Sweet N Little
Upgraded Female Account
 
Sweet N Little's Avatar
 
User ID: 24680
Join Date: Apr 29, 2010
Location: North Little Rock,Ar
My Bio Page
Posts: 12,598
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by badhusband View Post
There's a book out there called "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff". Life's too short dudes....
+1
Sweet N Little is offline   Quote
Old 10-19-2011, 09:16 PM   #11
Bull149
Account Disabled
 
Join Date: Dec 17, 2009
Location: Cosatl Bend South TX
Posts: 1,519
Encounters: 11
Default

SNL, you have a real knack for bringing issues into clear focus. Love It.
Bull149 is offline   Quote
Old 10-19-2011, 10:58 PM   #12
Sweet N Little
Upgraded Female Account
 
Sweet N Little's Avatar
 
User ID: 24680
Join Date: Apr 29, 2010
Location: North Little Rock,Ar
My Bio Page
Posts: 12,598
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bull149 View Post
SNL, you have a real knack for bringing issues into clear focus. Love It.
thanks Bull!!

How to avoid a ticket ...
There was a middle aged guy who bought a brand new Porsche convertible. He took off down the road at 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. “This is great,” he thought. “Just what I need.”
He looked in his rearview mirror and there was a Pennsylvania state trooper behind him, red and blue lights flashing and siren blasting. “I can get away from him with no problem,” thought the man. He floored it and flew down the road at over 100mph. Then he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this kind of thing.” He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.
The trooper pulled in behind the Porsche and walked up to the man. “Sir,” he said, looking at his watch, “my shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I'll let you go.”
The man looked back at the Trooper and said, “Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back.”
The trooper said, “Have a nice day!”
Sweet N Little is offline   Quote
Old 10-20-2011, 01:12 AM   #13
Ginger Doll
BANNED
 
User ID: 17895
Join Date: Mar 10, 2010
Posts: 13,758
My ECCIE Reviews
Smile

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Porsche back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my penis and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story:

If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!

Ok, that was kind of dumb. But it did go with the Porsche/penis theme. Make my dumb joke look better...post a pic for me, SNL!
Ginger Doll is offline   Quote
Old 10-20-2011, 06:39 AM   #14
tennisbum
Valued Poster
 
Join Date: Sep 15, 2010
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 647
Encounters: 54
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

Ginger, that's funny !!!
tennisbum is offline   Quote
Old 10-20-2011, 09:46 AM   #15
Sweet N Little
Upgraded Female Account
 
Sweet N Little's Avatar
 
User ID: 24680
Join Date: Apr 29, 2010
Location: North Little Rock,Ar
My Bio Page
Posts: 12,598
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tennisbum View Post
Ginger, that's funny !!!
I thought it was funny too!
And the horse & the Chickie lived happily ever after













What's the difference between porcupines and Porsche's? Porcupines have the pricks on the outside.
Sweet N Little is offline   Quote
Reply



AMPReviews.net
Find Ladies
Hot Women

Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright © 2009 - 2016, ECCIE Worldwide, All Rights Reserved