Left Column

[CuteOldGuy]

Mr. President and the NSA,

Going through our private phone records is a lot of work, and very expensive. And since we aren’t huge fans of paying you to invade our privacy, we thought we’d save you the time and save ourselves the money by answering your questions openly, publicly, and transparently:

Q: Are Libertarians associated with any organization with any anti-government goals of any kind?
A: Yes. Our goal is to dismantle most or all of government. Many of our members are associated with many other anti-government, pro-freedom groups as well.

Q: Do Libertarians intend to use violence?
A: No, we leave that to the experts: the Federal government. Our goal is to stop you from engaging in nonstop and unnecessary violence around the world. No terrorist we know of has caused as many needless civilian deaths and as much destruction to property as the U.S. Federal government. We want to shut down military bases and bring our troops home. At home, we want to end the ludicrous swat team raids on peaceful civilians, and have the government stop using violence against peaceful citizens.

Q: Do you intend to distribute government secrets to enemies of freedom?
A: Right now, the Federal government IS the biggest enemy of American freedom. Distributing Federal government secrets to the Federal government would be as pointess as, well, most government programs.

Q: What other subversive goals do you have?
A: We plan to take back our fundamental rights to live our lives without unjustified interference. We will regain control over our education, our recreation, and the fruits of our labors. You can read a full list of our subversive goals here: www.lp.org/platform.