How far beyond actual time together should a session go?

[Lovelyelle_01]

I recently had a client who claims to have "left the hobby" (others dispute this claim, but that's totally irrelevant to me because it has no effect on what WE do) book me for an overnight. I have seen him a couple of times already. He has also booked other sessions that he ended up cancelling for some reason or another. After setting the time/date/place for the session, he sent me a confirmation email containing all the information listed. I kindly thanked him for confirming (he knew I was a bit skeptical because of our recent history) and told him that I would be in touch leading up to the appt. He proceeded to flood my phone with messages about how excited he is and that he can't wait to see me. At the time I was busy online working on other things, so my responses were a bit delayed (maybe about 2 minutes between his message and my response) because I wasn't sitting there staring at the phone waiting for the next message to appear. He stated that something didn't feel right with the conversation, and I immediately told him that I apologize for being distracted but he started messaging me in the middle of a very important task that I needed to complete. Out of nowhere, he gets PISSED! He goes on a rant saying that he feels like he may need to reevaluate the appt. because he's paying a large amount of $$$ and the whole idea is to feel spoiled by me. He goes on to say that he doesn't feel like I appreciate the fact that although he's "left the hobby", he still has a desire to see only me. He ended the conversation by saying that I needed to think about what he said and what he is continuing to offer me... Now, although I am FULLY aware of what my position calls for, I was completely FLOORED by his reaction. I understand VERY WELL what it takes to hold the attention of a client, which is why he chose to continue seeing me after "leaving the hobby". But, even with all of my "in between job duties", there has to be a line drawn SOMEWHERE. And, it's not like I was purely ignoring him. I was actually BUSY and told him so! To me, this said that he has no respect for me as a woman with a life OUTSIDE of pay for play and expected me to drop everything because he's waving $ in my face. So, I emailed him and politely cancelled our appt. with a detailed explanation as to why I felt the need to do so. Now, he is hammering my inbox with apologies about how even though he feels like he wasn't ALL wrong, it had already been a horrible day for him and how I should allow him a chance to make it up. My question is, how far beyond actual time SPENT together should a session go? Are I really expected to drop everything to coddle a client whenever an opportunity to make money arises? And most of all, was I wrong in how I dealt with the situation? I really don't think I was, but it would really help to hear the perspective of clients and providers as well.

[charlestudor2005]

Sounds like an obsessed stalker to me. My advice: cut all ties and do not respond to him again. He's very controlling and you don't need that. Hobbyists have a saying: I pay them to stay away. I'm sure the ladies have a similar sentiment.

[simpleton]

I would kick him to the curb. Who needs the extra bullshit? Your hot enough.

[pyramider]

His time does not start until he is in your door. His time is over when you say its over. Phone sex, sexting, whatever is beyond the scope of your appointment . . . unless you agree to phone sex, sexting, or whatever.

But I may be wrong.

[MsElena]

Ditto the three guys before me.

I will take a few calls or emails in between our sessions, but do not try to monopolize my time. If a guy needs that much hand holding, he needs a shrink, not a hooker.

[shorty]

Sounds like he's thinking your his SB, if he truly has left the hobby. There is a difference between hobby time and OTC time. There are several ladies that don't mind hanging out after the session, if they don't have anything else going on. Most times this happens in the evening, when she decides to call it quits for the night and looking to unwind with someone they trust and they also know its nothing more than that.

[Sweet N Little]

You did the right thing Elle, you were courteous and went above and beyond.

There is no bigger turn off than a guy (bluntly and aggressively) waving money around saying pay attention to me!!!! I would have cancelled as well.

There is nothing wrong with with being excited,flirting etc leading up to a date but outright demanding it and reminding you about $ is in very poor taste. IMO

[Ed Highlight]

Elle baby, you sure can pick'em!! Sounds like another love-struck, obsessive and overly possessive man that lacks the proper perspecive to carry on a mutually beneficial pay-for-play arrangement......but what do I know.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Sounds like an obsessed stalker to me. My advice: cut all ties and do not respond to him again. He's very controlling and you don't need that. Hobbyists have a saying: I pay them to stay away. I'm sure the ladies have a similar sentiment.

I TOTALLY agree. So I guess you can't do anything else before you meet him, right? Please don't be in school and have homework. Laundry will HAVE to wait. Dinner? You can eat with him. Sleep? No time. Put your momma on Ignore, because he's texting you.

Wow.

Usually this isn't a problem for me, and conversations outside of appointments and checking up on me are welcomed. My good friends do it regardless of an impending appointment or not. Once an appointment is confirmed, let's say from a new friend, I let him know that my schedule is a bit hectic from day to day and that we will have to schedule a time to talk when we both can talk freely. Emails get answered in the standard amount of time (which is at the longest about 4 hours same day and in the am for late emails.) since I'm in front of a PC or I have my phone with me at all times. I do NOT tolerate someone who wants to monopolize my time. It's one of the reasons I took my phone number down. Some guys make assumptions if you're not available for them.

[the.namssa]

A guy only "quits the hobby" when he quits. His is still doing play for pay, so he has NOT left at all.

For a great majority of the girls I have seen over the past 3 years, I need to book 4-6 weeks in advance of their arrival. I use whichever method the SP likes, book the appointment and they really don't hear a thing from me until just a day or so before the appointment to confirm that we are still "on". Then it is either the day of to confirm again or just a couple minutes before the appointment to advise I am there, depending upon how that SP likes things done.

Sounds like this guy is bad news and has issues.

[Laz]

Outside of the session it is good business to have communication with the client. But there is a limit to anything. The client should be aware that you have other obligations as well as a personal life and respect your time. If he gets upset that easily over something so trivial you need to question whether he is worth the headaches.

[Shayla]

I would have LOL'd at his reaction and played along...
And maybe offered him a midol.

[Clouddancer]

All too often this type of thing escalates to a post war and the seemingly endless train wreck. It makes for entertaining reading but it is sad in reality.

Elle, sounds to me like you did exactly what you should have done and you did it with class. Let it go and don't second guess yourself on this one.

Stay safe!

[Clouddancer]

Originally Posted by Shayla

I would have LOL'd at his reaction and played along...
And maybe offered him a midol.

[Lovelyelle_01]

Originally Posted by shorty

Sounds like he's thinking your his SB, if he truly has left the hobby. There is a difference between hobby time and OTC time. There are several ladies that don't mind hanging out after the session, if they don't have anything else going on. Most times this happens in the evening, when she decides to call it quits for the night and looking to unwind with someone they trust and they also know its nothing more than that.

This is true, for I have done so myself. I've even kept contact with him when we DON'T have anything scheduled. But, when I'm busy, I expect to be given some space just as I would give someone else. This is what he totally missed.

Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

You did the right thing Elle, you were courteous and went above and beyond.
There is no bigger turn off than a guy (bluntly and aggressively) waving money around saying pay attention to me!!!! I would have cancelled as well.
There is nothing wrong with with being excited,flirting etc leading up to a date but outright demanding it and reminding you about $ is in very poor taste. IMO

Thank you very much, SNL. It's nice to know such a reputable lady agrees with the way I handled myself.

Originally Posted by Ed Highlight

Elle baby, you sure can pick'em!! Sounds like another love-struck, obsessive and overly possessive man that lacks the proper perspecive to carry on a mutually beneficial pay-for-play arrangement......but what do I know.

Aaauuuggghhh!!!! I KNEW you'd say that!!! Maybe I should remove compatibility from my screening process???

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

I TOTALLY agree. So I guess you can't do anything else before you meet him, right? Please don't be in school and have homework. Laundry will HAVE to wait. Dinner? You can eat with him. Sleep? No time. Put your momma on Ignore, because he's texting you.

Wow.

Usually this isn't a problem for me, and conversations outside of appointments and checking up on me are welcomed. My good friends do it regardless of an impending appointment or not. Once an appointment is confirmed, let's say from a new friend, I let him know that my schedule is a bit hectic from day to day and that we will have to schedule a time to talk when we both can talk freely. Emails get answered in the standard amount of time (which is at the longest about 4 hours same day and in the am for late emails.) since I'm in front of a PC or I have my phone with me at all times. I do NOT tolerate someone who wants to monopolize my time. It's one of the reasons I took my phone number down. Some guys make assumptions if you're not available for them.

This is usually the case with me as well. But, this guy totally flipped on me when I told him I was a little busy for once.