Twas the Night Before Christmas
T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND ALL THROUGH THE NATION
REPUBLICANS REVELED IN GREAT JUBILATION.
THE DEMS WHINED AND TOSSED IN THEIR COLLECTIVE BEDS
WHILE DREAMS OF HACKING AND RECOUNTS DANCED IN THEIR HEADS.
IN CHAPPAQUA, A WOMAN OF NO MORALS OR GRACE
STILL RAGED AT LOSING THE ELECTORAL RACE.
IN WASHINGTON, THEY AWOKE TO A TERRIBLE CLATTER
AND RUSHED TO THE WINDOWS TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER.
PUMPS, BACKHOES AND TRACTORS WERE ON A STOMP
WELL WHAT DO YOU KNOW, THEY WERE DRAINING THE SWAMP.
AND OUT ON THE LAWN IN A SLEIGH ON THE GRASSES
THERE APPEARED DONALD WITH EIGHT GLOOMY JACKASSES.
AND HE WHISTLED AND SHOUTED AND TWEETED SO MERRY
“NOW SCHUMER, LYNCH, PODESTA, BIDEN, AND KERRY,
NOW JARRETT, AND BRENNAN AND REID THE CLOWN:
IT’S DAWN IN AMERICA THERE’S A NEW MAN IN TOWN!”
HE ROLLED OUT HIS LIST AND CHECKED IT TWICE
IN THE MEDIA, HE KNEW WHO WAS NAUGHTY OR NICE.
“TO BECKEL AND BLITZER, GEORGE WILL AND LESTER HOLT
AND MEGYN AND RADDATZ AND MATTHEWS THE DOLT.
TO KRISTOFF, CNN, AND THE HAGS ON THE VIEW,
KRISTOL, AND NEVER TRUMPERS I BID YOU ADIEU.”
AND THEN OFF HE RODE IN A BURST OF HASTE
AND I HEARD HIM SAY ‘THERE’S NO TIME TO WASTE.”
PYONYANG, RUSSIA, THE MIDDLE EAST AND THE CHINESE
IMMIGRATION, RUSSIA, EUROPE AND A CARBON FREEZE.
GENERAL CABINET BUILDING AND ISLAMIC TERROR
IT’S TOUGH TO GOVERN WITHOUT MAKING AN ERROR.
BUT IN TAIWAN FOR ONCE THE FUTURE WAS BRIGHT
IN JERUSALEM, THEY LIT THE FIRST CHANUKAH LIGHT
SO, TO BED I GO WITH GREAT HOPE AND CHEER
HAPPY CHANUKAH, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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