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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 8, 2016
Location: DFW
Posts: 187
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Sex Toys: The Ramble
Alright ladies, here's the deal: I love sex Toys. More specifically, I love using them. Even more specifically, I love bringing a 50lb suitcase full of them to a hotel room and trying out each and every one of them with a like-minded lady and/or similarly perverse provider in a relaxed setting. By relaxed I don't mean "Take a deep breath and smell this... nope, we're going to need the mallet," but rather something more along the lines of old fuck buddies just so happen to spot one another in a hotel lobby during a sex toy convention and are interrupted mid-conversation by an Adam & Eve rep. telling them they both won the sex toy raffle. Oh, and I don't literally mean each and every toy, for instance we might want to pass on the giant volcano-shaped rotating vibrating anal plug. You're welcome to try, and I'll watch with genuine interest, but that thing looks like it's built to stay in (feel free to keep it if it does, you earned it).
Anyhow, I digress. I haven't even tried out half of the toys I own. I guarantee I have ones that even this audience hasn't tried before becuse I started making the damn things myself after spending non-trivial amounts of money on fuck-machines that turned out to be suggestive-nudging apparatuses. "But rx, wtf toys are you talking about?"
3x $100-180 feeldoes. I tried one with a couple fwbs with some success, but these things are well made and it's easy to tell that with enough practice they could be the highlight of many evenings. One of them has a couple dozen modes and some of the modes are alternating vibration, as in the pussy end will vibrate a certain way and then the ass end will vibrate that way, leading to one person going "ooh that's fucking nice" then a couple seconds later the other says "oh yeah I like that one". There's something particularly hot about that to me.
TENS unit with 4 independently controlled channels + accessories including: pussy electrode, anal electrode, strap electrode (for cock, or balls, or super long nerps I suppose), dozens of different sizes of stick-on electrodes, electrode gel, etc. If you don't know what this is, it's basically a highly configurable shocking machine. It can give you a dull little hum of a shock that you have to really pay attention to even tell if it's there or you can set it so that it feels like Zeus himself just wrong-hole'd you with 14 rock hard inches of lightning dick. Of course there is a universe of gray area between those examples, and just like your favorite vibrating wand it has tons of different modes and patterns on top of the intensity setting. Many people, plenty of men included, use these units for hands-free orgasms. Electricity will flow between the two electrodes of a channel via the path of least resistance. Keeping that in mind, if I put an anal electrode in me, and a woman put an anal electrode in her, and we were in a face to face position having vaginal sex, then a buzz of electricity would occasionally travel through my ass, through my prostate, through my wee-wee, into her hoo-ha, through her g-spot, and into her ass. Or if she wore a sticky electrode on the hood above her clit, it could travel through her g-spot and through her clit instead of her ass. In theory. I've never tried that out... does at least one of you fuckers see why I want to?
Fucking machines. Haven't tried one? Well imagine getting fucked by something that doesn't ever get tired. Find your sweet spot and hold still (good luck). Of course I have a ton of different attachments for them.
Reciprocating saw with Doc Johnson vac-u-lock adapter and plenty of attachments. No, it's not dangerous at all. It does fuck more violently than anything I've ever seen in my life though. I used this on a fwb while I sucked on her clit in 69 position and she went nuts. Like she was fucking possessed. She couldn't get enough, and when she started cumming she almost drowned me in piss. Fuck it was hot. Super awkward to hold the saw like that, but I'll always remember how hard she came and how fucked my bed was afterward. Drilldos are lame.
Lots of wand head attachments, including the good version of the wand harness that lets you attach your favorite dong to your wand. The best prostate euphoria I've ever experienced was from a wand attachment that I have. I'm still chasing that dragon.
The nice expensive strap-on harnesses and associated dongs etc. Pegging is 50% male preparation, 25% harness, and 20% positioning. The remaining 5% that is finesse can make all the difference though. If you've never strapped one on and hopped in some man ass before then I can teach you, or just try out the harnesses and things etc, but what I'm getting after with this nice succinct post is a focus on mutual play and involvement. Also, I'm not a sub, nor am I a dom, but if you get froggy and slap me and call me a bitch whilst thrusting a silicon dick in my ass then what happens next will make Aliesha and CD3 seem like Carol Brady (RIP).
Drones. The nice ones. I'm not sure how to incorporate these... yet. Getting head while flying a drone around the city via VR goggles? There has to be something more directly sexual. Dolly zoom out from a pretty pink butt hole? Has that been done?
No whips, gags, etc. Plenty of hardcore bondage gear that I've made by request over time, but no instruments that are designed to inflict pain. Well maybe the volcano plug. I don't know why the fuck I bought that thing. Anyhow, pain just ain't my thing. Oh shit that reminds me: NO URETHRAL SOUNDS. I'm far from closed minded, but everyone has a line drawn somewhere.
Many of the most popular g-spot and p-spot (which some women prefer due to individual physique) massagers, whether they be glass, stainless steel, vibrating, rotating, thrusting, etc.
... but wait, there's more! But you get the gist. I've been adding to this text for a couple days now and reckon it touches on the important points for a good conversation with a side of ISO. Bless you if anyone actually reads all this mess.
So in short, any ladies interested in a little Sex Toy ParTy? Reply or feel free to PM me... about PM'ing me! (Ohh shiiiit get it? Somebody grab a hose, I'm on fire.)
Any guys who read this have any recommendations I should reach out to?
What are your favorite toys folks? Why?
Lastly, if any of you girls want video of yourself with a fucking machine then I would love the opportunity to exploit the fact that I own/make them. I'm sure we could work something out, unless it's the volcano plug.
*Bonus Tip*: A $7 lamp dimmer cord from Home Depot turns your Hitachi wand into a variable-speed monster. No more going numb after a couple minutes! (Also, if you've got a sensitive bean then try slipping a thick sock over the head. Cum sock equality! Or something.)
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My Bio Page - Illiniois - Chicago
