NEW from "Toyzindustreez"

[Toyz]

CawkMaster69

New from ToyzIndustreez we are pleased to introduce CawkMaster69!CawkMaster69 is the next generation of wearable sexual technology, it gives you the ability to spot pussy you can rent, alerts on the right time to move on from that BBBJ, & can even tell if you are about to tap a dude…

Check out some of the advanced features of CM69 and tell us you don’t want one like yesterday?


· Trademarked “Lap Counter” sounds a 120 decibel alarm after 200 licks…cause face it, if she hasn’t cum by then she ain’t gonna
· Patent pending Wood Meter…gives off rapid “chirps” when your erection has reached sufficient rigidity to effect coital penetration
· “Rainbow Alert” Lets you know if you’re about to poke a dude by announcing “DANGER WILL ROBINSON!! DANGER!! (or whatever name you program in)
· “Remnants of Shrek”…has a “dried crusty spermizoid” meter to warn you of recent BB’ing activity
· “Its Moist” alert-coupled with the Wood Meter makes sure you slip in at the proper time
· “Pocket MOD Protector” Whispers to you “SNAAAKKKEEEE” if you are within 50’ of a Pocket MOD who might be pimping his Ho while you are on the prowl.




ACT NOW BECAUSE SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED!

If you are one of the first 10 callers, we’ll throw in the valuable “HoSpotter” accessory at no additional cost!“HoSpotter” will advise you of when a Ho4Pay is within 10’.Your CawkMaster69 will start slowly saying “SHE-A-HO” as you get closer and closer…CM69 will get faster and faster…louder and louder as you approach until there is NO doubt that’s your girl…within 3’ CM69 will be on stun with “SHEAHO-SHEAHO-SHEAHO-SHEAHO” sounding out in splendid staccato….for an addition $5 you can also upgrade your CM69 HoSpotter with a pricing tool.So if shes within your end of the month budget, CM69 will sound off with “SHE-A-CHEAP-HO”…


What are you waiting for?!?!?You would expect to pay thousands of dollars for 9th generation technology of this magnitude!But for a LIMITED TIME you can get your own CawkMaster69 for the bargain basement price of $37.50!! YOU TOO can own your own invaluable CawkMaster69!Operators are standing by…(and they all Ho’s too…our CM69 told us so).

[tzv13]

Shut up and take my money!

[The Allnighter]

Your irreverent humor has been sorely missed.

Talk about starting out with a bang -- or a bang-o-meter!!

All hail the Beeg Cawk!

[RandB fan]

Welcome back ToyZ(daman)
i need one of those with a blue tooth ear piece. I like to treat the HO's like civies
i want to know SheAHo but not advertise that I know.

Great fucking idea, I'll invest the Black book value of your ancient Daimler product if you need an angel investor. My new ride is a full rotisserie restoration of Mom's 67 Dodge Coronet 500 ragtop 383 4bbl 4 speed no power options. The bitches (hos) love it!!!

Welcome back !

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by RandB fan

Welcome back ToyZ(daman)
i need one of those with a blue tooth ear piece. I like to treat the HO's like civies
i want to know SheAHo but not advertise that I know.

Great fucking idea, I'll invest the Black book value of your ancient Daimler product if you need an angel investor. My new ride is a full rotisserie restoration of Mom's 67 Dodge Coronet 500 ragtop 383 4bbl 4 speed no power options. The bitches (hos) love it!!!

Welcome back !

Thanks Rand!

Damn, when I read about the car it took me back...my first car was a 69 Plymouth Superbee with a 383 Hemi, 411 POS, 4 speed hurst had the "cowl induction" which was just a air vent on the hood...I shoulda died in that car but somehow didn't....

[Miss Valentina]

Arc weld your zippers shut heauxs!!!

Die Meisterhahn is back!

[David.Douchehurst]

Originally Posted by Miss Valentina

Arc weld your zippers shut heauxs!!!

Die Meisterhahn is back!

Whut 'r yew sayin', MissVee? Master? Laik thet old blind Shaolin master feller on thet klassic 70s teevee show, Kung Fu? Cuz his name wuz Master Po. 'R in this case, Toyz wuld be MeisterPo!

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by David.Douchehurst

Whut 'r yew sayin', MissVee? Master? Laik thet old blind Shaolin master feller on thet klassic 70s teevee show, Kung Fu? Cuz his name wuz Master Po. 'R in this case, Toyz wuld be MeisterPo!

Its a little known fact that Master Po called Kwai Chang Caine "Grasshopper" because he was always spitting out this disgusting brown liquid out of his mouth...

And an even lesser known fact is two of my friends-actually one friend & an acquaintance-acted in a movie with Carradine. Who met his demise in Bankok. probably trying to cheat a hoogar outta her donation.

[fun2come]

Originally Posted by Miss Valentina

Arc weld your zippers shut heauxs!!!

Die Meisterhahn is back!

Hate to correct you, this is my ONLY chance - ever , unless you venture into more German ...
so I am JUMPING right on ...

Welcome back toyz, indeed, Der Meisterhahn is back ...

Question is, can he stay long enough this time

[Mr Peabody]

I don't know about this. I shelled out 29.99 for the CawkMaster50/50 last week and the first Ho it found for me had a glass eye that kept falling out. How do I know that Toyzintustreez has really improved their quality control.

BTW, I did know someone who thought he could fly with his RoadRunner. I guess he did for about 10 seconds.

Welcome back, now get your sore ass to work making up for lost time.

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Mr Peabody

I don't know about this. I shelled out 29.99 for the CawkMaster50/50 last week and the first Ho it found for me had a glass eye that kept falling out. How do I know that Toyzintustreez has really improved their quality control.

BTW, I did know someone who thought he could fly with his RoadRunner. I guess he did for about 10 seconds.

Welcome back, now get your sore ass to work making up for lost time.

Well it is true we had some technical difficulties with previous editions of CawkMaster...series one we found was directing our buyers to ANY vagina, not just humans. A few of our customers were compensated for their time & embarrassment after mistakenly copulating with other species, but no pending lawsuits are active at this time.

We also installed an emergency shut down button after two of our customers were fired when their CM's went off in board meetings shouting "SHE A HO, SHE A HO" while their female VP's were giving presentations.

We have seen a 95% success rate in the current model, and expect continued improvements over time. The 5% is well above market norms & is expected fallout for such a technical instrument.

[a10bomb]

Originally Posted by Toyz

We also installed an emergency shut down button after two of our customers were fired when their CM's went off in board meetings shouting "SHE A HO, SHE A HO" while their female VP's were giving presentations.

.

[Victoria Columbari]

Welcome back Toyz.

[Usual suspects]

Welcome back!

[agentx]

I just bought an unreliable watch recently from a company based in Cupertino that looks very similar to the CawkMaster69 - think I need to take it back. The CawkMaster has better apps...

One question: does the CM69's "Map" app locate illusive poosey mafia meetings and hooker church locations?