How should you bow out? Providers/Clients Moving On/Retiring

[mochamagicman2]

I'm not sure if this topic has ever been covered, but I did want to get the community's opinion on something that's been on my mind lately. When Providers and Clients become 'like' friends - meaning when they see each other regularly for over a period of a few years, and then the Provider and/or Client moves away, moves on with life, retires... What is the proper way to exit or bow out?

a.) Would you prefer a text that says hey I really enjoyed our time together over the past few years... I'm moving in a new direction take care

b.) Ghost them completely (no call, no text, no pms,..) complete silence

c.) Meet with them one last time and tell them good by in person.

d.) Other


Take it away... I'm curious to hear the community's perspective. Please keep your comments professional - thanks in advance.

[tbone2u]

C......if you are act
If you are acually friends...end it the right way

[mochamagicman2]

Thanks tbone... is that what you typically do or have done in the past? I'm guilty of b.) but have done c.) once or twice.

[tbone2u]

I try sir but I am far from perfect
I'm guilty of ABC, but I'm trying to better.

[Guest111819]

I have had a few Gents tell me about their previous ATF's just disappearing into retirement.

No public announcement, no warning, no goodbye, and no "thanks for all the support over the years" and they seem truly hurt by it.


I've only had a few regular clients just ghost on me. I have no hard feelings towards them. But I do wish they had been able to send at least a "goodbye" email so I'm not left wondering and worrying about their health.

I also wonder about many of the wonderful Gents that were regulars before I retired several years ago that seem to have retired themselves before I came back.

[Fizley]

Providers come and go all the time. Some fade out quietly, others cAll me and let me know.

I have a solid core of regulars I rotate. As of now I occasionally seek out something new. The last time was in April of this year. With the current market for hobbiests/providers, I do not want to be treated badly the way the last few providers have.

Unless I find something shinny or new, When my regulars retire I might retire with them. There will not be any parties or celebration. I will likely go quietly.

[mochamagicman2]

@ Krystal I think many in the Hobby (some won’t admit it though) get hurt or disappointed when their ATF leaves without saying a word and they never hear from them again. Yes this is a hobby and there aren’t any obligations on either side to stay in contact or reach out... everyone is free to leave/drop off at anytime. But, yes but... in this crazy Hobby of ours we do find people who we care about (for all of the wrong reasons) and a simple good bye text or face to face text is in my opinion the decent thing to do... I am guilty of Ghosting ...but will make it a point to tell my ATFs good bye when the time comes

[boardman]

Another good reason to keep it moving and not have an ATF...IMHO of course

[Guest111819]

I wouldn't say that I've grown to care about any of my clients for "all the wrong reasons".

I care about them because the time we spend together is filled with more than just physical activities. That's just the type of provider I am and have always been. And spending 2-5 hours one and two times a week over a span of years with someone, a certain amount of "feels" is bound to happen.

We are all still human beings.

I wonder about those Gents. I think of them sometimes and wish them well. That's it. I don't "pine" for them or let it effect my day to day life or my business practices lol

Well....not anymore. Not since I made the colossal dumbass move of falling head over heals and actually marrying a client. SMDH @ myself for that shit


So...yes. If you don't wanna catch feelings for a provider or client, make sure you never become that much of a regular, see many different providers, & keep strict boundaries that are clearly defined and never blurred.

Then, no one will be hurt if you just drop off the face of the Earth.

[hyperdrive]

Good thread...first off never thought I'd be in the hobby this long. Started in 2010...ECCIE member since 2011. Several ATF's have come and gone and come back. The ones that left..have left for good...so far.. and I wish them well. Most didn't post retirement ads..they just left. Some were nice enough to send a PM or text and let me know and usually we got together one last time. A few became friends and still keep in touch. For what it's worth 2 ladies I reviewed my 1st year on ECCIE came back this year and have seen them multiple times and in the process became friends with...but I use the word friends loosely. So in reference to the OP's post..A and C. IMHO if a provider decides to leave a retirement post(ad) is a bad idea simply because from what I've seen....they usually come back. The ladies that just leave...and vanish..most of the the time never come back...and I certainly wish them well. When it comes time for me to leave....I'm just gonna fade away...and I'm pretty certain no one will notice.....again good thread OP.

[sinnerofsorts]

You must have been going bare or something!

[azteclust]

B and than C, they get the idea time to move on

I do want to note there was a provider that we enjoy 5 years and than silence, we just never text each other

[mochamagicman2]

The point to my post was to try and get a understanding as to how people have typically handled this situation in the past besides b.) ghosting, which is probably fine for 99% of providers/clients but for ATFs (people who you've seen many times for several years... how do people handle this).

For the record I've told several hobby friend/providers that entered into serious relationship that they should simply call it quits with the hobby (one last session and then said our good byes).

[governmentguru]

Fifty ways to leave your lover
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

[tbone2u]

We seem to all be different OP. That difference is going to show up in our character in different ways.
My advice is to do what you think is right for you.
None of the opinions here should make a difference for you