Sports Talk - Golf Jokes

[Alexis Love]

My Broncos are 4 - 1 - Just sayin folks...

A man was addressing the ball when an announcement came over the loud-speaker: "Will the gentleman on hole number one please not hit from the Ladies' tee box."

The man backs away, a little distracted, then approaches his ball again. As he does, the same announcement comes over the loud-speaker: "Will the gentleman on hole number one please not hit from the Ladies' tee box."

The man is getting irritated now, and after backing away from his shot - approaches his ball one more time. This time the announcement came: "We really need the gentleman on hole number one to move off of the Ladies' tee box!"

To which the man turns around and yells: "And I really need the announcer to shut the hell up and let me play my second shot!"

[SknyDiva]

I never liked the Broncos. Now I watch because of my boy Peyton Manning. Yea Broncos are on a Roll.

[LaffyMan]

That was funny and would totally be me. I kinda suck at golf.

[coon-ass56]

Alexis, and we all know that his britches were down to his ankles while he was addressing his second shot.....

[Alexis Love]

Yes, Peyton is the "man" in Denver ;_)

One more for the road...

Two men ran out to the course for a quick nine after work. They get to the tee and see two ladies playing ahead of them.

One of the men complains that the ladies will slow them down and says he is going to ask if they can play through. He goes halfway to the ladies and turns back.

The other man asked what was wrong. The man said, "I can't go up there that's my wife and my mistress."

So the other man says he will go. He goes halfway and comes back. His partner asked what happened and the man replied, "Small world, huh?" --

[Koontz]

I know Peyton is great and all.. but I miss Tebow.

I'm sure for a Broncos fan he was stressful, but for an outsider he was so interesting and weird to watch.

[traveler_]

I only play golf in the 80's, if it gets hotter than that i stay home

[Old Horn Dog]

Originally Posted by Koontz

I know Peyton is great and all.. but I miss Tebow.

I'm sure for a Broncos fan he was stressful, but for an outsider he was so interesting and weird to watch.

Some people's egos get the better of them--someone (New England?) REALLY wanted to sign him as a TE (or wide-out--can't remember which; my assistant @ work could tell you), but he absolutely refused to sign w/anyone other than as QB. Silly--to me it meant he obviously didn't really want to play. Now he's got some crap-ass commentator job? It's a living but he could've done 7-8 yrs., retired wealthy assuming he produced, THEN taken a slightly-less-crap-ass-commentator-job.

So I agree he WAS interesting for about 5 mins., but when people tank like that publicly, and then make decisions which again, not only aren't all that smart long-term, but do it publicly too, I think, "Holy CRAP! I'm not the only one everyone can hold up as an 'object lesson'! NICE!"

I'm also a big Peyton Manning fan although that does NOT mean I always, or even often, pull for the Broncos. I do think John Elway is a VERY smart guy however. It's like that: my teams & my favorite QB's never match. My all-time fave? Donovan McNabb. Do I HATE Philly? Yes...

[Koontz]

Originally Posted by Old Horn Dog

Some people's egos get the better of them--someone (New England?) REALLY wanted to sign him as a TE (or wide-out--can't remember which; my assistant @ work could tell you), but he absolutely refused to sign w/anyone other than as QB. Silly--to me it meant he obviously didn't really want to play. Now he's got some crap-ass commentator job? It's a living but he could've done 7-8 yrs., retired wealthy assuming he produced, THEN taken a slightly-less-crap-ass-commentator-job.

So I agree he WAS interesting for about 5 mins., but when people tank like that publicly, and then make decisions which again, not only aren't all that smart long-term, but do it publicly too, I think, "Holy CRAP! I'm not the only one everyone can hold up as an 'object lesson'! NICE!"

I'm also a big Peyton Manning fan although that does NOT mean I always, or even often, pull for the Broncos. I do think John Elway is a VERY smart guy however. It's like that: my teams & my favorite QB's never match. My all-time fave? Donovan McNabb. Do I HATE Philly? Yes...

From reading his book, I doubt it was an ego thing. As far as football goes, he always only had interest in playing quarterback, and he had enough non football interests that he didn't have to play football if he didn't want to play another position.

I know Manning is way better. Broncos did the right thing. I just enjoyed watching Tebow. He would throw the ball soooo terribly lol. Then as long as the defense kept them in the game, he was gonna get some kinda crazy magic out of nowhere in the fourth.

[lcladj]

"Put" means to place a thing where your want it. "Putt" means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing!

[Budlight_Mike]

A foursome of guys are waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of women are hittingfrom the ladies' tee.
The ladies are taking their time.

When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. Then she goes over and whiffs it completely.
Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet.
She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically,
"I guess all those fucking lessons I took over the winter aren't helping".
One of the men immediately responds:
"Well, there you have it...You should have taken golf lessons instead!"
He never even had a chance to duck. He was 68.......