How do you define "open relationship"

[Little Miss Cuntcakes]

How I define this is holding a connection with and honor a significant other, while allowing the individual freedom of choice to live and love without limitations. In laymans terms do what do you as long as you take of "home" or '#1" first.
I'm in a confused situation. ( I'm the confused one btw)
I recently started seeing someone I really dig. I clicked with him on so many levels. He's a good guy. Were on the same level in life as far as having your shit together. I'd really like to see where this can go. What's the issue? He's a hobbiest. Lol
One day at a time though... Something happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm not a very jealous person. I pout but get over shit quickly. I was raised with the whole " a man is gonna be a man." It's Whatever, shit happens. I think Oscar Wilde said it best " I can resist everything but temptation." Anyhow, I've told this person do what you do. Idgaf who or what it is you do, I just don't want to know- hear - or see this shit. Have consideration for me at least on the board. It's not so much jealousy but looking stupid. And am a firm believer that ignorance is truly bliss.
I have asked just be honest. No lies. No reason to lie or trip out right?
This isn't about swinging either. (Yet)
Nor am I jumping beds the way he does. I ain't got time to bed hop. Or am I intrested in doing so. ( yet 😈 )
So yesterday somebody enlightened me about a recent encounter my boy had. I asked this fool if it was true and how recent. He told me the truth. I said cool. Thank you and let it go. Like foreal lol I did not go little miss cuntcakes on him. (Shocking isn't it) I'm not one to go get even by fucking a hotter guy (or girl or both) but he flipped out kinda turned it around. Basically he's mad bc he got caught lol People talk around here. (A lot) I didn't go asking. Wasn't expecting to hear that. But still got the shit end of the stick. I thought I was being really cool about it, but evidently, I'm doing something wrong? I am confused about how this bullshit works? I'm stil green to many things. Not looking for opinions so much on my situation, but more along the line of "open relationship" veiws. How do y'all define "open relationship"?

On a side note. I'm not asking relationship advice so much or to be Judged. A relationship is what you make of it, not what other people tell you it should be. What works for them may not, and in many cases will not, work for others. Ive never let anyone tell me that my type of relationship is wrong. It may be wrong for them, but that does not make it wrong for everyone. Just would like to hear views and your stories for my own understanding.

[joshharris86]

How things work is entirely up to you and your comfort level.
Decide what your boundaries are, clearly communicate them and then stick to them!

IMHO, only you know what you're ok with. If someone crosses those boundaries, they then prove they have no respect for you. Simple as that.

[bearf15amc]

It doesn't appear you are as open as he is in this relationship. If you want something tell him what it is exactly...men cannot take hints...or at least I can't. Open is open which includes you. Enjoy yourself...

Bear

PS... I'm available, lol.

[noraustinguy]

Originally Posted by Little Miss Cuntcakes

How I define this is holding a connection with and honor a significant other, while allowing the individual freedom of choice to live and love without limitations. In laymans terms do what do you as long as you take of "home" or '#1" first.
I'm in a confused situation. ( I'm the confused one btw)
I recently started seeing someone I really dig. I clicked with him on so many levels. He's a good guy. Were on the same level in life as far as having your shit together. I'd really like to see where this can go. What's the issue? He's a hobbiest. Lol
One day at a time though... Something happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm not a very jealous person. I pout but get over shit quickly. I was raised with the whole " a man is gonna be a man." It's Whatever, shit happens. I think Oscar Wilde said it best " I can resist everything but temptation." Anyhow, I've told this person do what you do. Idgaf who or what it is you do, I just don't want to know- hear - or see this shit. Have consideration for me at least on the board. It's not so much jealousy but looking stupid. And am a firm believer that ignorance is truly bliss.
I have asked just be honest. No lies. No reason to lie or trip out right?
This isn't about swinging either. (Yet)
Nor am I jumping beds the way he does. I ain't got time to bed hop. Or am I intrested in doing so. ( yet 😈 )
So yesterday somebody enlightened me about a recent encounter my boy had. I asked this fool if it was true and how recent. He told me the truth. I said cool. Thank you and let it go. Like foreal lol I did not go little miss cuntcakes on him. (Shocking isn't it) I'm not one to go get even by fucking a hotter guy (or girl or both) but he flipped out kinda turned it around. Basically he's mad bc he got caught lol People talk around here. (A lot) I didn't go asking. Wasn't expecting to hear that. But still got the shit end of the stick. I thought I was being really cool about it, but evidently, I'm doing something wrong? I am confused about how this bullshit works? I'm stil green to many things. Not looking for opinions so much on my situation, but more along the line of "open relationship" veiws. How do y'all define "open relationship"?

On a side note. I'm not asking relationship advice so much or to be Judged. A relationship is what you make of it, not what other people tell you it should be. What works for them may not, and in many cases will not, work for others. Ive never let anyone tell me that my type of relationship is wrong. It may be wrong for them, but that does not make it wrong for everyone. Just would like to hear views and your stories for my own understanding.

Haha, she said Nor!

-Nor

[SA Angel]

I think the main tenant of a open relationship is honesty. You own up to your dirt and don't give them shit for theirs. When people start lying by omission is when things get.....weird. At least in my own experience.

In you case, where you don't want to know, I do think it's stupid he couldn't my put what he does in your face. Everyone knows that white knights and princesses share everything. He was being dumb and should only be mad at himself.

[canyonman]

Him being a hobbiest and on this site is going to be a thorn in your ass... Not wanting to know is cool... I see guys bragging all the time about this and that, them thinking it's "private" , fuck ain't nothing private on this site or anywhere on the net..
Although I don't socialize , I am a private fucker that keeps shit to myself...But a lot of gals and guys here like to socialize, to each their own but they all talk behind the scenes , bragging about this and that..it's a guys nature and gals..well they just like to gossip...
That is the thorn... it's going to find it's way back to you one way or another.

You seem like a cool chick but I know before long you will be looking for a new phone!! lol...

[blasphemouse]

Open relationship would be a relationship which both parties agreed on being able to see others. The degree of that freedom depends on the arrangement? Some might have to get permission while others may not. I've never been in one but I had friends that did, and they all say "communication is key" like its the mantra. Then again, communication is pretty key in any type of relationship really. Maybe it's even more of a key factor in an "Open" relationship.

As for the guy turning it around on you, I see it as a sign that he is into playing "games". (In this case the game of assuming authority.) Since your in a new relationship, there maybe a few of this type of scoping out the water type skirmishes in your evident horizon.

[inspector farquar]

Originally Posted by joshharris86

How things work is entirely up to you and your comfort level.
Decide what your boundaries are, clearly communicate them and then stick to them!

IMHO, only you know what you're ok with. If someone crosses those boundaries, they then prove they have no respect for you. Simple as that.

Words to live by here. Simple, but not easy. Strength needed. Do you have enough?

[Guest100114-1]

Little miss cuntcakes,
Don't let this hobby thing peel away what or who you are and the feelings you had prior to this crazy world. Whatever makes you happy do it! This hobby tends to brake down your original walls and makes you think it's ok to fuck everyone else because that's how we met. Nah, bullshit. I tend to keep hobby world separate from real word relationships. There is no crossing that because I'm selfish and jealous. And that's ok with me . Like others have said, COMMUNICATION is important. Especially if you're trying to make yourself feel ok by sharing.

[noraustinguy]

Originally Posted by Billy Horn

Little miss cuntcakes,
Don't let this hobby thing peel away what or who you are and the feelings you had prior to this crazy world. Whatever makes you happy do it! This hobby tends to brake down your original walls and makes you think it's ok to fuck everyone else because that's how we met. Nah, bullshit. I tend to keep hobby world separate from real word relationships. There is no crossing that because I'm selfish and jealous. And that's ok with me . Like others have said, COMMUNICATION is important. Especially if you're trying to make yourself feel ok by sharing.

BH stole the words right out of my mouth!
He must be a mind reader!

-Nor

[Little Miss Cuntcakes]

Originally Posted by bearf15amc

It doesn't appear you are as open as he is in this relationship. If you want something tell him what it is exactly...men cannot take hints...or at least I can't. Open is open which includes you. Enjoy yourself...

Bear

PS... I'm available, lol.

Oh no sir. I'm very clear on what I want. All I didn't want was to know. I think that's pretty fair. I told him You do what you do, just keep from away from me.
I Appreciate his honesty. He's a grown man. He can do what he wants, I don't know wether to say it's about respect but more consideration towards me.is that asking too much? Atvthe same time, if anything I'd rather hear it straight from him than someone else. Get what I'm saying? Nor is it a double standard. Because yes I do still do my rub and tug but that's it. No extras. When I'm not with anyone, that's a different story. I choose to be "be good" though. Don't expect that person to be but I'm stupid in the sence that the other person would be considerate and not put anything out there. I'm left feeling like maybe I'm wrong on how open is suppose to be.

[TemptationTammie]

Originally Posted by SAangel27

I think the main tenant of a open relationship is honesty. You own up to your dirt and don't give them shit for theirs. When people start lying by omission is when things get.....weird. At least in my own experience..

I agree 100% here. Lies and secrets tear down and ruin things.

Originally Posted by blasphemouse

Open relationship would be a relationship which both parties agreed on being able to see others. The degree of that freedom depends on the arrangement? Some might have to get permission while others may not. I've never been in one but I had friends that did, and they all say "communication is key" like its the mantra. Then again, communication is pretty key in any type of relationship really. Maybe it's even more of a key factor in an "Open" relationship.

As for the guy turning it around on you, I see it as a sign that he is into playing "games". (In this case the game of assuming authority.) Since your in a new relationship, there maybe a few of this type of scoping out the water type skirmishes in your evident horizon.

Originally Posted by joshharris86

How things work is entirely up to you and your comfort level.
Decide what your boundaries are, clearly communicate them and then stick to them!

IMHO, only you know what you're ok with. If someone crosses those boundaries, they then prove they have no respect for you. Simple as that.

Make the boundaries clear. I know of a couple that used to discuss their trysts and he told me that it was the hottest sex afterwards.
I know of someone else that was married and their agreement was not to lie or keep secrets. He came back from overseas and she kept one of her boytoys secret and ended up in divorce.
I also know of another couple where they are each allowed to play but they don't want to know if or when their partner hooks up.
There are sooooo many different ways of looking at this type of relationship. YOU need to decide together what you want or expect.
I think it may be completely different when it comes to some hobbiests, they are so used to hiding, that they don't want to open up completely.

[newcumerz]

99% percent of us are one of, or some of the following combinations.

liars, cheaters, backstabbers, man whores, slotas, mentally unstable MF's, assholes, bitches, etc. you get the picture. I wouldn't start a relationship with anyone here. No offense to anyone. There are plenty of good people here I'm sure, but we carry lots of baggage lol. Haha just my 2 hundred cents.

"We accept the love we think we deserve.......is the reason we choose the wrong person."
That's just my experience.

[Aftershock]

Originally Posted by Little Miss Cuntcakes

I recently started seeing someone I really dig. I clicked with him on so many levels. He's a good guy. Were on the same level in life as far as having your shit together. I'd really like to see where this can go. What's the issue? He's a hobbiest. Lol
One day at a time though... Something happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm not a very jealous person. I pout but get over shit quickly. I was raised with the whole " a man is gonna be a man." It's Whatever, shit happens. I think Oscar Wilde said it best " I can resist everything but temptation." Anyhow, I've told this person do what you do. Idgaf who or what it is you do, I just don't want to know- hear - or see this shit. Have consideration for me at least on the board. It's not so much jealousy but looking stupid. And am a firm believer that ignorance is truly bliss.
I have asked just be honest. No lies. No reason to lie or trip out right?
This isn't about swinging either. (Yet)
Nor am I jumping beds the way he does. I ain't got time to bed hop. Or am I intrested in doing so. ( yet �� )
So yesterday somebody enlightened me about a recent encounter my boy had. I asked this fool if it was true and how recent. He told me the truth. I said cool. Thank you and let it go. Like foreal lol I did not go little miss cuntcakes on him. (Shocking isn't it) I'm not one to go get even by fucking a hotter guy (or girl or both) but he flipped out kinda turned it around. Basically he's mad bc he got caught lol People talk around here. (A lot) I didn't go asking. Wasn't expecting to hear that. But still got the shit end of the stick. I thought I was being really cool about it, but evidently, I'm doing something wrong? I am confused about how this bullshit works? I'm stil green to many things. Not looking for opinions so much on my situation, but more along the line of "open relationship" veiws. How do y'all define "open relationship"?

On a side note. I'm not asking relationship advice so much or to be Judged. A relationship is what you make of it, not what other people tell you it should be. What works for them may not, and in many cases will not, work for others. Ive never let anyone tell me that my type of relationship is wrong. It may be wrong for them, but that does not make it wrong for everyone. Just would like to hear views and your stories for my own understanding.

You know that he is a hobbiest and basically say you don't care who or what he does as long as you don't hear about it. Then someone else fills your ear with what he is up to then you confront him about it. By doing this you leave him no choice but let you hear his doings from his own mouth. Why bring shit up if you dont give a fuck about it and don't want to hear about it? Who ever told you about his activity should be told to mind their own business or at the very least know that you don't want to hear about it.
Based from what you have written, I would take his getting mad is coming from you saying one thing and doing another. Nothing is his fault in this, just the person with loose lips and you bringing it up. Almost sounds like you threw it in his face, not cool.

I like your idea of the open relationship, fuck or flirt with who ever just remember at the end of the day/night you belong to me and I to you. I'll keep my encounters to myself and you keep yours to yourself. You don't wanna hear how he plowed some chicks ass pipe and he don't wanna hear how much of that 10 inch dick you got down your throat...

[noraustinguy]

Originally Posted by newcumerz

99% percent of us are one of, or some of the following combinations.

liars, cheaters, backstabbers, man whores, slotas, mentally unstable MF's, assholes, bitches, etc. you get the picture. I wouldn't start a relationship with anyone here. No offense to anyone. There are plenty of good people here I'm sure, but we carry lots of baggage lol. Haha just my 2 hundred cents.

"We accept the love we think we deserve.......is the reason we choose the wrong person."
That's just my experience.

I agree!

-Nor