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KobCel · 02-13-2011, 12:24 AM

Hello all -

I am new to hobbying and am interested to know how some of you handle the "relationship" aspect between provider and hobbyist. I am sure some can treat it as an impersonal transaction and move on without issue, but I am wondering about the others who actually find some commonality with one another. Do you maintain a friendship in the "normal" sense, or are there implicit rules of the trade that dictate how one behaves, or does not behave?

For me, if I genuinely like a person and it seems like the feeling is mutual (I imagine this might be hard to determine sometimes), I would treat that person as a friend...period. Regardless of the circumstance for meeting, that is what I have always deemed appropriate. Is this wrong, guys? If so, what mindset should I have before continuing this activity, if I continue? Maybe I am over-thinking it.

To the providers, would you rather it always be a professional relationship, or is it better with a touch of personal relationship? I know it would probably depend on the individual, but can you provide some examples of how you have dealt with this issue in the past?

Thanks in advance,

Mr. Fuckin' Sensitivity

BellaIsabella · 02-13-2011, 12:27 AM

I was friends with a lot of my regulars when I was an escort (retired now). I found it enhanced the relationships I had with them. We would go out to lunch, shopping, and sometimes just sit around and talk ( off the clock) They were men I liked spending time with in and out of the bedroom.

pickupkid · 02-13-2011, 01:16 AM

I have been friends : I have been lovers....I can say this for me It is better to be casual my reasons are secrets .jealously. faithfulness, truthful,

wildwooly1 · 02-13-2011, 01:26 AM

its okay to be friends as long as each of you understand the friendship for what it is.
its a friendship based on you (client) providing the provider with payment to be with you and if this friendship is to continue you have to keep paying reguardless how good of friends you actually become.
Some may visit with you off the clock but its still a friendship with boundrys just make sure you both know where it starts and stops so someone doesnt get hurt.

the.namssa · 02-13-2011, 01:29 AM

I am friends with a lot of the SP's I see, especially the one's I see on a regular basis. Either before or after a session, I have gone for drinks, coffee, breakfast, lunch, sushi or something with quite a few of the ladies. Besides being a client I try to be a friend if I like a girl and she is interested.

Next week I am picking up an SP that is visiting a bigger city here in Alberta and driving her to the city where I live and then seeing her for a session after she get settled in. I have seen her previously and we have PM'd each other so we have a rapport. I think that just being with her and chatting to her builds up her feeling of safety and comfort and makes for a better session.

gman44 · 02-13-2011, 02:15 AM

For me its if I've seen a provider several times and we develop a rapport with each other

Valerie · 02-13-2011, 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KobCel

To the providers, would you rather it always be a professional relationship, or is it better with a touch of personal relationship? I know it would probably depend on the individual, but can you provide some examples of how you have dealt with this issue in the past?

You can ask any of my clients and they will tell you.....I have a personal (friendship) relationship with most of them....And I love it that way, I'm not a bloody actress, how I am with clients is my "real" personality, I not only love the physical aspect of client/provider relationships, but I love it when we can goof off, have a good laugh, intelligent conversation, go grab a bite to eat or drink together, etc...IMHO, The better I know someone, the better the sessions get...

samantha thom · 02-13-2011, 07:43 AM

I'm friends with two of my clients. One of them, I've met his kids, gone to his house. He is such a good person, I trust him with anything. We only had 2 sessions and we decided to not continue sleeping together and became real friends.
The other client, ihe invited me to see his manufacturing plant, and he is a very nice older gentleman.
I don't mind being friends with my clients, as long as they are respectful, know their boundaries, have common sense, and no drama or hidden motives (such as wanting a free session). I call that taking advantage of someone. I do go out to breakfast, lunch, dinner, even play tennis with them...all off the clock

Guest011914-1 · 02-13-2011, 07:54 AM

I totally agree...The more of a rapport you have the better it gets..my BFE's know I am always there if they need something from a reference to a suggestion of who to see to an shoulder to lean on...but no drama and hassle...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valerie

You can ask any of my clients and they will tell you.....I have a personal (friendship) relationship with most of them....And I love it that way, I'm not a bloody actress, how I am with clients is my "real" personality, I not only love the physical aspect of client/provider relationships, but I love it when we can goof off, have a good laugh, intelligent conversation, go grab a bite to eat or drink together, etc...IMHO, The better I know someone, the better the sessions get...

Ed Highlight · 02-13-2011, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valerie

.....I have a personal (friendship) relationship with most of them....And I love it that way... but I love it when we can goof off, have a good laugh, intelligent conversation, go grab a bite to eat or drink together, etc...IMHO, The better I know someone, the better the sessions get...

Abso-friggin-lutely!! I am not a serial sampler. I find a person I like (love) to be with in every aspect of a relationship and that makes it more enjoyable to chat on line, talk on the phone, sit for coffee/drinks/lunch, and oh yah, makes the BCD activity waayyyy more meaningful and passionate far beyond and impersonal transaction. I am very fortunate in that regard to have found the perfect "mistress" and very few others that I care for similarly.

Sweet N Little · 02-13-2011, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish Vixen

I totally agree...The more of a rapport you have the better it gets..my BFE's know I am always there if they need something from a reference to a suggestion of who to see to an shoulder to lean on...but no drama and hassle...

+1 It just makes things sooo much better, like a boyfriend without all the hassles

I can open up & "go with" things & have a lot more fun that way, makes things way more enjoyable for both! Its the "I cant wait to see you" factor !

Ed Highlight · 02-13-2011, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

+1 It just makes things sooo much better, like a boyfriend without all the hassles

I can open up & "go with" things & have a lot more fun that way, makes things way more enjoyable for both! Its the "I cant wait to see you" factor !

Hassle free relationship without all the baggage and ALL of the benefits!!

Sweet N Little · 02-13-2011, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ed Highlight

Hassle free relationship without all the baggage and ALL of the benefits!!

Exactly Ed!!!

Fast Gunn · 02-13-2011, 08:50 AM

A provider is selling you a fantasy.

You may get lucky and find a provider that you are truly compatible with, but even so the relationship is still roughly 80 to 90% about the money.

My strong advice to you is to maintain your emotional distance in order to preserve your sanity.

You may be satisfied with just that one special provider, but remember that she needs many more customers like you just to stay in business.

. . . Don't every forget that, Mr. Fucking Sensitivity!

PT4ME · 02-13-2011, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samantha thom

I'm friends with two of my clients. One of them, I've met his kids, gone to his house. He is such a good person, I trust him with anything. We only had 2 sessions and we decided to not continue sleeping together and became real friends.
The other client, ihe invited me to see his manufacturing plant, and he is a very nice older gentleman.
I don't mind being friends with my clients, as long as they are respectful, know their boundaries, have common sense, and no drama or hidden motives (such as wanting a free session). I call that taking advantage of someone. I do go out to breakfast, lunch, dinner, even play tennis with them...all off the clock

I am "friends" (and I do not use the term loosely) with two of the ladies I have seen. I have met both of their kids and families. Both are really good people!

I have had several sessions with both of these lades, and "I" decided to not to continue sleeping with them and became real friends. Not the these need to be mutually exclusive, but in my case I thought the "pay for play" might cloud the issue. I guess sub-consciously it was a "test" of friendship.

As these are two wonderfully "delicious" ladies, I do struggle with keeping my libido in "check". I have had the occasional momentary lapse of reason, lol, and in a weak moment will schedule a session, thankfully few and far between.

As a wise old sage once told me, "leave your heart at home", but we are all human and shit happens. Fortunately for me, SO FAR, all is fine, but I have read several posts where "attempted" friendships in this hobby have caused many a problem.

I am sure you will get a different take on this from a lot of people, this is just my experience in my years of hobbying.