I'm being blackmailed. What should I do?

[fryec]

This lady is not a provider but someone I met off a SD site. She sent me a text and said if I don't send her money to buy this car, she was going to show text messages of our conversations proving we had sex and tell my wife, job and anyone else she could tell.

She threatened to come by my house and talk to my wife.

What should I do?

[Wile E Coyote]

Text conversations do not prove a sex act has occurred, you can say it was a role playing game. How does she know where you live? The only thing you can do is deny deny deny.

[BLM69]

How does she know where you live at? And know about your wife?

[fryec]

We have met. I deleted most of my messages but she says she has all of them. I do have texts of her telling me what she will do once we meet.

She found out my rl name and saw my FB account. I have since disabled my FB.

[VeryClean]

I know you don't want to hear this and it will be difficult but your best bet is to tell your wife and anyone else who needs to know the truth.

The reason I write this is because blackmailers are never satisfied. Even if you give her a large sum of money for a car, she will be back for more money. Then, once you don't have any more money to give, she'll go ahead and tell your wife anyway. Just for the shits & giggles.

You could go to the police instead of telling your wife but I don't know if they will do anything merely based on the blackmailer's text.

This blackmailer sugarbaby, how come she knows who your wife is, your job etc.? Didn't you use a separate fake hobby name & hobby number?

[VeryClean]

Originally Posted by Wile E Coyote

Text conversations do not prove a sex act has occurred, you can say it was a role playing game. How does she know where you live? The only thing you can do is deny deny deny.

I get your point but denying makes the OP look even more guilty, especially in light of the damning texts the blackmailer will show the wife. How will the OP deny the texts?

Also, most women are geared differently than men. Where as for us men, a little bit of erotic romantic role playing through text is nowhere near as bad as having sex with someone outside marriage...for a lot of women that's as much of a betrayal as having sex itself.

[BLM69]

Originally Posted by fryec

We have met. I deleted most of my messages but she says she has all of them. I do have texts of her telling me what she will do once we meet.

She found out my rl name and saw my FB account. I have since disabled my FB.

You're screwed buddy! You should of been more careful with your hobby or it can come back to bite you, I believe what she's doing is extortion and very illegal. Contact a attorney

[Guest083119]

Do you have a friend who is a lawyer whom you trust? You need to have someone else contact and let her know that what she is doing is a felony (extortion) and a very serious crime. If she does not stop contact immediately, you will go to the police and report it. After all, what do you have to lose if she's going to out you to your wife regardless. If you don't know someone, you can try PMing ShysterJon here, he's in Dallas and hobby friendly. He can help or refer you to someone.

Sorry you are dealing with this. It's one of the downsides of the Sugar Bowl - nearly no accountability for bad actions.

[fryec]

She doesn't know who my wife is. But she discovered my info when I sent money (rookie mistake).

I don't have a problem coming clean if that's what needs to happen.

[Wile E Coyote]

You sent money like from a cash app that has your personal info on it? Always pay cash to hookers, it is untraceable.

[Guest083119]

Come on guys, this isn't his fault. She's committing a felony that is seen as the same as robbery in most ways according to the law. It just lacks the threat of immediate physical danger.

IMHO, don't tell your wife anything unless something happens. But you need to scare the bejeezus out of her and get your point across ASAP. String her along if you need time to get things in order.

Be sure to screen shot evidence. Tell her you need a little time to work stuff out. Get the lawyer I describe above and then strike. If she goes to your wife, she will be charged and your contacting a lawyer before will be VERY damning evidence. But I think you have a 90% of never hearing from her again if a lawyer contacts her officially.

[Joddxxx]

Why did you give your whole life story to this acquainted woman? You’ve been a member for a decade that you would/should know the rules. However, it just sounds strange and odd on the way you explained yourself. There’s more too this story that you’re not telling us.

[Joddxxx]

Here’s what you need to do in order to correct the problem. You can do this yourself or get an attorney and write up a cease and desist letter of harassment. Once the letter is written, then send it certified letter. I would get a PO Box as your home address to send the certified letter that way you are keeping it confidential. You’ll have to play a waiting game once the letter is sent, but you’ll get something in return by her texting, calling, or something.

[VeryClean]

Originally Posted by fryec

She doesn't know who my wife is. But she discovered my info when I sent money (rookie mistake).

I don't have a problem coming clean if that's what needs to happen.

Don't beat yourself up about it, fryec. We all make mistakes and it's easy to criticize others (and ourselves) once the mistake has been done.

Don't let this stress you out or damage your health. If you do, then you're letting the blackmailer win. Do whatever you have to do to rectify the situation but make sure you remain calm & relaxed. Eat healthy, exercise, sleep, and don't drink too much as a way of dealing with the anxiety.

[fryec]

I didn't share anything other than my name. I did use a cashapp and that was very stupid on my part. The problem is I'm in the public eye so simply googling my name will bring up a shitload of rl info on me.