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Car Man 77 · 10-20-2011, 08:19 AM

I'm was just wondering what's everyone's thoughts on providers having significant others. For some people it might work. For others I think it might cause complications in their relationship. How many guys can actually be ok with their SO being a provider. If your ok with it would you want her to spare the details or tell you everything she does. I just want to know everyone's thoughts on this. My friend who is also a provider asked me.

Outdoorsman · 10-20-2011, 08:31 AM

I can only speak for myself... no way, I cannot have my SO out banging other guys, just me. I do not run around on my SO's and I expect the same from her. I am a monogamous guy when in a relationship.

I think most providers look at their providing as a job and source of income. No emotions and no feelings and no truth to the encounter. In fact we all know it is a job. I enjoy sex and in a relationship that sexual play is intensified many fold for me and it has to be for her as well or I wll not stay around. If my SO is banging 4 guys that day and I come home from work the last thing she wants is sex, I would assume, and yes this would cause strife and problems. Our sexual escpades would become more like additional work to her and it would strain the realtionship, I think.

In my mind it is not different because she is paid for it, a relationship to me is a sacred thing and needs to cultivated and nourished or it will die. Part of that cultivation is monogamy for me.I am not a very jealous person so do not think that would effect me, but if my SO was out banging other guys, I would certainly be out banging other ladies and eventually that would cause strife as well. I know people on here are married and it works fine for them and I appreciate that, just would not work for me.

missroxie · 10-20-2011, 08:51 AM

In my experience, it hasn't worked.

A big problem I've had is that I wanted to do my thing weekend nites, but that's when most people do their dating. So it has been hard for me to even get relationships off the ground. Guys would think I was too busy to spend time with them and would feel neglected.

One guy accused me of sleeping with other men- which was true-and he was none too pleased. Another guy thought I was a stripper, and he told me flat out he didn't deal with that "kind of woman."

A guy I actually met on a call admitted that he was jealous even though he obviously knew what I was doing.

Most people aren't going to like it if you skip time with them to sleep with someone else.

charlestudor2005 · 10-20-2011, 08:52 AM

There are several providers out there with husbands/sos. Some have been in that relationship for some time. So, yes, it can work.

I think it depends largely on the couple. Those who have a good base and are open in the relationship, going both ways, can make it work.

IDT I could be in such a relationship, but I think there is sufficient evidence out there to say that it can work.

Sweet N Little · 10-20-2011, 09:09 AM

To each his/her own and more power to them... but there's no way in hell I could do it if it's "love".

missroxie · 10-20-2011, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I think it depends largely on the couple. Those who have a good base and are open in the relationship, going both ways, can make it work.

.

I agree. I think it could with if the couple has a good base.

Naomi4u · 10-20-2011, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missroxie

I know a guy who actually likes what I do. He even helps me out. But he's a minority in my experience.

No offense but does he get free/discounted sex? Just curious.

I personally think it could work. I think both parties would have to be honest with each other. I think both parties would have to understand that this world is all fantasy. Joe will have to understand that betty can't walk around the house in hooker heels all day. Joe would have to understand that this is a job and that Betty would most likely not be involved in this world if money weren't involved. One of my best friends in Chicago is currently dating one of her clients and they are very very happy. They do not live together, he is not her assistant - He actually makes way more money than she could ever make providing.

Now I do not A LOT of providers that have boyfriend/husbands that USE them for their money. I know several right here on eccie but of course that is another thread and a forbidden subject in itself.

Abe Normal · 10-20-2011, 09:33 AM

I have found that most of the SO's of providers are lazy ass SOB's using the lady's earnings as a means for self support and to keep up their addictions. They don't care that their women are screwing other guys because they don't care about the lady period !

I've run into way too many of these controling bastards, so now I do my research. If I get even a hint that the lady is supporting some fucktard who says he loves her, I move on.

Independent means INDEPENDENT in my book....not DEPENDENT

Guest120615-3 · 10-20-2011, 09:57 AM

The dynamics of any relationship are quite difficult to maintain regardless of occupation. There are numerous other professions that can put an emotional strain on a couple such as cops, firemen, doctors, corporate executives, etc. A woman serving as a provider is no different than these other professions in the fact that she sacrifices some of herself to serve her clientele. In her case, it's her body and possibly her safety.

I believe that a SO as a provider would indeed be possible if it's the right person. It's a matter of reserving the proper understanding, acceptance, and honesty for that special person for a successful relationship. The hobby provides unique opportunities for unconventional meetings but we are all real people at the end of the day.

We shouldn't always assume. Frankly, a woman might have more difficulty with my occupation than I would of hers.

missroxie · 10-20-2011, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

No offense but does he get free/discounted sex? Just curious.

Yes

London Rayne · 10-20-2011, 12:07 PM

It can and has worked for many...dynamics and what they consider to be true love has everything to do with it. I personally would never date a man who was having casual sex with tons of women...nor would I do that if I were in love. When I am in a relationship I want to enjoy sex without the same constraints I have to exercise here...why would I put myself at even more risk? I doubt people with SOs are using condoms with them, and I would not either. If we were both still screwing other people, I would be quite afraid to go bare with my SO though. I don't put my trust in any other person to that extent...people make mistakes all the time!

What happens if he gets another women pregnant? That's the part of it that really boggles my mind. The whole point is the couple claims that they are the only ones for each other and it's "just sex" with these other people, but what if someone gets pregnant and keeps the baby? Then the random woman is no longer "just sex" but the mother of his child. That's gotta sting.

Would never work for me, and this topic has been discussed numerous times....perhaps another sticky?

Shayla · 10-20-2011, 12:19 PM

In certain situtations I'm sure it could work.
However, I am not even the slightest bit interested in being in a committed relationship while I am a hooker.
I wouldn't want him to be "ok" with me fucking guys for money all day. Outside of the hooker world, I prefer a more conservative lifestyle and to me, having a SO that was ok with this shit just wouldn't cut it for me.

catnipdipper · 10-20-2011, 12:20 PM

A lot of this assumes that both parties would not be monogamous.
I think a relationship is possible between one provider and a S/O.

The older(I prefer mature) I get the less it all seems to matter. It is a business and if recognized for that and accepted as a person's job or career then that is what it is.

For most of my life the idea would have been ludicrous for me to consider. I think a wise person as he lives and learns can break through false paradigms and find new ways to see and enjoy life.

I no longer believe in love and in fact think it is destructive. I do accept short periods of extreme like especially as the bar is closing.

London Rayne · 10-20-2011, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shayla

In certain situtations I'm sure it could work.
However, I am not even the slightest bit interested in being in a committed relationship while I am a hooker.
I wouldn't want him to be "ok" with me fucking guys for money all day. Outside of the hooker world, I prefer a more conservative lifestyle and to me, having a SO that was ok with this shit just wouldn't cut it for me.

Guest120615-3 · 10-20-2011, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shayla

having a SO that was ok with this shit just wouldn't cut it for me.

Wouldn't the guy then be the judgmental type? You could never be 100% honest about your past/current profession.

Is that the necessary evil for a provider to hide their occupation for the sake of a relationship?