"Safe Sex": More Than Just Health

[ICU 812]

In this day and age, using a condom is more important than ever.

Sure, there are those pesky STDs and all that, but the risk of an unwanted pregnancy looms ever larger. And it may only be unwanted by you, the hobbyist. A provider offering you the bare back experience may actually want to conceive and carry to term.

Even if she doesn't want to involve you, even if you never see her again, you could be involved later on inadvertently.

Suppose it is now years later. You are on a positive life path with a good job, loving wife and kids going to soccer etc . . .and you are contacted by some young adult looking for their father. You can stammer and deny all you want, but if you have ever used "Ancestry.com" or some other genealogy website, you are stuck with a lot of explaining to do.

Now, it could all work out well. If I were writing the screen play for a rom-com it would all be fine in the end. But, how many ways could it end badly in real life?

USE A CONDOM!

[Unique_Carpenter]

Btw, some of the genealogy sites do have an option of "setting your family tree" to private.

But ICU does have a point. the web (and youtube) have hundreds of how to instructions to help folks become detectives.
Commonly used by kids that were adopted, other parentless kids, and, of course, LEO.

That said, did everyone catch ICU's not stated point about possible child support?

As for adoption, FYI, some states allow birth parents an option to mark a kids adoption records for release once kid gets to a certain age (instead of folks having to go to court).

Last, it's helpful to have folks that specialize in different areas of law on your team.
This morning was a rare occasion that I picked up the breakfast club tab.
Just need to figure out to get ICU to pay it cause he started this.

[GhostRiderYYZ]

Originally Posted by ICU 812

In this day and age, using a condom is more important than ever.

Sure, there are those pesky STDs and all that, but the risk of an unwanted pregnancy looms ever larger. And it may only be unwanted by you, the hobbyist. A provider offering you the bare back experience may actually want to conceive and carry to term.

Even if she doesn't want to involve you, even if you never see her again, you could be involved later on inadvertently.

Suppose it is now years later. You are on a positive life path with a good job, loving wife and kids going to soccer etc . . .and you are contacted by some young adult looking for their father. You can stammer and deny all you want, but if you have ever used "Ancestry.com" or some other genealogy website, you are stuck with a lot of explaining to do.

Now, it could all work out well. If I were writing the screen play for a rom-com it would all be fine in the end. But, how many ways could it end badly in real life?

USE A CONDOM!

Best advice to avoid the contact is use a burner phone. When you are settled down, no longer in the hobby you shut off that phone number and any email account you have associated with the hobby, purge your accounts from sites like this one.

[ICU 812]

I guess what I am saying is that one might quite accidentally run across a "cousin" or closer relative via a genealogy site.

Suppose an adult who was either adopted or raised by a single mother is now looking on a genealogy site and finds a DNA 0match . . .to you.. In the. old days, denial was possible and the available blood typing tests were at best suggestive but not solid proof.

Now you are caught out in paternity that will stand up in court . . .divorce court. This actually happened back when genealogy and DNA testing were a new thing, in my extended family when more thane one such DNA match turned up for an Uncle. Both he and his wife had passed away some years earlier . . . .but whan awkwarrd a surprise for my surviving adult cousins!

[GhostRiderYYZ]

Depends on the age of that child. If the child is 18 or older and find out you are the father there is nothing monetarily they can do. They might try to seek you out & if they do you can either get to know them, or tell them to F#!^ off, this could include a restraining order.

I just checked & ALL states participate in the following:

all U.S. states are required to enforce child support laws with other states through the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act (UIFSA) and the Full Faith and Credit for Child Support Orders Act

Which means either get a vasectomy, use condoms, masturbate or pray big pharma comes out with a birth control (I have *ALWAYS* hated that term, it should be "Pregnancy Prevention") pill for men that lowers your sperm count to either zero or 1%.

Unless you can stay unlocatable for 18 years aka on the run.

[MarcellusWalluz]

Celibacy is the best choice

[GhostRiderYYZ]

Originally Posted by MarcellusWalluz

Celibacy is the best choice

That or those life size weighted sex dolls fashioned in the image of your favorite porn star.

The cost of things probably exceeds some hobbyist' 1 year budget but the advantage is its there when you want. Course there is maintenance / cleaning.

Same with Fleshlights.

[Jacuzzme]

I so confused. How could someone or some website match some hoe’s kid’s dna to you without you giving a dna sample to begin with.

[Unique_Carpenter]

Through family tracing.
If anyone, including 2nd cousins, has been sampled, the tracing/tracking will be very close. Once a family cluster is identified, just a bit of research on that cluster will shortly become successful. Btw, successful enough for a family law judge to order a direct sample.

See my above post. Folks I split bar and breakfast tabs include attys.

[ICU 812]

Originally Posted by Jacuzzme

I so confused. How could someone or some website match some hoe’s kid’s dna to you without you giving a dna sample to begin with.

Anyone who has been in the military during the past several decades has given a DNA sample.I don't know to what extent that is available outside of the service.

An one who has ever been incarcerated may have a DNA record on file somewhere.

But the most probable avenue of Gotcha:
Anyone who has participated in an online genealogy search may have sent in a DNA sample . . .and it doesn't have to bar YOU. Any relative can start the chain that connects you to a youthful indiscretion or other oops.

And it might just be someone just looking for their lost family.

So, guys . . .keep it covered!

[GhostRiderYYZ]

Originally Posted by ICU 812

Anyone who has been in the military during the past several decades has given a DNA sample.I don't know to what extent that is available outside of the service.

An one who has ever been incarcerated may have a DNA record on file somewhere.

But the most probable avenue of Gotcha:
Anyone who has participated in an online genealogy search may have sent in a DNA sample . . .and it doesn't have to bar YOU. Any relative can start the chain that connects you to a youthful indiscretion or other oops.

And it might just be someone just looking for their lost family.

So, guys . . .keep it covered!

The Military DNA database is used ONLY for identification of dead military personnel.

I asked the great Wise Ass this question:

"Can Ancestry DNA databases be used by law"

Answer:
"Yes, law enforcement can use ancestry DNA databases, but with significant limitations. They cannot directly access databases like AncestryDNA or 23andMe without a warrant, and these companies require customers to opt-in to sharing data with law enforcement. However, police can use public, open-source databases, or obtain warrants for private databases to identify suspects through genetic genealogy, especially for violent crimes and identifying remains. States like Maryland and Montana have passed laws regulating these searches to protect privacy. "

So there are some handbrakes applied to some lady who gets knocked up & claims you are the father.

[Fbillings1111]

OP did this happen to you? I feel like there are so many way around this…appreciate you bringing up ancestry.com, very valid point. But if you aren’t in these databases and use a burner there is no way to find anything out.

[KCFalcon77]

Originally Posted by Fbillings1111

OP did this happen to you? I feel like there are so many way around this…appreciate you bringing up ancestry.com, very valid point. But if you aren’t in these databases and use a burner there is no way to find anything out.

[thebodyman10]

Watch to the end .

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bsPm_-DmZzo

[ICU 812]

Originally Posted by Fbillings1111

OP did this happen to you? I feel like there are so many way around this…appreciate you bringing up ancestry.com, very valid point. But if you aren’t in these databases and use a burner there is no way to find anything out.

NO.

Some time around 2010 I had an encounter with a provider at "Junior'sw" old Latin Relaxation studio set up. I wrote a review at the time and I think it is still up. But I left out something.

Junior ran a low-end budget operation. The total for an hour was $140 to $160 and I don't know what part of that the girls got. As I often did, I tipped her $40 in advance.

She may have misunderstood this and told mew she couldn't find a condom. At that time, this had never happened to me and it set me back for a few seconds. In short order, I decided that bare-back was not the right thing to do and there were more than one reason:

First of all the STD thing.

But the second reason was the deal breaker. Suppose she actually wanted to become pregnant and have the baby? I did not want any child of mine to grow up in such a disadvantaged life path. And that was what totally put me off of any "FreeWillie" action.

I told her to find one or I would walk out . . .and she did then we did.

he genealogy thing actually happened to my Uncle. When the DNA based genealogy sites came online, two adults came looking for him, separately and a year or so apart. He had passed away, but it was awkward for my cousins.