Thoughts on dating a client? Or visversa, dated a provider?

[imperialTX]

A provider I used to love seeing and rocked my world got snatched up and got married during her six month visit in Dallas. She was a hot thing.

There are several providers that make me want to get down on one knee too. But how do you even go about asking them out.

[EdrienneCole]

If you have enough common interests as human beings and that indefinable spark, then things will naturally flow in that direction. If you're not noticing her 'flowing'(mentally/emotionally) in your direction in and out of session, then she's not feeling "it".

If you think she is 'flowing' in your direction but you're not sure, just make yourself available (and intriguing) OTC. Letting her know you're checking out something you have a mutual interest in (art exhibit, concert/DJ, restaurant, play, etc) and leave it open ended whether she wants to tag along with zero expectations.... and then HAVE ZERO EXPECTATIONS while leaving no possibility of a yes or no altering whatever good thing you've currently got going on.��

[TinMan]

You should start by renting a car for her.

[mrredcat43]

Originally Posted by TinMan

You should start by renting a car for her.

Heh!

[SnackyChan]

It's best to keep it transactional. That's the whole point of hobbying. If you're falling in love, you're doing it wrong.

And you have SEVERAL providers who you've considered exchanging wedding vows with?? Seems like you develop a crush at the rate of a teenage girl. Seriously, unless you have a particular fetish for escorts or chicks who bang random dudes, get out and meet some chicks irl.

With all that in mind, I'll play along... Let's say there's a provider who is one in a million, your ideal personality and looks. Before you even consider "asking her out", consider that her work involves selling the IOP. She's mastered the art of faking orgasms with mongers (with me they're always real tho, of course), and you're paying for that experience. How would you even be able to tell what her genuine feelings are for you? I would say start there.

[Sir Lancehernot]

I was fortunate enough to have a provider once email me on a Saturday night, asking if I wanted to go dancing. With a little advance notice (well, a few weeks worth of lessons, too), I'd've had at least a shot at making that happen. Damn.


I've had a few appointments around mealtimes and said, "I'm hungry. Where's there to eat around here? Would you like to join me?" A surprising (that is, small but non-zero) number of times, it worked. Nothing worthy of dropping on a knee ever happened, but I was happy with just being able to spend some social time outside of the handful of people who were my personal touchpoints.


To SnackyCHan's point, without much of a life, I built one around someone for four years, only to fund out I had invested a lot of money and all of my emotions in a set of lies for four years. I never suspected and never saw the end coming.Manipulation for financial gain or emotional satisfaction is always a possibility, whether she's a provider or a student.

[Anthonylewis50]

Ummm.... what you are thinking about, just isn't possible. She'll never see you as anything more than a john. Deep down, you'll never see her as anything more than a provider. If you want a girlfriend, go to the library. This is not the place to find love
I occasionally see provider dating profiles on civilian sites. I hope they find love. But they don't post dating profiles here. They post those profiles on civilian sites and on civilian contexts. You can't put toothpaste back in a tube.

[Joddxxx]

I’ve met a lot of providers and I’ve read several providers looking for a man to take care of them. Last year, Winter from RR asked if I was married, had a girlfriend, or single? She was looking for a boyfriend. Now, she hooked up with one.

[SnackyChan]

Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

I was fortunate enough to have a provider once email me on a Saturday night, asking if I wanted to go dancing. With a little advance notice (well, a few weeks worth of lessons, too), I'd've had at least a shot at making that happen. Damn.

I've had a few appointments around mealtimes and said, "I'm hungry. Where's there to eat around here? Would you like to join me?" A surprising (that is, small but non-zero) number of times, it worked. Nothing worthy of dropping on a knee ever happened, but I was happy with just being able to spend some social time outside of the handful of people who were my personal touchpoints.

Yea, it's always a good feeling when a provider wants to spend time with you "off the clock". I try not to read into it too much. Providers are people too, and they sometimes get bored, want a break from the grind, or simply just want company for a bit.

Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

To SnackyCHan's point, without much of a life, I built one around someone for four years, only to fund out I had invested a lot of money and all of my emotions in a set of lies for four years. I never suspected and never saw the end coming.Manipulation for financial gain or emotional satisfaction is always a possibility, whether she's a provider or a student.

4yr marriage? It sucks to find out the person you invested emotions and shared everything with is not the person you fell in love with. Sorry to hear that. I've met some of the most geniune, kind-hearted ladies who are providers. I've also met some of the most money grubbing manipulators in the hobby. It's no different than any other walks of life.

To the OP, the difficult part with providers is that it's literally their job to make you feel amazing for the time that you purchased. Don't fall into simpy behavior and start believing that this is real. She's doing precisely what you paid her to do, and she's doing the same for a bunch of her other regulars as well. More often that not if you start being clingy and start asking her out on real dates and stuff, you will ruin the good thing you have going with her and eventually she will block your number. Don't make it weird!

And on the rare chance that a provider actually wants to be with you, SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW in no uncertain terms. That's when you have the green light.

[DFW_Ladies_Man]

I've never heard of that turning out well. I know providers who have gotten married to men they met outside the hobby. However, marrying / dating a client always turned into a disaster.

I have gotten really close to a few ladies I know....hell we even talked about dating etc. But all that baggage they got...whew!! (personal, mental, emotional). I just couldn't do it. My standard for dating are way up there for someone I'm going to invest in spending my personal time with and welcome into my home.

Look at it like this...If you met that lady out in public, and started hearing all the shit she was or had been through, would you deal with that in your RW dating experience? Think back on some of the stories ladies have told you over the years about their personal life as a reference.

I'm just thinking about some of the ladies I have seen in the past that were fine as hell but literally that was all they had was looks. Sex was great and all but they couldn't hold a legal job, were always broke, made terrible decisions, used too many drugs, couldn't take care of a house hold, and multiple baby daddy's (hobby babies). To be fair some of the ladies I have seen are so deep in the hobby the aspect of a relationship isn't something they can comprehend. One girl told me she can't remember the last time she didn't have sex for money.

Never date anyone you gotta pay to see.

[Anthonylewis50]

There was a provider I really liked who got married. She's very happy now and we still text every once in awhile. I think there's mutual affection and respect. Not sure I'd call us friends, but we like each other, respect each other, and enjoy each other's company. I think that's as close as you can get in the hobby. Anything closer...both ladies and men have to find that at the grocery store or on bumble. I can definitely see ladies wanting to be married and do real dating. I'd be curious about how ladies in the hobby work out dating civilian guys. That might be a good thread on its own

[cupcak]

LMAO TinMan YES absolutely rent her a car first

[LadyAnastasia]

I will give my brutal input.

DO NOT DO IT
have a sugarship, have a fuck-ship but never a relationship in the hobby. I had a 5 year relationship with a hobbyiest and you can imagine the arguments with the income difference and schedule.

I moved away to amarillo out of love.... that was dumb.
Now Im happy getting dicked down, paying my own bills and sleeping in the middle of the bed.

[TinMan]

I didn’t give y’all enough credit for willingness to offer honest feedback. Well done, people.

I’ve never fallen into this trap, although there have been a few that I came awfully close. My years in this hobby have taught me that it is extremely rare that such relationships work out, and that “success” is usually measured by the degree of emotional and financial damage suffered by each party.

In short, I don’t think it is worth the risk, as tempting as it may be.

[Sherry of DFW]

snacky Chan reply was the TRUTH----