In a Serious Relationship With an ASP? Guys, Could You Handle It?

[Advocate]

Ok my experience with this. First, let me say that I only hobby when I am between girlfriends, never when I am attached. I get with the occasional provider when I am single because it keeps me from getting into a relationship with someone with whom I know I would not be a good long-term fit just because I am lonely or so that I can have sex.

So I met a local provider who has since mostly moved on to a different city. We hit it off in bed and personally, and she called and asked me if I would like to go see a movie. This started a couple of months of us dating, calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. I was fine with what she did, although her expectation based on previous experience was that I would eventually tire of it and want her to quit. It turns out that she did not care for what she does for a living, but it was easier than actually having a normal job: better hours and pay than anything else she could do without any degree or special skills. What she was shooting for was one rich client who would simply pay for her to be off of the market, or ideally, someone serious who was not a client who would pay her way and let he not work again. I had no problem with her escorting, but I would not have minded if she had quit and done something else either. What I was not going to do was offer to support someone that I had just met, although I did help her out on a few occasions, supposed loans for which I doubt I will ever be repaid. So as long as she did her job, she was going to be fundamentally unhappy, I cannot be in a relationship with a woman who has something in her life that makes her unhappy and is not going to change any time soon because she is unwilling to do anything about it, whether that issue is her weight, her job, etc.

So could it work? Maybe. If she truly enjoys what she does or is willing to take a straight job if she does not, then it could work. But I am cannot be the reason for that change. Sure, if I am in a relationship with a woman and she wants to have my child and make a life with me, then I would be willing to devote all of my financial resources towards our family. But now the situation is no different than it is with any other woman. Being a provider would have to be incidental to everything else in one of the two ways that I describe above.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by Advocate

Ok my experience with this. First, let me say that I only hobby when I am between girlfriends, never when I am attached. I get with the occasional provider when I am single because it keeps me from getting into a relationship with someone with whom I know I would not be a good long-term fit just because I am lonely or so that I can have sex.

So I met a local provider who has since mostly moved on to a different city. We hit it off in bed and personally, and she called and asked me if I would like to go see a movie. This started a couple of months of us dating, calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. I was fine with what she did, although her expectation based on previous experience was that I would eventually tire of it and want her to quit. It turns out that she did not care for what she does for a living, but it was easier than actually having a normal job: better hours and pay than anything else she could do without any degree or special skills. What she was shooting for was one rich client who would simply pay for her to be off of the market, or ideally, someone serious who was not a client who would pay her way and let he not work again. I had no problem with her escorting, but I would not have minded if she had quit and done something else either. What I was not going to do was offer to support someone that I had just met, although I did help her out on a few occasions, supposed loans for which I doubt I will ever be repaid. So as long as she did her job, she was going to be fundamentally unhappy, I cannot be in a relationship with a woman who has something in her life that makes her unhappy and is not going to change any time soon because she is unwilling to do anything about it, whether that issue is her weight, her job, etc.

So could it work? Maybe. If she truly enjoys what she does or is willing to take a straight job if she does not, then it could work. But I am cannot be the reason for that change. Sure, if I am in a relationship with a woman and she wants to have my child and make a life with me, then I would be willing to devote all of my financial resources towards our family. But now the situation is no different than it is with any other woman. Being a provider would have to be incidental to everything else in one of the two ways that I describe above.

I think you mention a couple important points. Either BOTH of them have to be comfortable with her line of work--and often she is the one most uncomfortable doing it while in a relationship. Or they have to find an alternate career path for her. Making that change often requires some interrim support, and in those cases it becomes one piece of the tradespace to be discussed.

I'm supporting one lady in this transition phase so she can go back to school and start the career she wants to have. We've talked about it--what are the conditions; what's a loan, what's not; where it may or may not lead when she's done. Working is only one part of the equation, but a very big part.

[acp5762]

Originally Posted by London Rayne

Ok when did this turn into a pimp thread? I am sorry, but just because a guy is dating a provider does not make him a pimp...UNLESS he is in fact promoting her, telling guys in the hobby to go see her, how supposedly good she is, on and on. That is still not exactly pimping if he is not getting any of the money, but I do think I would feel like nothing but a dish rag if a guy I was dating did that to me.

If a guy has a GF who does this and he has a job, he is not her pimp. A pimp is PAID a percent of what the escort makes. 2 people sharing bills and both doing their part, is not what I would consider a pimped situation, but that's just me.

No, that certainly wouldn't be the true definition of a pimp.

[acp5762]

Originally Posted by PokerMan

This is sadly a world in which people do what they must to earn a living. I have met many ladies that would be very good in other professions if given the opportunity. These ladies would be successful because they are honest, smart, loyal, and hardworking. If there was a way to harness this workforce, the world would be a better place. Thank You ladies for your time, kindness, and loving you give us.
The Provider that spends time with you today may be the Doctor who saves your life, the teacher who teaches your kid, or the lawyer who gets you out of jail. It CAN happen1
Thanks Again LADIES for all you do!

That certainly can happen. Many of these girls engage in escorting only for a short period of time. They have their sights set on something else for their future. Many of them achieve it. I've known one. She was an Instrument Tech, somehow she was laid off. She escorted for about 7 or 8 Months while she was in school for Lab Tech. Now she works in a Medical clinic in the Blood Lab.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by acp5762

That certainly can happen. Many of these girls engage in escorting only for a short period of time. They have their sights set on something else for their future. Many of them achieve it. I've known one. She was an Instrument Tech, somehow she was laid off. She escorted for about 7 or 8 Months while she was in school for Lab Tech. Now she works in a Medical clinic in the Blood Lab.

There are many such stories, and one of the most satisfying things to me is getting an invitation to a lady's graduation--whether she continues working or not .

[PERVERTed]

i put some further thought into the subject and i'm going to do a 180 and say in my hypothetical that I could very likely not be in a serious relationship with an ASP who was continuing to provide.

The deal breaker is the fear for the ASP's physical safety. That kind of fear and paranoia is not something I could deal with at all.

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by PERVERTed84

What is so immoral about p4p?

Its just sex.

Or is sex only moral when it is between two people who are in love?

Morals are relative to the time and region, constantly in flux.

The only sex act that is inherantly immoral is rape.

Rape is NOT sex, it is a form of Violence.

[Advocate]

Originally Posted by PERVERTed84

What is so immoral about p4p?

Its just sex.

Or is sex only moral when it is between two people who are in love?

Morals are relative to the time and region, constantly in flux.

The only sex act that is inherantly immoral is rape.

I can think of several others: anything having to do with someone underage, or when one person is not consenting. such as indecent exposure, public lewdness, and lesser forms if coercion than rape, such as molestation.

[acp5762]

Originally Posted by Still Looking

Rape is NOT sex, it is a form of Violence.

Very Good.

[PhantomofTheOpera]

Originally Posted by Naughty Destiny

Hello! I hope everybody is doing fantastic today.

My question pertains to the guys here. Guys, would you be able to handle a serious relationship with an ASP? Why or why not? Would it bother you to know that your significant other was in this line of work?

Done it and handled it just fine but will not repeat. The one I was involved with had issues... many issues that were not discovered until far too late. Due to the way she handled herself, particularly at the end, I would not do it again with a girl who is active as a provider. Crazy in the sheets is one thing but crazy in the head.... uh-huh, nope. Won't let that happen again no matter who the chick is or how good she thinks she is.

Now were I to meet a former provider in the real world.... yeppers, I would let things progress. I have already done that with a couple of ex-providers and we are really good friends now.

[PERVERTed]

Advocate, I would define molestation as rape because isn't it ALWAYS rape when a person is not consenting? In the case of minors, they do not have the right to consent and nor do animals.

Personally, I would still classify rape as a sex act. Yes, it is abhorrently violent and i'm not trying to imply that rape is "just sex". No one is promoting rape or trying to minimize its severity so that's all I will say on the matter.

[acp5762]

Originally Posted by DallasRain

ditto on the different strokes point!

I have been in a relationship which is an "open" one for over 30 years and have successfully merged my two lifes

Well I don't doubt you've been in an open relationship, but 30 years. I thought you were only 40.

[DallasRain]

Originally Posted by acp5762

Well I don't doubt you've been in an open relationship, but 30 years. I thought you were only 40.

only 40--lol--I wish!!! {I am actually 47}


Let me clarify..what I meant to say was theat i have been in a stable relationship with the same person for 30 years! And in an open relationships for over 22 years.

what we have works great for us!

[burkalini]

There's alot of guys in an open relationship on Eccie. They just happen to forget to tell their SO.

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by PERVERTed84

Advocate, I would define molestation as rape because isn't it ALWAYS rape when a person is not consenting? In the case of minors, they do not have the right to consent and nor do animals.

Personally, I would still classify rape as a sex act. Yes, it is abhorrently violent and i'm not trying to imply that rape is "just sex". No one is promoting rape or trying to minimize its severity so that's all I will say on the matter.

No argument from me. I agree with you. People way smarter than me have done significant studies on the subject.