Newbie Nightmare

[Texasquest]

Torre I agree it's absolute BS what that guy did. And Mr Duke if it had been a so called gentleman that this happened too He would be screaming NCNS from the highest mountaintop and you would right there with him. Wasting anyone's time like this should be considered an absolute no no. Whether it be a provider or a gentlemen. Part of the problem is people like you defending his actions. Why don't you instead change hats and instruct the newb in proper etiquette. Instead of getting on your highhorse and telling Torre basically " oh well" I for one hope. She blasts his name On every no see list available. Maybe if people are held accountable maybe they will change their ways. We as gents can hold the gals accountable by the use of our wallets. They don't have that ability. But putting NCNS and time wasters on blast is one tool they can use. Before you get all condescending Mr Duke this is my opinion along with others. Same as what you posted is no more than your opinion. I do hope you posted that as a fellow hobbits and wasn't your official Mod hat at the time.

[Guest032213]

sorry this happened to you sweety ! I agree to the bs ass NC/NS I for one been using all revenues to blast asshats as well - Gotta be carefullllllllllll.......

[Fritz52]

Sorry to hear about your frustrating experience.

I tell ladies that if I do not show, and they get no call or text, then there's an excellent chance I'm probably dead, or otherwise unconscious.

In the pre-cell phone era, I did fail to make an appointment due to a big smash-up on LBJ. I did arrive at the location, but had missed her by about 1 minute, literally.

[str8.2.bbbj]

Yea, that sux. But if the guy had no hobby phone to give you, that was probably a red flag. He probably got that "first timers" feeling in his gut. My first time I almost threw up on the way to the door.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by Texasquest

Torre I agree it's absolute BS what that guy did. And Mr Duke if it had been a so called gentleman that this happened too He would be screaming NCNS from the highest mountaintop and you would right there with him. Wasting anyone's time like this should be considered an absolute no no. Whether it be a provider or a gentlemen. Part of the problem is people like you defending his actions. Why don't you instead change hats and instruct the newb in proper etiquette. Instead of getting on your highhorse and telling Torre basically " oh well" I for one hope. She blasts his name On every no see list available. Maybe if people are held accountable maybe they will change their ways. We as gents can hold the gals accountable by the use of our wallets. They don't have that ability. But putting NCNS and time wasters on blast is one tool they can use. Before you get all condescending Mr Duke this is my opinion along with others. Same as what you posted is no more than your opinion. I do hope you posted that as a fellow hobbits and wasn't your official Mod hat at the time.

Good grief. Getting no called and no showed in this business is an occupational hazard. I didn't see any "high horse" being mounted.

The guy had some work come up, didn't contact the lady as he should have, and he should be hung from the highest tree available?

Come on! I AM posting as a female escort and companion (no mod hat on at all) and I can sincerely share with everyone here that having someone not show up for an appointment, after getting completely ready for an encounter, is just one of the biggest pains that we have to deal with.

But it's certainly not the WORSE. I don't even consider it a nightmare. It's a nuisance. It costs, generally, us money especially if a lady has to get a hotel or a room rented.

The way that I'm seeing it, Duke called a spade a spade and just stated an opinion. Not sure why some feel that he should be hanged from the highest tree, either.

Torre, I'd like to invite you to participate in the InfoShare area that is for providers only. It's a great place to let your hair down and discuss situations that happen that well ... just aren't pleasant.

There's a lot of camaraderie there as well. I think that you'd like the area!

Back to topic, I'm sincerely sorry that you got NCNS'd. It happens. Brush yourself off and tomorrow's a new day. Right?

Best,
Elisabeth

[outoftheblue]

Well said Elizabeth. Stuff happens in business. All types of business. Do an after action report like the military, learn from what occured, and be better for it.

[Texasquest]

So even by your statement. It costs you maybe even the price if a room. Not to mention loss of time that may been spent on better endeavors.your post makes it seem that you to condone this. You are basically giving the gents a free ride to do this again. I don't want my time wasted much less squander away $$ on a room and have a NCNS. I believe it is a two way street. If we (the gents) don't want NCNS then we as gents should step out and make every effort to not do the same. The gent this thread is all about should have had the decency to let Torre know before appointment time that he couldn't make it. Not an hour after the fact. I don't know the particulars of his situation. But as is normal in the DFW area he was going to have to travel to the incall. So he most definantly knew before hand that he was not going to make it. Even if he was "rueful at work" as he said. It doesn't take much time to excuse himself to go the bathroom and fire off a quick text. But he didn't do that. That in some eyes is just plain disrespect. And for you and Duke to defend his actions as NO BIGGIE. Just Perpetuates the problem. Face it if is "acceptable" for the guys to do this. Then why would it not be acceptable for the lady's to do it.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by outoftheblue

Well said Elizabeth. Stuff happens in business. All types of business. Do an after action report like the military, learn from what occured, and be better for it.

Thanks! Like all businesses, there are complete hassles and annoyances that happen all of the time. I do know that what works for me is that I require a phone call before meeting any potential appointment.

Does that mean that I never have a ncns? It still happens on rare occasions.

But there is SO MUCH that you can glean from a person by speaking to him (or her) for just a few moments. I've actually suggested to potential clients, after speaking with them, that I didn't think that we would be a good match.

Or ... I've spoken to someone and thought the complete opposite while grinning in anticipation.

Everyone have a great evening (what's left of it!)!

[Guest122922]

Elisabeth.....Gentlemen....let 's not cause a ruckuss over this!
EW......I've always respected you and what you've posted over the years. You are precious and many many times offer great advice.
TQ - omg.....what a stellar gentleman you are. Thank you for stepping up to the plate and saying it like it is !!! Love, Love !!

SIMPLE POINT IS: I gave a Newbie a chance.....and regretted it.

Have I encountered NCNS before? Well HELL yes. Funny thing is....it happened with a well established hobbyist. Now....that being said....does that make it better? Hmmm...in some ways yes. Veterans usually at some point will come through with a plausable reason why the no show. OR....will let me know before hand when a "situation" arises. Eventually, we will hook up again at a future date.
This NEWBIE.....tho.....from the get go.....gave me reason to suspect wierdness. But I gave him a chance anyway. Yes, of course....my bad. Some days I can be forgiving, however this day....not so much as I had to rearrange my day to make this appointment.

WHY THIS POST? Perhaps I feel the need to post this for newbies out there saying......"get it together"! Get a clue what you are in for ......BEFORE you book!!

I should have seen the signs. Totally MY BAD..

Love to all,
Torre

[Duke of G]

Wow, Texasquest. You really read into my post in an amazing and creative way.

Originally Posted by Texasquest

And Mr Duke if it had been a so called gentleman that this happened too He would be screaming NCNS from the highest mountaintop and you would right there with him.

It wasn't a NC/NS. There was contact. I even said it was 'too little too late"..but it wasn't as if the parties did not communicate. So...no, I wouldn't be on some mountaintop. Frankly, I think posting about NC/NS in co-ed is mostly ineffective, because there are two sides to every story. I'm a skeptic and don't believe everything I read. Color me jaded. Ms Tames may be 100% in the right, but I'm sure the guy had some reason. Not a good enough one, for sure.

Originally Posted by Texasquest

Wasting anyone's time like this should be considered an absolute no no.Whether it be a provider or a gentlemen.

Funny...I said exactly the same thing: "EVERYONE should respect someone else's time, or risk the consequences of being labeled a bad hobbyist or provider."

Time wasting SUCKS. But it's far from the worst thing that happens between hobbyists and providers. Maybe I just have a sense of scale that doesn't align with yours. Or maybe the WK brigade is so keen to offer "I'm so sorry that happened to you" comments without much substance that any issue is a big deal. I dunno.

Originally Posted by Texasquest

Part of the problem is people like you defending his actions.

Where in my post, EXACTLY, did I "defend" the anonymous newbie? I did not say ONE positive word about his actions. I pointed out how it could be worse, but certainly don't feel that the guy was in the right. (based on the story we've heard so far.)

Originally Posted by Texasquest

Why don't you instead change hats and instruct the newb in proper etiquette.

Why? Because he's ANONYMOUS. We don't know who to instruct. And blanket generalizations like "don't waste people's time" is so empty as to be meaningless. If a guy don't have that common sense, no comment on this board will MAKE you respect others' time.

So no need to change hats. The "newbie at large" will learn a LOT more about the hobby reading things other than this provider rant post.

Originally Posted by Texasquest

Instead of getting on your highhorse and telling Torre basically " oh well"

I merely said, for an unscreened client..this could have been WAY worse. Wasting 2 hours is nothing compared to the alternatives. Can you not see that, or is it just your WK hat blinding you?

Originally Posted by Texasquest

I for one hope. She blasts his name On every no see list available. Maybe if people are held accountable maybe they will change their ways. We as gents can hold the gals accountable by the use of our wallets. They don't have that ability. But putting NCNS and time wasters on blast is one tool they can use.

I 100% agree. In FACT: naming him was the option I suggested. Blasting ALL newbies is not only worthless, it's counter-productive. This is NOT a "newbie" problem. It's an "asshole" problem. Making sweeping generalizations helps no one. It's merely done for the person speaking to get all righteous.

Originally Posted by Texasquest

Before you get all condescending Mr Duke this is my opinion along with others. Same as what you posted is no more than your opinion.

I'm sorry you think its condecending. Hell...that's EXACTLY the problem I had with the OP.

And if you read, you'll find you and I don't even differ on the topic or course of action. I just had a problem with the delivery. I don't think it helped squat. But that's just my opinion too.

Originally Posted by Texasquest

I do hope you posted that as a fellow hobbits and wasn't your official Mod hat at the time.

And as to my "mod hat" ...you can get the hell off that idea. If I'm posting as a staff member, or about some other site issue, it's pretty plain. This isn't about ECCIE policy, so why in the hell would you try and label this as a "mod" issue?

[Brenna James]

Damn Torre...that sux...and NOT literally! Same happened to me tonight...and the Guy had the balls to get mad because I had other appts scheduled and gave him open times I had to see him....but I've also had established guys here with ample reviews and a long time hobbyist on here (2+years) that have done this as well...and not even reply until the next day and say ooops sorry I missed our appt but I can be there in 30 minutes.....uummm there are other guys who truly want a good time and make good on their appt.... thanks for posting this...hopefully the newbies get a clue on what we go thru as providers ...its not ALWAYS peaches and creame!! Have a great night and thanks again!!

[Texasquest]

He very well may have had a Legit reason to cancel..But he should have canceled Before..Not an hour after the Fact...the excuse of being "caught up at work" may have been a legitimate reason.But if that was so he would have known well before the appointment time that he wasnt going to make it..im sorry but in this day and age it is too easy to let someone know he couldnt make it and either postpone or reschedule for another day..Im the first one to say " Stuff Happens" ..But that does not trump respect or common decency.Torre's time is as valuable as the gents..No more no less..

I never siad it was the WORST THING that could happen..but where do you draw the line?? IF you sweep things that amount to Common courtesey or mutual respect "Under the RUG"..and blow it off as No BIG DEAL...it tends to become accepted practices and erodes even further..Use the leak in the DAm analogy as an example....One little drip doesnt amount to much there are a lot worse things that can happen right??? But if the drip is swept under the rug as its NO BIGGIE..then it erodes even further and becomes a MAJOR leak..but since it was no Big deal to start with it is overlooked again and again untill it results in total Dam Failure. Where as if the Drip was plugged from the get-go there would be no Dam collapse and everyone downstream would have been spared..Now go back and see how many Guys in ML scream about NCNS all the time..they rake the Gals over the coal and want their heads on a spit..But a gal posts in Coed about the guys doing it and its met with apathy..and told WOrse things can happen..where does that give any incentive for it to stop on both sides??

[Guest070413]

It does happen to the best of them. If co-discussion becomes a place where both sides start to cry NCNS I am out. That will be the final topic crowding out everything else. Not that they shouldn't be shared. It should be... in a place where it makes sense and is a fluid information exchange. Placed in Co-ed it feels a bit like the network test interruptions that are forever interrupting a decent show, but I digress.

It is helpful to bring up the topic of common newbie mistakes and how to be the newbie most ladies would love to meet. If this was the main intent of this thread it is a good one. The intent seemed unclear. Belly aching on a situation to incite positive topic discussion can have this effect.

Regarding the incident you had. Confirmation calls are your friend! I also see the mention of 2 hours spent in communication. From my experience if they know they want to meet me for certain and have done ample research they usually get to the point of things quickly. Meeting face to face is their goal and the rest is merely details to meet the goal. If the goal seems muddied that is obviously a high stakes risk you are taking. As an experienced provider I am sure you already know all this. It does not make what he did acceptable but experience should have also told you this is somewhat avoidable.

About the comment of control. It might be better to leave the the Robert Greene, Sun Tzu and dare I say Machiavellian philosophy out of the hobby in general. We each have control over our own self. Your threats won't necessarily change his actions. Presenting as if there is a power/control struggle which they have already lost is essentially expecting defeatism and from it respect. Why not simply inform him that girls network and particular behavior can cause difficulties he may not be aware of. Since he is new he may in fact not know this.

The frustration and disappointment is understandable. Honestly, if he had no references and I made the rare exception to meet after more involved screening and this happened I don't know that I would reschedule with him. My magic 8 ball says "very doubtful".

[RFPD]

Let's get back to your smoldering smokiness!

[trynagetlaid]

A guy has to work a little later than expected, maybe a crisis came up, or his boss asked him to handle something before leaving, or an unexpected conference call came in, who knows?

Remember that money doesn't grow on trees; most hobbyists have to work for it. It's not all trust fund money that finances this hobby.

The guy is probably reading this and seriously thinking about taking up elk hunting, or buying an expensive bass boat.

Then what happens to that $500-$1000 a month that he was planning to spend on these lovely ladies? Duh...