Funny Cumshot Stories

[Zhivago52]

Hate to follow richard's story (ugh), but here goes.

I don't hobby unless I'm horney. And when I'm horney, there's usually a buildup. Facials are usually discussed beforehand, but on several occasions, the drenching was unexpected and surprised her. A couple of times, I was pleasantly surprised by her running to the mirror to see her pornstar face, and on one occasion, I was asked to photograph her.

Another issue is the angle....if she's lying down, there's a good chance you'll miss and splat all over the headboard, which is not good. I've learned to have her on her knees in front of me so she'll catch every spurt. Works best.

[Brooke Wilde]

Originally Posted by Karrine_Kream

Ive gotten shot in the eye with a massive load lol

I've heard cum in the eye burns like hell .... is that true?

[GlobeSpotter]

Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde

I've heard cum in the eye burns like hell .... is that true?

That's what I hear.....that's why you are supposed to catch it all in your mouth

[floyd burney]

I was getting it on with an old girlfriend on her parents new couch when I pulled out to come on her face at the same time her mom walked in the room...

[Karrine_Kream]

Originally Posted by GlobeSpotter

That's what I hear.....that's why you are supposed to catch it all in your mouth

A little but it was during a facial -he came so hard -bursting all over and squirt me smack in the eye.

[Guest062114-5]

Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde

I've heard cum in the eye burns like hell .... is that true?

Brooke, one time after a particularly fun party, I literally looked like a zombie with bloody eyes. It's stings a bit, but there's definitely a painful cumulative effect. Now I carry Visine.

[MOCHAakaMOCHA]

It was one of those i'm on my back and my head is hanging off the bed and the client mounting and throat/face-fucking me and he's talking dirty all "I'm about to cum, you're take it all, are you gonna it swallow all, yeah yeah" yada yada and I'm all smiles mouth open wide and he comes EVERYWHERE but my mouth. He came A LOT and it when it my eyes, rushed into my nostrils, some it got into my ears, my hair ..... it was awesome.
I was drowning in cum lol I screamed "oh my god, oh my god it's my nose can't breathe" and he's in between apologizing and laughing at the same time (dick). And I wear contacts so while it was hilarious that cum going into my eyes and my wearing contacts freaked me out ... I was halfway blind the rest of the date lol.

[The Squirtest]

Several years ago, a provider was giving me a BBBJ. We had been going at it for a while in every position. I almost came several times and I told her I wanted to cum between her titties. She gave me a BBBJ for several minutes until I was ready. I started to tittie fuck her and again I began to have trouble cumming. Then all of the sudden I blew. The leading edge of that hit her in the eye. She had a violent reaction and I started laughing. She got mad. I apologized, but it wasn't on purpose. Anyway, it was funny.

[Outthere]

Originally Posted by floyd burney

I was getting it on with an old girlfriend on her parents new couch when I pulled out to come on her face at the same time her mom walked in the room...

Pics or it never happened.

[H20]

One time when I was in a new relationship I had a girl finishing me off. On my back. She likes to watch the shot. Well it turned out to be a little more than anticipated I guess. As I am finishing I hear " OH FUCK!" and she runs off to the bathroom. Somehow I caught her dead to rights in the eye. After she washed it off she said it felt like her eye was burning. As she didn't have anything at the house and wasn't planning to stay over. We drove down to walmart around 2 in the am to get some saline to flush her eye out and soak the contacts. One eye was fine, the other was red. So I bought us some ice cream as well just for the hell of it. Lots of laughing about the story as she gave me her rendition of events. Later on in life she began wearing glasses or would get out of the way just in time. Always wear your ppe is the moral of the story I guess.

[GymRat]

A few years ago I was dating a crazy hot gal that was in her late thirties. She was a real estate agent, but spent hours every week in the gym and went to advanced spinning classes every weekday morning. Damn, I could stare at her body all day long! She was just recently divorced after being married to her high school sweetheart for 15 years. According to her, her husband was the classic "one minute" man. No matter how much she pleaded with him, he wouldn't do anything to step up his game. In addition, he never ate her pussy. Since he never performed for her, she never performed for him. As soon as we started dating, I couldn't wait to eat her pretty pussy. When you consider she had been deprived of oral for 15 years, let's just say she loved every minute of it. She immediately embraced returning the favor to me. She was a little worried about her skills at first, but from the very beginning she was just as good and creative as any woman I had ever been with. And she couldn't get enough of it. Once she took up dick sucking, she wanted to suck my dick every chance she got. For the first few months, she never took my load in her mouth. That never really bothered me, as long as I get a nut during head, I don't care where the cum goes. One day she announced to me that she wanted to take it in. I guess she was getting more comfortable with things and wanted to be a little adventurous that evening. Just the thought of her taking it in that night was so arousing, I blew an amazing load. Turns out it was way more than she anticipated, and she ended up spewing the load all over me. It was almost like how a fire breather spews a mist in the air. She spewed my spunk all over me! She was so embarrassed about her lack of control and apologized over and over again. I thought it was hilarious.