Friend or customer

[timesarechanging]

It might be a positive to attempt to qualify what "work" and "business" is intended to mean. Commercial sex workers have

Originally Posted by FireKitten

a personal, intimate, connected type of business,

more so than, say, a personal trainer (aka: a rent a friend) at a gym. Both are physical roles, both can get "friendly" without either party knowing what the other "really" thinks of one another. But sex work isn't nearly as intimate or physical as the role of a doctor or surgeon. For any of these types of jobs,

Originally Posted by Old-T

it is a very personal business it is not ALL business.

But it most certainly is JUST business. No matter how emotional that cancer diagnoses might be, or how meaningful your jizz in her mouth was. The professional still doesn't know you, or really care. Sex really doesn't deserve the significance most of society places on it. Sex workers are just like anyone else in the world.

A lot warnings and caution signs from some of the posters. Almost seems to imply that bad things, and the people to be wary of, are mainly in this particular niche of the world... What a sweet outlook on life. I wouldn't think the warnings would be necessary for an adult. Always be careful in whatever you do. Sex workers are normal people. Interact and get close at your own risk.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by timesarechanging

It might be a positive to attempt to qualify what "work" and "business" is intended to mean. Commercial sex workers have Quote:
Originally Posted by FireKitten
a personal, intimate, connected type of business,

more so than, say, a personal trainer (aka: a rent a friend) at a gym. Both are physical roles, both can get "friendly" without either party knowing what the other "really" thinks of one another. But sex work isn't nearly as intimate or physical as the role of a doctor or surgeon. For any of these types of jobs,
I think your example of a surgeon is a bit off. If I go to a surgeon I care that they are a good surgeon--I really don't care about their bedside manor or their intimate connection with my mind. In that regard they are just like a mechanic. If you limit to the more traditional--and hard to find--GP who sees generations of a family, I will spot you the statement. This from someone who comes from a very expensive medical family with 4 MDs among my immediate family, and far too many hours under Drs' care.
.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old-T
it is a very personal business it is not ALL business.

But it most certainly is JUST business. No matter how emotional that cancer diagnoses might be, or how meaningful your jizz in her mouth was. The professional still doesn't know you, or really care. Sex really doesn't deserve the significance most of society places on it. Sex workers are just like anyone else in the world.
Your final comment is the one that matters, and it contradicts your opening comment. They ARE just like anyone else as far as being "real people". There are good, bad, caring, callous, friendly, and isolated.

Over time I have become friends with the woman who cuts my hair. We occasionally go to lunch after a hair appointment, sometimes go to a basketball game together. The person who owns/operates the web site I freelance for, we occasionally go out for a beer together. One lawyer I deal with, when I am in his town we have dinner--at a restaurant or his house. In none of those cases do they pay me or I pay them. We have become--at some level--friends as well as business associates.

There is no difference with escorts. Most do not become my friends, but some do. We write about our lives, their kids, our aging parents, and our vacations. Some more, some less--most not at all. But no, you are very wrong that it is always JUST business. In the extreme, I have been to their weddings, funerals, graduations, and kids birthday parties. I have babysat, dog sat, and more. I have been invited over to dinners and taken to their work dinners. One has keys to my house, and I have keys to two ladies' homes. Some of these relationships go back almost 20 years now--long after some of them have truly retired from this line of work.

Friendly encounters should be--in my opinion--the norm. Real friendships are rare, and as I said before, almost always unsought and unexpected when they happen. Everyone who goes down that road does need to be very careful--no argument there--and do so with eyes open. But to believe it does not happen is quite closed minded on your part.

[timesarechanging]

Originally Posted by Old-T

I think your example of a surgeon is a bit off. If I go to a surgeon I care that they are a good surgeon

Huh, how so? I, we all, care if the call girl is good at what she's doing, no?

Originally Posted by Old-T

--I really don't care about their bedside manor

Well for a surgeon no, he does surgery... that's his work. Works work, call girls have their own trade.

Originally Posted by Old-T

or their intimate connection with my mind.

Me either, for anybody I hire... except a psychiatrist I suppose.

Originally Posted by Old-T

But to believe it does not happen is quite closed minded on your part.

Ahh... I liked reading your examples, you've had a lot of nice people in your life it seems. Almost makes me sad, I didn't intend to come across as so cynical,

Originally Posted by Old-T

Your final comment is the one that matters, and it contradicts your opening comment.

or contradictory... my intent was just that

Originally Posted by Old-T

They ARE just like anyone else as far as being "real people". There are good, bad, caring, callous, friendly, and isolated.

Exactly that. Just some of us have had more of the callous and bad types.

[Guest122317-1]

Originally Posted by Old-T

Friendly encounters should be--in my opinion--the norm. Real friendships are rare, and as I said before, almost always unsought and unexpected when they happen. Everyone who goes down that road does need to be very careful--no argument there--and do so with eyes open. But to believe it does not happen is quite closed minded on your part.

I do so agree with your assessment. .for me it isn't just the sexual tension release,but deeper. I do have to say the original reason i went in search was fulfill the missing physical void which i have but not all sex is physical most of it comes from the one organ that lies between the ears.
I have been very fortunate to in the fact that the women i habe hired as provider's have been really attentive to that need as well. Flirtatious, sensual,communicating,sensitiv e snd caring. In an event where i to be hospitalized i only hope that those caring for me at that time treat me with as much dignity and caring that my provider's have shown and demondtrated to this old man.
I know that my business transactions are temporary at best. I know in a public setting we keep a distance maintaining the privacy of such a private matter. If there is a situation where social contact is inevitable then greetings should be breif similar to how you would greet your mechanic.
I actually shared a meal with one of my provider's it was natural similar to how you would share a vup of coffee with a coworker. We shared family stories and photos then went our separate ways. What i have found is i really enjoy their company not even considering the more intimate portion that is business.
I don't see where it could escalate from a business friendship and i definitely don't want to cross any lines emotionally or physically.
That is why i started this thread to get the general overview of what the general expectations are on all sides

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by Old-T

Friendly encounters should be--in my opinion--the norm. Real friendships are rare, and as I said before, almost always unsought and unexpected when they happen. Everyone who goes down that road does need to be very careful--no argument there--and do so with eyes open. But to believe it does not happen is quite closed minded on your part.

Why I posted take it slow

As I can tell ya, being friends with a hooker can be lots of fun
and
a pain in the ass

[Guest122317-1]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

Why I posted take it slow

As I can tell ya, being friends with a hooker can be lots of fun
and
a pain in the ass

I see your point completely so far none of the girls have acted.like the old stereo type hooker.. instead the ladies i have met so far have all been very much the girl next door. Clean sweet ...i hate to use this word but (normal ) they of course are basically running a business but :they have all been so nice sweet i haven't gotten one indication that they were putting up a front. Only one showed some reservations but then she had just been dealt an underhanded blow by a customer a few weeks prior to meeting me. I don't blame her one bit for being leary of new clients.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

Why I posted take it slow

As I can tell ya, being friends with a hooker can be lots of fun
and
a pain in the ass

Agree completely on all three points.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by wendlo

I see your point completely so far none of the girls have acted.like the old stereo type hooker.. instead the ladies i have met so far have all been very much the girl next door. Clean sweet ...i hate to use this word but (normal ) they of course are basically running a business but :they have all been so nice sweet i haven't gotten one indication that they were putting up a front. Only one showed some reservations but then she had just been dealt an underhanded blow by a customer a few weeks prior to meeting me. I don't blame her one bit for being leary of new clients.

It sounds like you've met some exemplary ladies so far. But it sounds like you've got a picture of 'escort' in your head to measure against your experiences. Erase it. If you're not meeting back-alley types, good on you.

For MOST of us, we don't want you to feel like a number no more than you do. Especially when you get so close so fast. Learning more about you makes the encounter more human. Human is good. As an example, a man who described himself as a super fan of a singer we both love came to my mind on the singer's birthday. Doesn't mean I want to marry him, but we will be wailing songs and playing air guitar together in the buff again very soon.

[Guest101616]

I have had someone see in public while I was with my parents, and we get along great so he couldn't help but go "hey brandy!" My parents looked confused so I simply shook his hand and said "I'm sorry you must have heard wrong with the music being so loud, it's ******." My real name rhymes with my fun name so I told my parents it was some guy I met at a party.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by B_Genderous

I have had someone see in public while I was with my parents, and we get along great so he couldn't help but go "hey brandy!" My parents looked confused so I simply shook his hand and said "I'm sorry you must have heard wrong with the music being so loud, it's ******." My real name rhymes with my fun name so I told my parents it was some guy I met at a party.

I am sorry you had that experience. There is really no excuse for that--some folks who visit this corner of the universe are too stupid to do so safely. Fortunately it turned out alright this time because you were quick on your feet.

And Wendlo, one bit of advice: when you see Tiffani post something, pay attention. She is someone to listen to.