What would you do if you found out your girlfriend was a provider.

[bowdown2me]

Um she didnt tell me... and than once I found out tried to lie about it.. saying it was bullshit, but im sorry pictures dont lie!!
She eventually came clean but all the dishonesty wad to much to handle... I had to walk away...

[pmdelites]

bowdown, that helps to clarift the situation.
sorry that she lied about it. she must have had reasons for doing so.
but since there wasnt a heart-to-heart about that and other things, i can see where you decided to walk away.

[Guest122922]

Good Thread.....and I wish I didn't have to filter through all the bullshit from the clueless one liners.

This subject is definitely worth addressing.
I've been in the hobby for 8 years. I've tried the dating sites as well, thinking I wanted to find a relationship with someone who wasn't in the hobby.

It got to be a bit sticky when trying to explain how I made a living or how many previous "relationships" I've had.
What am I supposed to say....oh, well...yeah...I'm in the business providing companionship services....and I've done more guys in one year than you've probably attempted with girls your whole lifetime.

Young people I don't think get this (as I can well tell by some of the posts on this thread). Another notch in the belt can mean many things for many folks.

Another aspect of this subject is:
When you DO HOBBY.....and you decide to try to have a relationship with a provider. Been there....done that...three times.
Also have had friends who've tried it. IT NEVER WORKS.
I've experienced two guys.....who actually DID leave their wives....but once they found themselves SO FREE....they had a change of heart.
I was just the straw that broke the camels back. It was a long time coming for them anyways. But still.......left me emotionally high and dry.

Bottom line I guess.....work it as you feel the relationship can stand it.
Use your intuition and try not to hurt anyone in the process.
Bad Karma always seems to come back and bite us in the ass....:-/

One more thing:
bowdown2me....your quote:
"I'm open minded but I couldn't marry a provider active in the business. Date yes, marry no"

(not only do I HATE your handle), but:
I SAY TO THAT, BULLSHIT. "Date" a provider but not expect a serious relationship? Boy.....I doubt you will get free P**sy from anyone on this board.

Cheers,
Torre

[pfmtony]

Torre I actually said that not bow.....

While I don't like his name either, you don't fully get my point either. One I'm not after free pussy. To be honest, you and I are both old enough to know free pussy is just like unicorn tears. And lastly, that is more of a statement about myself, not any provider. I'm not marriage material. I like to try new things. I hate being told what to do. I know free pussy is the ultimate fantasy and it doesn't exist. I did get a free BBBJNQNS one time in my life.... Just once.

So Torre you can be pissed, but I'm not going to get married to anyone ever again. I'm already on my 2nd, and now I know there will not be a 3rd. That is 100% on me and has nothing to do with being a provider. It also has nothing to do with bow. So can we just be friends?

[Guest122922]

Only if you propose......;-)

Hugs,
TT

[bowdown2me]

Thanks for clarifying about the comment pfm, I would hate for such a beautiful woman to think I said something I did not, especially since it represents something I do not believe, I would not dismiss the idea of marriage with a provider, and I would be open to entertaining the idea if the feelings were there, along with honesty from both of us concerning the job and the hobby...
And im sorry neither of you two like my name, but it represents something about me that only few know...
And Torre I would certainly hope my name wouldnt hinder my chance of meeting you sometime?

[Guest062124]

From your registration date and review count..seem like she showed you the way to happiness.


Edited to say... I have always been open and upfront about my career choice to any man I have considered dating. I don't want to wait until too late to let him know he has to share me physically with other men.

[pfmtony]

Originally Posted by Torre Tames

Only if you propose......;-)

Hugs,
TT

TT, I promise to always be polite, a gentleman, and tip. I winter ever propose again though. Trust me I think every lady deserves a prince charming, it just sure as hell ain't me. You can blame my first wife if you like. She fucked up and screwed me up in the process. I was faithful for 10 years, the last 5 no sex. I got accused of cheating berated for looking at porn, you name it. My 2nd wife is perfect in all ways but one.

So TT, looked, read your profile, think you have a lot to offer. I wish you the best. But I'm honest, I'm pretty much done with the marriage thing. I could propose, but im not putting any woman through that again. I have often wondered about many women, "what if we fads met under different circumstances or at a different time?". But honestly, that's the last damn thing I would ever talk about.

Hugs back at you. Heck I'd even throw in diamonds, but I'm not proposing. And it has nothing to do with anyone but me.

[pfmtony]

Originally Posted by bowdown2me

Thanks for clarifying about the comment pfm, I would hate for such a beautiful woman to think I said something I did not, especially since it represents something I do not believe, I would not dismiss the idea of marriage with a provider, and I would be open to entertaining the idea if the feelings were there, along with honesty from both of us concerning the job and the hobby...
And im sorry neither of you two like my name, but it represents something about me that only few know...
And Torre I would certainly hope my name wouldnt hinder my chance of meeting you sometime?

Bow, I changed my user name for a similar reason. Now the people who don't like me just plain don't like me . Hey and I always take the heat when its earned. I wouldnt want someone else getting beat up for things I say.

[whitechocolate]

The desire to date your provider can be normal if you are in a "ATF" relationship with her but NEVER works out and should not be pursued but just kept a fantasy.
Dating a gal who is a provider can and does work if the provider is up front and the guy is open and mature. As Reese states above, you need to tell the guy very early in the relationship and work through any issues honestly and openly and not bury them. Some guys can never accept it and others have no problem.

[bowdown2me]

Reese, my name has recently been changed as of the date under my handle... for good reason.. I was open and honest with the woman about my FAVORITE hobby... and she knew my old handle so I did a name change for multiple reason her knowing who I am was the major reason...
ive been in this hobby for around 15 years so I aint new newbie...
and white chocolate love the avatar pic... that girl is fine!!

[Looking41today]

I think there are two questions in this thread. The first was posed by the OP, which was could you be in a relationship with someone who lied about their career and then was unfaithful to you - whether as a wife or girlfriend. Sorry, the answer to that is a resounding NO. The whole basis of the relationship at that point is a lie and I would not trust the person period.

Regarding the second question, which is whether you can form a relationship with a provider, my answer would be maybe. Once upon a time when I was younger, it was important to me that my partner be less slutty than me. If I had slept with 5 partners, I could not be with someone who had 10. Call it insecurity, jealous, whatever. Now, the reality is that many providers sleep with more people in a month than I have in my life. As I've gotten older, though, I find myself that the most important thing is not where the person's been, but who they are. The reality is there are many beautiful, smart, and wonderful providers. I personally would not have an issue even marrying one.

That said, there are two caveats. First, I think that a relationship should be based on monogamy and mutual respect. In order for things to go further, there would have to be a conversation about a career change.

That brings us to the second point. As hard for a guy to forget about a girl's past, I think it's equally hard for a girl to move onto only one guy. From what I can tell, many providers have several "boyfriends" who see them an hour or two a week. There are some really good guys out here. This time spent is when people are at their best. They have their undivided attention, and everyone has different qualities, and when you're spending time with someone having sex, it's usually your good qualities that shine. If I was having sex with 10 different girls a week who all paid me, treated me well, and brought different good qualities into the relationship, I think it would be hard for me to go to one girl, see her at her best and worst, and at times not be happy with the person. I don't know how girls leave the business, because it seems like a good way to spend your time. I think it would be really hard for a guy to replace all of those good qualities she's accustomed to.

Regardless, I think under the right circumstances, in my case, I would be open to anything and everything.

[doug_dfw]

If we had moved into such a relationship we were talking marriage and kids, which is the scenario set in the thread, I would explore with her how we move forward. Having reached that relationship both of us, being frank and open minded, would find an acceptable lifestyle. If providing was the only way for her and we agreed on protocol - for me, no BB, DFK, have a CWL and pack, I could buy in, until the first child. I would want her a stay at home Mom.


.

[whitechocolate]

I feel it is wrong to force a gal to give up being a provider just to be in a relationship. If she wants to give it up fine but it should be totally her decision and not expected by the guy or coerced as that will never work.

[whitechocolate]

bowdown2me, I agree my avatar gal is sooooo fine. I actually propose to her almost daily, she is that fine))). I tell her that I wonder what it would be like to be married to a gal as hottt as her since I have actually have been married to a wild nympho provider for a lot of years in a great marriage while she continued to provide. She knows I would have absolutely no problems with her continuing to provide and that it would be one hell of a kinky filled marriage if we ever did it.She just smiles in a very seductive way))))