Let down easy or brutally honest

[grean]

Capt. Obvious here...


If a lady does her research and decides the guy won't be a good client for her, her response kind of depends on the real reason. If the reason is because he's psycho, professionalism be damned, don't bother responding.

If it's a perceived personality problem, if the guy wants a quickie and that's in your wheel house, he may question why personality matters in that case, and be put off. In that case also, why bother responding?

If you read his posts and get mixed feedback from girls, and you're not sure, there is always the ignore feature.

If it is truly a mechanical compatibility concern, for example, you speak Greek but selectively, and he wants to speak Greek with you, then you might have a chat. If he's okay without foreign language if say you speak different dialects, lol, then...

[crashkopf]

Hell, Ive been turned down. Aint no big deal. THEY don't want to see you, period.

I respect a direct, polite refusal rather than a ditzy run-around. I refuse providers also. Simply not my cup o' tea.

Sure, I was a bit taken aback, because this is, after all, pay for play.

They have their standards / preferences / free will, as does everyone else.

Nothing to see here, keep moving.

[Bflexible]

Do not reject anyone. Just ignore those you do not wish to meet. Were you to explicitly and politely reject every man that you won't see, you will make at least one enemy, possibly more, because those persons will see reviews other's have written. At the very least, they will tag a negative comment to your good reviews every chance they get, and will pile on should you receive any negative attention. Furthermore, the things your enemies say about you may be false, and there will be little to nothing that you can do to correct the record.

[Analeese]

Originally Posted by Bflexible

Do not reject anyone. Just ignore those you do not wish to meet. Were you to explicitly and politely reject every man that you won't see, you will make at least one enemy, possibly more, because those persons will see reviews other's have written. At the very least, they will tag a negative comment to your good reviews every chance they get, and will pile on should you receive any negative attention. Furthermore, the things your enemies say about you may be false, and there will be little to nothing that you can do to correct the record.

Yea. Sad there are people that do things like that though don’t you think ?

[randell]

Originally Posted by B Three

In my personal life, 75% of guys claim they want an honest (polite answer) but about 90% of those guys don’t want to hear it when you tell them.

This.

Although being ghosted by one of my regular gotos sucks. She always had bad communication, so it's hard to tell if she meant to. But After messaging 3 times, I have to assume it's intentional. I can't think of any reason, and it's probably best she didnt tell me.

[8701]

Correct me if I’m wrong, Ignoring someone is rejecting them right?
Just asking for a friend...There are Other classy ways to blow someone off, ignoring them is not one imo.

Op,either way is a slippery slope....lose lose situation either way.

Can’t please everyone

[Kawasakirider]

Then you get the guys that write scathing reviews after years bringin up old grudges

[dallaswill]

Direct is best.
When PM'ing I will ask the lady questions and invite her to ask if she has any for me. This helps establish if we should meet or not.

When we meet, and after she has seen me and we talked a bit, I ask if she still wants me to stay. The lady has the right of refusal. Nothing personal. And I walk.

So far no one has refused me. But I offer the courtesy JIC.

[dark3419]

Originally Posted by Wells Bentley

Huh, I thought the standard answer was "maybe next time, Babe".

This. I would much prefer knowing that she isn't going to see me than to be left hanging. A reason is not necessary, just notice. If I know, then I can call someone else and make plans.


Just as the ladies time here is valuable, so too many men have limited (valuable) playtime available.

[Chung Tran]

Originally Posted by dallaswill

Direct is best.
When PM'ing I will ask the lady questions and invite her to ask if she has any for me. This helps establish if we should meet or not.

When we meet, and after she has seen me and we talked a bit, I ask if she still wants me to stay. The lady has the right of refusal. Nothing personal. And I walk.

So far no one has refused me. But I offer the courtesy JIC.

wait a cotton-pickin' minute, Will.

am I reading this right? even after you get to her incall, after, say, a few minutes of banter, you ask her if she wants you to stay and go through with a session?

I see the Gentlemanly value, but I also would sense insecurity on the Provider's part, I would think she would feel weird, and maybe think it is you that is looking for a subtle way to back out. maybe I'm over-thinking it?

[mtabsw]

Direct but gentle - "I'm sorry, but I don't think we'd be a good fit." No need to say you read his posts and he's obviously a misogynist.

I've been declined twice, the first was along these lines, the second was a rant about another girl she knew I'd seen, what a tramp she was, how the other girl had outed guys, given them STDs etc etc. I really didn't need that.

[johnclark]

I'd prefer to have the provider fuck me silly, for free no less, and then tell me she's moving to Brisbane for family issues.

[Sir Lancehernot]

I'd prefer to be totally ignored than to hear or read, "You're a loser; get lost" or some equivalent thereof.

One girl I saw a few years ago, since retired, texts me every few months. "How's it going?" she'll say. I'll respond, then not hear from her for two months, when the cycle is repeated. Several weeks ago, the pattern was broken. "How about lunch?" she asked. Of course, I said yes. Sine then, as usual, crickets.

I'm pretty sure she, like a few other girls she used to be friends with, just enjoy fucking with me. But they were one of the best things ever to happen to me, and I can't resist the urge to respond -- even though it's like death by a thousand cuts.

[Scribe]

Originally Posted by txboi817

for me its race but my review count has been a problem for some ladies.

YOU'RE LITHUANIAN!?!!

Damn tx, I didn't know...

(Psst, ladies - I wouldn't see them either - I hear those people are just nasty)
Seriously = Anna, great thread... good discussion here.

My thought is "Gentle decline". (That "Thank you but I don't feel were a good match", works)

You can't ignore or say nothing, because there are SO many new or popular providers that messages and requests don't get answered right away, so the guy would keep trying.

A small quick response, "Thank you for your offer, but no thanks" closes the thread.

But I'll agree with some discussion here and say "then don't hit them up 3 months later when you decide you would take the money - and be "butt hurt" when they tell you to f-off,,,"

[SleeperHit]

An "I don't think we're a good fit" works for me but we're grown-ups; if she doesn't respond at all, I get over it, move on and call someone else