Married Hobbyists and Providers

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

Not too hard to spot the married hobbyists on this thread. Such eloquent justifications.

Hahahahahahahahahaha! You think SF is married??? You think SF is a guy?? Hahahahahahahahahaha!

[StinkyFingers]

Originally Posted by Liliana Vess

The idea that you are throwing back to some sort of 'european' mentality is a tired cliche. Most users of this board are NOT European, it's completely irrelevant.

... just own it and don't make it appear like you are doing someone a favour by fucking hookers and not telling them about it. Just be self aware that you are cheating at the end of the day, instead of making lame ass justifications for it.

I mentioned living "overseas" and did not say anything about Europe. There's lots of overseas other than Europe. That I was referring to Europe was your assumption.

Mic never said that he was being selfless or doing his wife a favor by fucking hookers and keeping it quiet. He said he did it for his own needs, but felt guilty about it. And, he did not make a lame ass justification for it, other than he did it for his own selfish reasons, but thought it best to keep that out of his family life. He also never said he was interested in divorcing his wife.

... See a pattern here?

I agree. Mic, if this is something you need to do for yourself, fine. If you don't want to disrupt your family, fine. Just get over the guilt and get comfortable with it.

I noticed that you did not answer the question:

Have you ever cheated and then admitted it to your SO, without first being caught?

I doubt there is anyone out there who has done this. LOL! Hypocrits calling out Hypocrits for being Hypocritical.

[StinkyFingers]

Originally Posted by Liliana Vess

My husband and I do this shit together and honestly...?

AWESOME.

100%

Curious, whose idea was this first ... yours or your husband's?

[StinkyFingers]

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

Hahahahahahahahahaha! You think SF is married??? You think SF is a guy?? Hahahahahahahahahaha!

You forgot Divorced as a possiblity

[Guest121624]

Originally Posted by Liliana Vess

I didn't know the social contract had some sort of hooker clause?



FYI they are not true, few women assume their husbands are fucking escorts.

When your wife knew you saw hookers before you got married and she's a former hooker, if she thinks you're cheating, that's the first thing she'll think.

I've never been married, but unless you're in an open marriage, you don't tell your wife you're cheating. Honesty is not the best policy here. If you want the possibility of a divorce and giving her half of everything, unless you have a prenup, by all means, tell her.


Originally Posted by Liliana Vess
My husband and I do this shit together and honestly...?

AWESOME.

100%

Does he do doubles with you, or is he just a gigolo?

[BatteriesNotIncluded]

Originally Posted by StinkyFingers

Second. Mic, a lot of dudes jumping your case here may not have enough life experience to understand the nuances involved in your situation. Don't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes.

Have you ever considered that perhaps your wife is not sexually attracted attracted to you? Or, that you're simply not sexually compatible, but other parts of your relationship work perfectly fine for both of you.

No relationship, nor other human being, can provide 100% of what you want or need. So, in all relationships there are unspoken and/or unconscience trade-offs and compromises as your relationship settles into its natural rhythm.

Seems like you are doing what you need to to fulfill your human needs and maintain your marriage. There is a lot of research indicating that a swing in the jungle every once in a while is actually healthy for a relationship.

The concept that once married you can only have that one relationship for its duration is a quaint, puritan belief that that is quite silly. Every human changes over the years and you will always meet people that you are attracted to throughout your life.

But, you will be much happier if you get over the guilt, accept that it is what it is, and enjoy your hobbying ... Just do it safely. If you can't get over the guilt, then you're doing the wrong thing.

Right?

Lets hear from the guys who have long lasting, loving relationships/marriages. Guys who write lots of reviews, are single, claim success in material things but not relationships.... Just noise .

[jbravo_123]

Originally Posted by StinkyFingers

Curious, whose idea was this first ... yours or your husband's?

Hers.

Originally Posted by surcher

When your wife knew you saw hookers before you got married and she's a former hooker, if she thinks you're cheating, that's the first thing she'll think.

I've never been married, but unless you're in an open marriage, you don't tell your wife you're cheating. Honesty is not the best policy here. If you want the possibility of a divorce and giving her half of everything, unless you have a prenup, by all means, tell her.

Sure, if you want to be a coward about it, go ahead and keep hiding it from your SO. No matter how you try and justify it to yourself, you're still a scumbag if you cheat (regardless of with a provider or civvie) and you aren't honest with her about it. Is it potentially a big financial problem? Sure, but you should've thought about that before you cheated. A cheater removed the choice to stay or leave from their SO. It's tough to feel much sympathy for that.

Originally Posted by surcher

Does he do doubles with you, or is he just a gigolo?

Is this somehow not apparent from the reviews? Man, if I could get the ladies to pay ME...

[StinkyFingers]

Originally Posted by BatteriesNotIncluded

Guys who write lots of reviews, are single, claim success in material things but not relationships.... Just noise .

LOL! Why do you think they're on this Board? Because they're killing it with the civvies? ...

[StinkyFingers]

JBravo ... you appear to be in a rather unique situation with your wife. Why did she bring it up ... was it because she knew you hobbies prior to marriage, or did you meet in the hobby? Perhaps the circumstances of your pre and post married life made it very easy for you and your wife to bring this out in the open. And, if you ever saw a Providers without your wife being a third wheel, would she consider that cheating?

I only ask because I don't know a thing about you, your wife, nor your marriage ... that is, is it a real marriage, or is it a friendly joke on the Board between the two of you?

[BatteriesNotIncluded]

Of course seeing hookers or strippers while being married is cheating. There's physical and emotional cheating. Believe me, the two are typically perceived differently. But neither qualify the participant for sainthood!

Then there's hookers and strippers seeing or tempting married men. Again, no saints there. But at 60+ we're talking expediency. The few here who have spouses that engage with them may be different. But not if we apply judeo-Christian morality. Sins a sin. Again, why are we telling this poor guy he's wrong? Even single guys paying hookers are on the left side if morality, treating women as commodities. Lets get a grip.

[StinkyFingers]

BNI, it's simpler than that. I don't see any of the adamant proponents of the position that Mic is "wrong" or a self-serving coward answer this simple question in the affirmative, or even address it at all:

Have you ever told your SO, on your own volition and without having been caught, that you cheated?

[BatteriesNotIncluded]

Originally Posted by StinkyFingers

BNI, it's simpler than that. I don't see any of the adamant proponents of the position that Mic is "wrong" or a self-serving coward answer this simple question in the affirmative, or even address it at all:

Have you ever told your SO, on your own volition and without having been caught, that you cheated?

Yep. But I advise against it

[StinkyFingers]

JBravo ... Last question: Is your wife bisexual? And did she want to continue her bisexual lifestyle after you married?

[Don T. Lukbak]

Mic! The crux of the biscuit is this: you just aren't young enough to know it all. All you know is what you learned from 60 years of living, raising a kid, and staying in a peaceful marriage for however long you been doing it....that's some hard drill right there. The ones who never did that are, of course, the ones best qualified tell you how to live the rest of your life.

The main thing, Mic, is - if you even need advice - you damnsure don't need it off no shmb.

[StinkyFingers]

Originally Posted by jbravo_123

Hers.

Sure, if you want to be a coward about it, go ahead and keep hiding it from your SO. No matter how you try and justify it to yourself, you're still a scumbag if you cheat (regardless of with a provider or civvie) and you aren't honest with her about it.

HaHaHa! LOL! ... wait, I need a minute to catch my breath ...

So let me get this straight. A Bisexual Diesel Dyke marries a Munchkin and SHE suggests to him that they hobby ... most likely because she wants to have her ladies too ... he, naturally agrees. Jesus, that takes some balls, JBravo!

And, to top it off, they like to dress up in Nerd costumes in their escapades and do WU's "wife" English Muffin without inviting WU! And, then think they are a normal couple who can criticize a 60 year old man with an asexual wife for secretly seeing hookers!

Not knocking your lifestyle at all JBravo & Wife ... whatever works for you is all good. But, please ... spare everyone the morality play. You've simply created a clever way of justifying all's good, but it looks like your wife's desire was to have sex with other women, so she invited you to the party ... then it's not cheating.

I wonder what the response would have been if your wife was not bisexual and YOU suggested hobbying to her? Would you have had the balls to even ask her?