In a Serious Relationship With an ASP? Guys, Could You Handle It?

[wildwooly1]

My 2 cents is this....we are people not the job its self and you dont have to bring it home with you.
I have dated and been with cops, lawyers,sales,medical,dancers, strippers,and yes even a funeral director but their job did not dictate their personality or how they behaved away from work and surprisingly most of these women were total opposites of what they did from work and after i got married she changed alot over the years as many people do.
I dont judge people and i sure dont judge them by what they do for a living so yes i could date or marrry an woman in this business or any other line of work as long as i loved or cared for them.
I have many ladies in this business i consider friends and its not because of what they do here and had i met them away from this line of work we would probably even be better friends but there has to be a certain amount of anoniminity here in this business and i understand that.
They may call theirselves by different names but you do get a sense of the real person after you have been around them a few times and they are no different than you or me they are just people !
Some people may not like my line of work and judge me because of it everyday which is wrong but screw it you cant satisfy everyone . There are many ladies on here dating men or married to men that tolerate or like their so called line of work everyday and have been in relationships for a long time ; So yes it can be done and is being done everyday.
Just look at it this way ...how many guys has your SO slept with? do you judge her by that? and how many women have you slept with and does she judge you by that? Its all in your head and if you love or care for someone it doesnt really matter what they do for living as long as they are happy with what they do and you can be happy with them.
Never judge a book by its cover because there is a real person under any job be it a wal mart greeter or a porn star.

[adult146]

Originally Posted by London Rayne

Honey, people go to work everyday at so called moral jobs they are not happy with. The difference is, you can love what you do and have a conscience that disagrees with it. You are confusing not liking our job with simply not being proud of it.

Morality has nothing to do with it!

I haven't confused anything. My advice to those people is exactly the same. Life is way to short to be doing something you dislike or are not proud of. Sure you may have to do the current job to get to the next one, but get to the next one. Don't sit sulking in misery. It does not do anyone any good and the stress of it can actually shorten your life.

Originally Posted by London Rayne

I love providing, but I don't like what it does to other people. I love the money, the sex, the travel, the intrigue, but I don't like the fact of knowing I could be hurting some woman I have never met...worse, that one day I could be in her shoes.

Then you are obviously conflicted and will have to deal with that personally. Providers certainly are not the cause of the problem at home. If I buy a car and run some one over, you can't feel guilty because you sold it to me. That just would make sense.

The relationship issues that your clients have are their own demons, not yours.

[London Rayne]

I will just agree to disagree, because you don't get what I am saying. I play a part in it no matter how you look at it. Sure, I did not go out hunting for married men, but I am not exactly selling therapy either. You are confusing the two, but that's ok. Not liking something and not wanting an award for it are entirely different...sorry you can't see that. I am proud of accomplishing what I have at my age, proud of my daughter, proud that I have a great family and friends, proud of my education, but proud of sucking strange d*ck? Uh no.

I don't have to be proud of being a hooker to do it and enjoy it. You telling me to quit is like me telling every guy here to stop cheating because some have a conscience. The benefits outweigh the problems at this point...some day that could change. I don't have to show my face, tell all of my friends, or scream it from the roof tops to be good at what I do. Look around dear....how many women hide their face because they don't want others knowing what they do? Most anyone with a career I would guess. Does that mean because they are smart enough to protect what's important to them and not brag about this, that they should stop providing? I think not.

Are you married? Are you proud that you cheat? See, same thing. Many guys here love sex but not all love the fact they have to cheat to get it...yet they still do it.

[adult146]

Originally Posted by London Rayne

I will just agree to disagree, because you don't get what I am saying. I play a part in it no matter how you look at it. Sure, I did not go out hunting for married men, but I am not exactly selling therapy either. You are confusing the two, but that's ok. You're not inside my mind, so you will never know what I am saying.

I don't have to be proud of being a hooker to do it and enjoy it. You telling me to quit is like me telling every guy here to stop cheating because some have a conscience. The benefits outweigh the problems at this point...some day that could change. I don't have to show my face, tell all of my friends, or scream it from the rooftops to be good at what I do.

Are you married? Are you proud that you cheat? See, same thing. Many guys here love sex and cheating, but they don't exactly feel good about it or brag to their friends.

I'll agree that I will not convince you not to feel guilty. At least that is how I have interpreted what you are telling me.

Yes I am married. Am I proud that I am cheating? I don't have a problem with my current behavior. If I did I would stop. I don't brag about my behavior because it is illegal and of course would not be good for my relationship at home, but I don't feel bad about it.

I guess I do not understand what I'm not getting. I wish you could articulate it. I am confusing which two? Why does pride in ones work and liking it, or being good at it have to be separate.

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by MrGiz

1st - I like the disclaimer idea... It does help to place things in perspective.

2nd - Your use of the word PIMP is fair... especially since I have already used the word BIGOT to describe those who "label" others according to their own beliefs.




Divorce Rate Facts

1. Since 1970 marriages have declined 30%.
2. Since 1970 divorces have increased 40%.
3. Women are the first to file for divorce 65% of the time.
4. Over 40% of first marriages end within 13 years.
5. Over 20% of first marriages end within 5 years.
6. Over 75% of divorced people get remarried.
7. Second marriages fail 65% of the time.
8. Premarital cohabitation increased 70% in the 1990’s.
9. Over 50% of premarital cohabitating couples split up within 5 years.
10. Over 50% of marriages are preceded by premarital cohabitation.

How anyone can use traditional marriage to justify the condemnation of alternative relationships, is beyond me... especially on an Escort Message Board!!!!

MrGiz you read and acknowledge the disclaimer! Excellent! You can pound your forehead till the cows come home, but if "MY" perspective puckers your butt hole all I can do is send you back to the disclaimer. You’re out look on life and your beliefs are not dictated by me or my views. I respect your and other people’s opinions and choices in life style even thou I don't agree with them. I am dating a provider from years ago. She knows what I do. The minute that relationship turns "serious" you won't read a good bye thread, so long suckers, you guys will miss me thread.... I'll just be gone like two extra large pizza's at a weight watchers convention! LOL

FYI: When stating facts its helpful and much more believable if you delineate where these "Facts" come from! I read the list and believe line for line these statements are true. And guess why? For the same reason we all have disagreements, arguments, divorces and failed relationships! "SELFISHNESS! Once again....

SL Disclaimer: My piss you off button is in the off mode. I am voicing my personal opinion and am not speaking for any one but myself nor am I telling anyone what they should do!

[MrGiz]

Originally Posted by Still Looking

MrGiz you read and acknowledge the disclaimer! Excellent! You can pound your forehead till the cows come home, but if "MY" perspective puckers your butt hole all I can do is send you back to the disclaimer. You’re out look on life and your beliefs are not dictated by me or my views. I respect your and other people’s opinions and choices in life style even thou I don't agree with them. I am dating a provider from years ago. She knows what I do. The minute that relationship turns "serious" you won't read a good bye thread, so long suckers, you guys will miss me thread.... I'll just be gone like two extra large pizza's at a weight watchers convention! LOL

I thought I made it clear that I have no problem with your opinions.... no pounding of forehead necessary! You sound a little excited... can you not live by your own doctrine? Do you not enjoy being called a bigot?

[Laz]

Originally Posted by London Rayne

I will just agree to disagree, because you don't get what I am saying. I play a part in it no matter how you look at it. Sure, I did not go out hunting for married men, but I am not exactly selling therapy either. You are confusing the two, but that's ok. Not liking something and not wanting an award for it are entirely different...sorry you can't see that. I am proud of accomplishing what I have at my age, proud of my daughter, proud that I have a great family and friends, proud of my education, but proud of sucking strange d*ck? Uh no.

I don't have to be proud of being a hooker to do it and enjoy it. You telling me to quit is like me telling every guy here to stop cheating because some have a conscience. The benefits outweigh the problems at this point...some day that could change. I don't have to show my face, tell all of my friends, or scream it from the roof tops to be good at what I do. Look around dear....how many women hide their face because they don't want others knowing what they do? Most anyone with a career I would guess. Does that mean because they are smart enough to protect what's important to them and not brag about this, that they should stop providing? I think not.

Are you married? Are you proud that you cheat? See, same thing. Many guys here love sex but not all love the fact they have to cheat to get it...yet they still do it.

I get it.

For your sake focus on what you are accomplishing for you and your family. Those are the goals that matter. I hope we meet some day.

[London Rayne]

Originally Posted by adult146

I'll agree that I will not convince you not to feel guilty. At least that is how I have interpreted what you are telling me.

Yes I am married. Am I proud that I am cheating? I don't have a problem with my current behavior. If I did I would stop. I don't brag about my behavior because it is illegal and of course would not be good for my relationship at home, but I don't feel bad about it.

I guess I do not understand what I'm not getting. I wish you could articulate it. I am confusing which two? Why does pride in ones work and liking it, or being good at it have to be separate.

You don't have a problem lying to your wife? What if she found out and wanted to leave? Is that not why you LIE in the first place? Why do you lie if you "have no problem with it?" Is it fear? Then that's an emotion you feel about what you are doing.

You're not being real here. If you are lying to do what you do, then you obviously know there would be an issue if you were caught. In that sense, you do in fact feel some sort of guilt, emotion, or just plain scared of what would happen if your wife found out. It may not be guilt, but you feel some sort of emotion or you would just do what you wanted and let your wife leave.

You are doing the very same thing I do but for different reasons. You are not in an open relationship like those who don't lie to each other, so either you are afraid of what society thinks or what your wife would think...probably both by your own admition. Of course you like what you're doing lol. You are a guy with a d*ck, but I wonder how much you would still like it if you lost everything you have in the real world?

My point is we all have issues to deal with when we participate in this type of business, so telling someone to stop doing what they enjoy is rather moot when you can't do it yourself.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by London Rayne

I am proud of accomplishing what I have at my age, proud of my daughter, proud that I have a great family and friends, proud of my education, but proud of sucking strange d*ck? Uh no.
.

Pretty much summed it up for a lot of us here. Nuff said.

[London Rayne]

Originally Posted by Laz

I get it.

For your sake focus on what you are accomplishing for you and your family. Those are the goals that matter. I hope we meet some day.

Very nice of you to say love. Thank you.

[adult146]

Originally Posted by London Rayne

You don't have a problem lying to your wife? What if she found out and wanted to leave? Is that not why you LIE in the first place? Why do you lie if you "have no problem with it?" Is it fear? Then that's an emotion you feel about what you are doing.

You're not being real here. If you are lying to do what you do, then you obviously know there would be an issue if you were caught. In that sense, you do in fact feel some sort of guilt, emotion, or just plain scared of what would happen if your wife found out. It may not be guilt, but you feel some sort of emotion or you would just do what you wanted and let your wife leave.

You are doing the very same thing I do but for different reasons. You are not in an open relationship like those who don't lie to each other, so either you are afraid of what society thinks or what your wife would think...probably both by your own admition. Of course you like what you're doing lol. You are a guy with a d*ck, but I wonder how much you would still like it if you lost everything you have in the real world?

My point is we all have issues to deal with when we participate in this type of business, so telling someone to stop doing what they enjoy is rather moot when you can't do it yourself.

Now who is confused. I still don't have a problem with my behavior.
You certainly seem defensive I assume I have struck a nerve. I am sorry that was not my intent.
Why must my caution be reflected by an emotion. It is not. I am looking after my best interests.

To repeat, what I said was, if you don't like your job you should find other work. What's wrong with that?

I have no judgment of you, I just know that if I did not like my job I would find another one. Yes like for me includes being proud of my work.
Hobbying is not work for me it is pleasure. Since I do not have a problem with my behavior then there would be no reason for me to quit. I thought you said you had a problem with your behavior. If I am mistaken then I apologize.

No it would not be good if I lost everything that is important to me. That would make me sad.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by adult146

I'll agree that I will not convince you not to feel guilty. At least that is how I have interpreted what you are telling me.

Yes I am married. Am I proud that I am cheating? I don't have a problem with my current behavior. If I did I would stop. I don't brag about my behavior because it is illegal and of course would not be good for my relationship at home, but I don't feel bad about it.

I guess I do not understand what I'm not getting. I wish you could articulate it. I am confusing which two? Why does pride in ones work and liking it, or being good at it have to be separate.

So you are married, and you're seeing hookers. If you're so unhappy, why don't you leave her? Yes you are unhappy , because if you weren't you wouldn't be here. Don't you think it is the same thing? Cheaper to keep her eh? Or what other explanation do you have that you picked up at "Delusional Academy"?

What's that saying about throwing stones when you live in a glass house again? ......

You're telling her to find a new job, Maybe you should find a new wife? Or are you looking for love on a hooker board? You have the stage.

[adult146]

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

So you are married, and you're seeing hookers. If you're so unhappy, why don't you leave her? Yes you are unhappy , because if you weren't you wouldn't be here. Don't you think it is the same thing? Cheaper to keep her eh? Or what other explanation do you have that you picked up at "Delusional Academy"?

What's that saying about throwing stones when you live in a glass house again? ......

You're telling her to find a new job, Maybe you should find a new wife? Or are you looking for love on a hooker board? You have the stage.

I don't recall denying I was unhappy at home. No not looking for love. Looking for sex. I don't get that at home.
New wife? The only thing crappy at home is the lack of sex. I'm not sure what you want me to say, but I agree. There is no reason to continue this discussion.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by adult146

I don't recall denying I was unhappy at home. No not looking for love. Looking for sex. I don't get that at home.
New wife? The only thing crappy at home is the lack of sex. I'm not sure what you want me to say, but I agree. There is no reason to continue this discussion.

...... Thank you. Just stop acting as if you know what is going on in her life. And I'll stop acting like I know what is going on in yours.

[Outdoorsman]

Nope, cannot get into serious relationship with a woman that is a provider. I would just be setting myself up for future pain and anguish. I can easily forgive the past and would want my past forgiven as well, and would want to know the truth but I cannot share my SO with another. It is that simple for me. Can I date and work toward a serious relationship while she works - absolutely. But once the committment is made, no more work, and I will no longer hobby. That's just me though, I do not judge others and I respect open relationships, just not my cup of tea that's all. Honestly I want to find that one woman I cannot live without, I want to be madly in love with a woman that adores me as well. I will not find it in the hobby that is for sure, but I do get to have some great momentary pleasures and that's all I am looking for here. I was married for a very long time and I never cheated, NEVER. I started hobbying after we were apart, a long time after we were apart.

I date now, in fact have a lady coming to my house tonight, civilian lady, and we are going to watch Saints game together, eat some steaks, etc. have fun, too soon in relationship to be love though. Hobbying can actual help me to look at her from a more rational point of view as I decide to go forward, as I am not super horny and only looking at her legs, lol. But honestly we have a dated a few times and we will be alone in my house tonight, possibility of sex, absolutely. But we have been on a few dates already.