What if anything could provoke you into taking your own life?.

[Katy Alexander]

Originally Posted by SR Only

So I know that was a bit long. It still has me thinking about the mom. Did I treat her right, did I push into further depression by not continuing a relationship. It just had and has me shaking my head.

As an FYI, my dad did himself in over 30 years ago. Manic depression and alcoholism made him tough to treat. He hit low and didn't come back up. Sad because he was a talented creative type. Ahh what could have been.



SR Only

I think that when people truly commit to the idea of ending their own life there really is nothing you can do to stop them Maybe severe depression is so painful that for some people suicide is their only way to find relief.The more that I am learning about my friends situation the more I feel that he just wanted out, and it had little to do with the people he was close to. In some ways I guess it is similar to loosing someone who has been sick , and in pain for a long time.As much as you may miss that person you are still relieved for them when they are finally out of pain.

I guess that some pain is just more mental than physical , but pain is pain, and if what they wanted was an end to that then you can only try to respect their decision , and hope that they find some peace.

I am really sorry to hear about your father .Loosing a close family member has to be an extremely difficult situation to cope with.

[TexTushHog]

Originally Posted by Becky

I think that when people truly commit to the idea of ending their own life there really is nothing you can do to stop them Maybe severe depression is so painful that for some people suicide is their only way to find relief.

The more that I am learning about my friends situation the more I feel that he just wanted out, and it had little to do with the people he was close to.

I've separated out into separate paragraphs two of your points. As to the first paragraph, you are spot on. That is exactly what happens.

As to the second point, I'd like to comment on the phrase "the people he was close to." Depression has a way of distancing you from the people you used to be close to. You become increasingly isolated. Old relationships don't seem significant. It's very strange, but it's well documented. And as you become more withdrawn, unless those with whom you have had relationships have some experience with depression, they tend to withdraw, or tend to complain. Either one makes the situation much worse.

[Guest083011]

There was a documentary on PBS a year or two ago about people who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge. Throughout the piece they had shots of people contemplating what they were about to do. Scaling the railing and then committing the act. (many shots were at a long distance through high powered lens). What they did have were many interviews with family and friends (as TTH noted) and I think it was two or three who survived and were willing to talk. One guy said he finally jumped and as he was going down, he changed his mind and wanted to live. Many injuries post fall. I thought they inferred that the guy still had mental issues that he and his family were trying to grapple with.

It was a very powerful show that dealt with the ultimate act of suicide and how the GGB was a instrument to facilitating a person's suicide.

[WTF]

Originally Posted by SR Only

So I know that was a bit long. It still has me thinking about the mom. Did I treat her right, did I push into further depression by not continuing a relationship. It just had and has me shaking my head.

Do you think you were responsible?

Seeing how we can not look into the future, what if anything could you have done?

Are you that confident in your ability to make a profound change on another's life by reaching out in a sugar baby type relationship and then turning it into a Dr Phil type?

We all do what we do based on what we know, not what we will know in the future.

I wouldn't beat myself up over this.....there is a natural order to life. we at times give our self way to much credit in being able to change that.

Now don't go twisting my words into thinking I said don't do anything when you feel the need but everyone prioritizes

Originally Posted by pjorourke

I liked it better when they were at each others throat.

Me too!

It was fair fight when it was 3 on 1 but then TexRich and Mr Giz got all depressed and left the party and artman ran up the white flag!

[Sa_artman]

Originally Posted by WTF

Me too!

It was fair fight when it was 3 on 1 but then TexRich and Mr Giz got all depressed and left the party and artman ran up the white flag!

Time for an eye check WTF, but your mistaken, they were your panties up that pole.

Ok. Back to more serious discussion now...

[Guest050715-1]

Originally Posted by WTF

Do you think you were responsible?

Seeing how we can not look into the future, what if anything could you have done?

Are you that confident in your ability to make a profound change on another's life by reaching out in a sugar baby type relationship and then turning it into a Dr Phil type?

We all do what we do based on what we know, not what we will know in the future.

I wouldn't beat myself up over this.....there is a natural order to life. we at times give our self way to much credit in being able to change that.

Now don't go twisting my words into thinking I said don't do anything when you feel the need but everyone prioritizes



Me too!

It was fair fight when it was 3 on 1 but then TexRich and Mr Giz got all depressed and left the party and artman ran up the white flag!

SR,

WTF is right. You can’t read into the future and know what will happen to you let alone someone else. Everyone’s actions are their own. Even a trained clinical psychologist, over email and distance probably couldn’t have made the call that she would have followed through let alone make much of a difference.

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

SR,

WTF is right. You can’t read into the future and know what will happen to you let alone someone else. Everyone’s actions are their own. Even a trained clinical psychologist, over email and distance probably couldn’t have made the call that she would have followed through let alone make much of a difference.

I tend to agree. I'm aware of a handful of situations where some very well intended friend or family plays psychologist or even retained a real professional , goes through some kind of diagnostic tool on the person(e.g. "7 Signs a Loved One May Be Suicidal"), and tries some sort of intervention.

As well intended as the attempts were, if anything they caused further distance in the relationship. In none of the cases did it result in suicide (who knows if it was ever considered?).

As I think some one else mentioned, distance changes relationships. It doesn't mean someone is one the verge of ending it just becuase they don't share the way they used to or seem more distant. The reality is instead of living next door or even under the same roof they literally are a thousand miles away. Relationships change.

[Guest083011]

I know I could not anticipate what happened. Yes, it was a warning sign. But then again, it was a flag going up, so who knew she would take the ultimate escape.

Just so y'all (my attempt at a foreign language ) know I did not beat myself up over this nor second guess it. I was saddened that whatever circumstances came at her, her way out was perhaps avoidable. Like Becky's friend and others have mentioned, she probably isolated herself and that fed upon her depression.

What is awful is the ass who is tormenting the daughter. Him, I would like to deal with. Drop a dime to a 'connected' friend, so that the calls and texts would stop. Amazing how the right persuasion can end things like that quickly.

As I write this, someone in my biz took his life about four years ago. Younger guy (preferred an alternative lifestyle) who seemed to have things going for himself. His elderly mom found him hanging. Again what forces or state of mind drive someone to that extreme?

And I know it personally from my dad. He had demons, too. A gentleman who mentored my dad (sort of, I am trying to be vague) saw signs that my dad was headed over the edge. He couldn't save him (nor could my uncle (dad's brother) help him out "one more time"). Years later, the mentor invited us to a ceremony to honor the mentor. There were many people speaking about how the mentor had helped them creatively over the years (sorry about being vague again). It was an hour of speeches by high profile people. Then the mentor got up and spent the majority of his speech talking about my dad, working with him, guiding him, editing his work with exquisite results returned the next day (my sister and I were blown away). But the point is, how 25 years later, and it still haunted the mentor.

Life tosses us (especially the peanut gallery here) some weird pitches and turns.

So all of you have a good weekend. We are embracing life in one way or another, whether it be in a demimonde world or just day to day.

All the best!!!

My 500th post!

Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

SR, you can’t read into the future and know what will happen to you let alone someone else. Everyone’s actions are their own. Even a trained clinical psychologist, over email and distance probably couldn’t have made the call that she would have followed through let alone make much of a difference.

[Katy Alexander]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

I tend to agree. I'm aware of a handful of situations where some very well intended friend or family plays psychologist or even retained a real professional , goes through some kind of diagnostic tool on the person(e.g. "7 Signs a Loved One May Be Suicidal"), and tries some sort of intervention.

As well intended as the attempts were, if anything they caused further distance in the relationship. In none of the cases did it result in suicide (who knows if it was ever considered?).
.

That sounds an awful lot like me.and I now know from experience that attempting to play psychologist not only does not produce any long term positive results, but can also lead to a lot of resentment. It can become a very one sided relationship that leaves you feeling drained, and your energy sucked dry.

There is a good reason why people go to school for a long time to become psychologists .I have no idea why many of us think that we can attempt to understand a condition that we have no background, or education in.

It is nice to have good friends who are supportive of each other, but when that support becomes one sided you know that it most likely will not ever change.If anything sometimes the person that you are attempting to help care for can take advantage of your sympathy,and use it as a way to manipulate the relationship.

People have to save themselves.There is very little you can do if that does not interest them.

[GneissGuy]

Firesign Theater said it years ago. "Your brain is not the boss."

I think that a lot of people simply go insane without a lot of reasons. Depression, or even less well defined emotions overwhelm them and their brain just loses it. Brain chemicals overwhelm the mind and emotions take over. Sometimes it's not a thought process. It's an overwhelming chemical or "mechanical" process. For instance, if you take a stiff drink, your mind will be affected, no matter what your thought process. Sometimes, your body or brain just slips your mind a stiff drink of brain chemicals and you're screwed.

There are often underlying causes, but sometimes there aren't any particular causes. There are times when what should be soul crushing problems don't cause someone to give up. Other times, minor things push someone completely over the edge.

Those of us left behind wonder why. Sometimes there is no "why."

Those of us who've never had one of these body/brain/mind incidents (yet) don't really understand those who do. We should all probably be more prepared for it to happens to us.

[Guest083011]

Originally Posted by Becky

People have to save themselves. There is very little you can do if that does not interest them.

I think that's why my uncle had to let my dad go low enough to realize that he has to save himself or he will extinguish his life. Obviously the later occurred.

[Guest030911]

I would only seriously consider it in two scenarios/

a) I was captured by the enemy and I had valuable state secrets that would compromise the security of the nation if I talked. I think we can rule that one out.

b) If I was looking at an absolutely certain slow and painful death over an extended period of time in which case I would go on a cruise and disappear overboard. Caveat: If I had heirs who would be screwed by my actions financially versus a more natural death, I would find another solution.


I always have naively thought everyone thinks the same, but time has shown me differently. However, I think we all have contemplated the thought either intellectually or emotionally. I have never been able to think of a scenario that I could not recover from eventually other than the above scenarios.

It is amazing how resilient we really are, but we cannot visualize it until we have walked through it. Right now, there are those among us that hurt and may be thinking of taking the easy way out. If you are one of these persons, you can get through whatever is troubling you right now. We may not be the same after some of these big life events. But recovery from our current problems and the anxiety and depression is possible.

If you have suicidal thoughts, if you have an actual plan for suicide, ask for help. Ask from anybody and everybody. Most problems in life are not permanent, and many of those that are, can be dealt with and overcome.

I hope anyone suffering alone in silence will just take a risk and ask for help. You will not get it if you don't ask and make your problems known.

[charlestudor2005]

When I was in college, I was depressed--how severely, I don't know. But I had no drive, no ambition, no need to succeed in class...nothing. My sole attraction was to a group of partiers, and I would go out nightly, party, get drunk and sleep the night and day away. The lack of ambition scared me a little bit since I seemed to be the only one with this lack of ambition. So I saw a school psychologist. I went to the first session. He fell asleep halfway through. In the second and third sessions, he also fell asleep. By the fourth session, I was pissed. I had this serious problem, and he wasn't helping. As a matter of fact he was sleeping through my crisis. So, finally, I challenged him: Here I have this serious problem and all you do is sleep. How can you do that??? He responded by saying that he can't change my motivation and drive. I had to do that. All though it was difficult, that's what I needed to hear and do. It was really hard. But it is some of the best advice I've ever had.

[Guest083011]

Is he still sleeping?

In response to cpi: I think you could just put me on an iceberg and let me float away like the Aleutians do.

But like that PBS piece, I'd be half way through and say "wait a minute, I want to live." But that's just me.

[MrGiz]

Originally Posted by WTF

. . . . It was fair fight when it was 3 on 1 but then TexRich and Mr Giz got all depressed and left the party . . . .

Depressed? Where in Hell have you been?