To blog or not to blog?

[RachaelBenedict]

I fairly recently made some changes on my site, including removing my blog. SEO is great, but it wasn't converting (and no longer a challenge after I reached my personal goal).

I removed it and haven't put it back because:
1- I don't like giving away too much free content
2- I don't like encouraging cyber-stalkers who never intend on meeting me
3- I don't know who is reading it or who is making what inferences. Eventhough I've been careful what I write, there is always the possibility of someone making the connection between "Rachael" and my mainstream life.
4- I suspect that the benefits (below) can be met by other means (my newsletter, message board posts)...
5- SEO is accomplished "good enough" thru other means...

I would consider re-adding my blog, with some of my favorite musings and occasionally updating it because:
1- It demonstrates that I'm deep thinking, educated, whatever I portray myself to be. Authenticity thru actions.
2- It might push someone over the edge into actually meeting me...
3- Sometimes it's fun to get the reactions of strangers, network a bit, and feel the "pulse" of the social internet.
4- My blog entries have provided some interesting topics of conversation over dinner.


I'm curious:
If you're a guy, what are your thoughts on companions having blogs? Any advantages/disadvantages to add?
If you're a companion, why do you blog or choose not to blog? Any advantages/disadvantages to add?

[pjorourke]

Blogs? You gals have blogs? I've only just seen pictures.

[charlestudor2005]

RB--I've already decided to call you if I'm ever in your neighborhood (that's assuming I haven't already been added to you DNS list).

About your post: I don't read blogs (except my niece's). I don't have time to do so. Nor do I participate in Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and the like. Too much info out there, and again, it takes too much time.

But of the few ladies on my bucket list, you are one. But I'm sure some of them won't see me...we'll just have to see whether they do or not if I'm in the neighborhood.

[Guest053011]

Blog - it helps people who are compatible with you beyond the phsyical find you (at least that's my experience)

1- I don't like giving away too much free content

That's a consideration more appropriate for a porn star. They sell content. You aren't selling content - you are offering one on one personal companionship. No blog will ever come close to replacing that.

2- I don't like encouraging cyber-stalkers who never intend on meeting me

I find people who don't' intend on visiting me just email me a sweet note complimenting me on a piece of writing and don't pursue it any further. I've never had a cyber stalking issue in ten years.


I'm curious:
If you're a companion, why do you blog or choose not to blog? Any advantages/disadvantages to add?

I mostly blog because I love to write. To connect with people who have something interesting and/or valuable to say about my thoughts - whether we are going to meet for a date or not - is an important part of the transformative intellectual adventure that is life. I like the challenge and I like the sharing.

[catnipdipper]

I for one love to read them. Especially if they are observant, funny, and tell good stories or events.

I would drink some women's blog water

[RachaelBenedict]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

RB--I've already decided to call you if I'm ever in your neighborhood (that's assuming I haven't already been added to you DNS list).

About your post: I don't read blogs (except my niece's). I don't have time to do so. Nor do I participate in Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and the like. Too much info out there, and again, it takes too much time.

But of the few ladies on my bucket list, you are one. But I'm sure some of them won't see me...we'll just have to see whether they do or not if I'm in the neighborhood.

Thanks for the compliments

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Blog - it helps people who are compatible with you beyond the phsyical find you (at least that's my experience)

1- I don't like giving away too much free content

That's a consideration more appropriate for a porn star. They sell content. You aren't selling content - you are offering one on one personal companionship. No blog will ever come close to replacing that.

2- I don't like encouraging cyber-stalkers who never intend on meeting me

I find people who don't' intend on visiting me just email me a sweet note complimenting me on a piece of writing and don't pursue it any further. I've never had a cyber stalking issue in ten years.


I'm curious:
If you're a companion, why do you blog or choose not to blog? Any advantages/disadvantages to add?

I mostly blog because I love to write. To connect with people who have something interesting and/or valuable to say about my thoughts - whether we are going to meet for a date or not - is an important part of the transformative intellectual adventure that is life. I like the challenge and I like the sharing.

The first point you made was also my initial experience, but I also found that I forgot what I wrote and that what I wrote 6 months ago was not necessarily still relevant.... and people do read alot into it.

As far as giving away free content, isn't that why one limits the amount of pictures? Is writing much different? I'm still trying to decide, which is why I phrased it that way. Currently I have a few more personal writings in the VIP area of my site, for those I've screened and/or previously met...

That is very reassuring to know you haven't had a cyber stalker in 10 years! That was one of my main concerns.

Blogging effectively and using it as a forum for self growth and connecting with others is a huge reason to put one up...

Anyway, thanks for the thought provoking response, I really respect your opinion and experience - I'm going to think on this more....

[Guest083011]

I enjoy reading the thoughts of a potential partner. As Lauren said it gives a window into who they are abd who they are not. I have opted not to see someone based partially on what was written and I have gone out of my way to see someone based on what I read (and I have a few that I must meet in the future 'cause I love their blogs). So our dearest Rachel please keep us updated!

[WTF]

I hate tp pre-judge. I've found most are nutn like their posts.

So for me, a blog would eliminate spontaneity. You are only with another for a short period of time besides a good roll in the hay makes every lil thing alright! Your date is smarter, funnier and sexier. How can you convey that on a blog?

[Lovely Victoria]

Originally Posted by RachaelBenedict

If you're a companion, why do you blog or choose not to blog? Any advantages/disadvantages to add?

You know when you have a great date? And you so want to tell someone about it? You want to tell someone (and maybe brag a little) about how charming your date was, how delectable the meal was, and how mind-boggling the after dinner activity was? But I can't. I can't exactly say, "mother dearest, I've been moonlighting and let me tell you about this great gentleman I met." So that's why I blog. It's an outlet.

Advantages - Most of my dates (new or established) read my blog regularly. And they remember things I wrote about what I like, what I want to do, how I like to be seduced etc. and take those into consideration for our date. And of course, I write because I love to. My blog is a nice substitute for my fantasy to be a famous writer one day since I don't really have the talent or the discipline to be one.

Disadvantages - I have to anonymize (is that a word?) people and places. There is a time lag between a real event and the post. I often write, but the post stays as a draft until I feel comfortable that enough time has passed. I haven't had a crazy cyberstalker, but I've had a few people write me a lot... like sending me poetry and vignettes everyday, which kinda gets wee creepy after awhile.

[WTF]

Almost everything, you see, comes to us through some media prism, which, in turn, colours not just our view of this life, but our own self-definition. We are products of immense, often inchoate, media indoctrination.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/theobserve...jul/24/society

This is a fertile, haunting book, with a thesis that peddles awareness, not conclusions. But once you've absorbed the awareness, you're bound to see life a little differently, and to keep asking the most vexing of questions. If I am a sponge, an assemblage of images, sounds and influences, always looking out for my 15 minutes of fame, always rehearsing what I'll say if a camera pokes its head round my doorway or a producer from reality television comes knocking with a contract, then where is the real me, the inner core, not the outer show?

[perdido]

I like reading the blogs, they let me get to the person better. Of course I could be just buying the image, but at least I know if the woman is smart enough to write an intelligent sentence.
Rachael, one of my dream dates would be your St. Louis Blues Date.

[ClairJordan]

Blogging has been on my mind lately so I appreciate all the input here. I agree that it's a great way to show your personaility, share, vent and be creative. Number one thing is do what you are comfortable with. Share what you choose to share. And remember; you can always edit. Write it out and leave it for a day or two,then go back and re-read. If you feel you've exposed too much, delete or tone it down.

A great little book for inspiration and writing tips is 'Writing Down the Bones' by Natalie Goldberg. It's comprised of short essays designed to get your writing juices going and flowing.

[Guest053011]

I'll explain my perspective. It's not that I'm right and you're wrong, this comes down to marketing philosophy.

A true brand represents something that is real. Part of building a brand is Accuracy, the other part is Mental Real Estate. Looking at this from both the perspective of entertainment (which this can legitimately be classified as) and online marketing.

In both industries the slogan is: Content is King!

Always give people a reason to come back, even if they aren't spending money. What you win is mental real estate in the persons mind. You give them reasons to think about you, when seemingly unrelated incidents happen. You write a blog about a German movie, somewhere in life they encounter an article or conversation about European cinema, and you for a brief moment cross their mind for a brief moment. So there's associations building there, that can win a person's sincere interest and this may eventually lead to direct interaction.

Now, I limit my image content for several reasons. I want to rotate my galleries so there's always something new, I use my pictures in my blogs, and I don't want to look like a porn site. There are still a lot of images, but there's a direct effort not to have the same feel. I walk away from a photo shoot with 500 images, about 250 are damn good. For each set I won't put up more then 8. So I have hundreds of pictures left over - I edit them as eye candy features in my blogs, and I rotate the best pictures in my galleries. I don't put up 250 pictures because that's what porn sites do, so you can just sit there and spend hours going through pictures.

So I don't make all content available, but I take the best, and I make sure there's always something new to look at somewhere. It might be pictures, it might an addition to my city guide listing travel finds, it might be a blog entry, an article or poem I found - but the site is never static. So even those who have known you for years, wonder what's going on in your life from time to time, and check back. The moment opportunity presents itself, they see you. You haven't become a stranger to them, they never really lost touch, and you didn't have to directly communicate, spending hours answering emails.

By that method alone it's possible if someone can only see you once or twice a year they will, for many many years. It's another way of tapping into the concept of regulars, one that is often sadly over looked. Good people you know and can trust, coming back. So you limit the need to meet new people as much as possible, increase stability without being overly dependent on your main arrangements (or regulars), and not being dependent on meeting people for first dates.

It's all a fine balance, I think. Success does not come without effort, and your main investment people expect from you, is yourself.

Originally Posted by RachaelBenedict

Thanks for the compliments



The first point you made was also my initial experience, but I also found that I forgot what I wrote and that what I wrote 6 months ago was not necessarily still relevant.... and people do read alot into it.

As far as giving away free content, isn't that why one limits the amount of pictures? Is writing much different? I'm still trying to decide, which is why I phrased it that way. Currently I have a few more personal writings in the VIP area of my site, for those I've screened and/or previously met...

That is very reassuring to know you haven't had a cyber stalker in 10 years! That was one of my main concerns.

Blogging effectively and using it as a forum for self growth and connecting with others is a huge reason to put one up...

Anyway, thanks for the thought provoking response, I really respect your opinion and experience - I'm going to think on this more....

[pjorourke]

Interesting approach.

[WTF]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

By that method alone it's possible if someone can only see you once or twice a year they will, for many many years. It's another way of tapping into the concept of regulars, one that is often sadly over looked. Good people you know and can trust, coming back. .

That is a very good point Lauren. We are all different and just because I want to learn about a person on the fly does not mean everyone does. In fact if pressed , I suspect most want to know way more about their date's background than I do going in. I found myself picking the exact same ladies just with different names. I'm from the south but how many southern belles do I need to see before they all start to run together.

That was a bit long winded, sorry, that said, I do think regulars are the key to any great business and in this business especially.