Sexual addiction & the hobby

[SlowHand49]

There's an "off" switch???

[SlowHand49]

Originally Posted by DallasRain

I am a sex addict---and a damn good one...lol!!

Uh, oh . . . My obsession is quickly heading into the addiction range . . .

[Guest032213-02]

Originally Posted by SlowHand49

There's an "off" switch???

Yep. It's the part that says "Hey this is fucking up my life, maybe I should pay the mortgage and the utilities instead of seeing a provider or going to a strip club"

[Chica Chaser]

I have just discovered there is a 12 step program for our affliction out there:

http://www.sexaa.org/

Part of their definintion of sexual addiction is

"The essence of all addiction is the addicts' experience of powerlessness over a compulsive behavior, resulting in their lives becoming unmanageable. The addict is out of control and experiences tremendous shame, pain and self-loathing. The addict may wish to stop --- yet repeatedly fails to do so. The unmanageability of addicts' lives can be seen in the consequences they suffer: losing relationships, difficulties with work, arrests, financial troubles, a loss of interest in things not sexual, low self-esteem and despair."

After taking a look at a few pages, they provide a pretty comprehensive checklist to determine if you are a sex addict:

Answer these twelve questions to assess whether you may have a problem with sexual addiction.

1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
2. Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?
3. Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?
4. Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?
5. Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
6. Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships? Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?
7. Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?
8. Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?
9. Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?
10. Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?
11. Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?
12. Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?

If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, we would encourage you to seek out additional literature as a resource or to attend a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting to further assess your needs.

http://www.sexaa.org/12ques.htm

After looking at this list, there's not much doubt in my mind of MY addiction. I'm guessing that many of us on this board suffer this affliction. Seems there are meetings happening close by....wonder if this may be a good place to meet/pick-up ladies?

[RebeccaRothko]

Have you ever read Choke?

[LuckyNatalia]

be careful what you wish 4 sparrow lol

[TexTushHog]

Originally Posted by bluffcityguy

"Quick and dirty" answer: "'The hobby' ceases to be a hobby when its pursuit interferes with your daily life, to the detriment of yourself and those you know."

Ok, y'all can now discuss the details.

Cheers,

bcg

First, there is no such thing as sex "addiction" in the truest sense of the word. The addiction model may be useful in talking about an unhealthy obsession with one's sex life but it is not a true addiction.

Second, if you want to use "addiction" loosely, bluffcityguy hit the nail on the head.

[bluffcityguy]

Originally Posted by DallasRain

I am a sex addict---and a damn good one...lol!!

Oh, yes!

(Review to follow, once I catch my breath...)

Cheers,

bcg

[Guest032213-02]

Originally Posted by TexTushHog

First, there is no such thing as sex "addiction" in the truest sense of the word. The addiction model may be useful in talking about an unhealthy obsession with one's sex life but it is not a true addiction.

Second, if you want to use "addiction" loosely, bluffcityguy hit the nail on the head.

I disagree. There are two kinds of addictions. Physical and mental. Alcoholism, smoking both are physical, but the mental release that the addict feels is purely emotional, while the physical is satisfied by the nicotene in the smoking case. The emotional side can be transferred to any action that causes a release/emotion that due to the addicts mind is the only way that the addict can feel. If being emotional means that it is not a true addiction, you may have a point. But, it is still the only way that person can feel, and like the other addictions, there is no way for the addict not to want that feeling.

[bluffcityguy]

Originally Posted by TexTushHog

First, there is no such thing as sex "addiction" in the truest sense of the word. The addiction model may be useful in talking about an unhealthy obsession with one's sex life but it is not a true addiction.

I'm not a headshrinker (either M.D./D.O. or M.S./Ph.D.), so I can't really talk about it with authority (but when have I ever let that stop me before?), but.... While I don't know if there is truly such a thing as "sex addiction" (as real professionals in the field understand it), I do think it's pretty bleedin' obvious that a lot of guys who get caught in the act of being serial skeevyhounds (and understandably so; I'm looking at you, Tiger Woods*) will use a claim of sex addiction as a means of dodging personal responsibility for their actions, and perhaps of dodging some of the consequences of their actions.

And ultimately, you can't be too harsh on them. "Man is the rationalizing animal..."

Cheers,

bcg

* Ok, ok... I'm not a professional, and I don't have firsthand experience about Tiger's case, so I'll concede I may be a bit harsh on him here. Just callin' this as I see it...)

[Tiffany Cums]

YES! I AM AN ADDICT! And.....???? I don't see an issue with it...

[Gonzo DFW]

It's an obsession for most of us. Love it, need it, gotta have it. But if you steal money, borrow from relatives, sell your belongings just to set one more appointment, it's probably an addiction. So could you lend me $250?

[DallasRain]

wooohooo maybe one day i will get to experience you Tiffany!!!

Happy birthday BCG!!{you are a great addiction}!!

[whereaminow]

From all these posts, it appears I am an addict also and I need to quit....August 1st.

[DallasRain]

lol whereaminow...not till we meet babe!!!!