Advice for Taxpayers

[oeb11]

Advice for Taxpayers
Q: What is an Economic Stimulus payment?




A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.

Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?
A: Only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with and your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, your money goes to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to the management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead keep the money in America by:
(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Go to a ballgame, or
(3) Spend it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

Your friendly tax accountant ����������


Shamelessly cribbed from Comedy Central.
Thanks to -oral_dlites



Fascist DPST's have no sense of humor - U may deign not to sully your minds with this post
Ooops - Tooo Late!!

[bb1961]

This is just adding to the debt and the interest on the money borrowed. This 2 trillion is a joke when it come to the daily commerce of this country. The ramification of this will be disasters with some small businesses never recovering and they are the backbone of this country. The pinheaded politicians are inoculated from this because of the bubble they live in. I would be remiss if I didn't state that several of the Republicans are trying to use some cogent rational to bring the knee jerk economy destroying reaction to an end. The economical effects on the country are far worse then the health benefits this lock down is suppose to accomplish. As the saying goes "the cure is worse than the disease" again in this case it is!!

[Levianon17]

I think I'll invest it in metals. Primarily Lead, lol.

[Unique_Carpenter]

Oeb, amusing.

But, frankly, the stimulus checks are timed to arrive just in time for the May rent or mortgage payments. That and one good load of groceries and its all gone.

[dilbert firestorm]

why lead?

[Jackie S]

Originally Posted by dilbert firestorm

why lead?

Bullets.

[dilbert firestorm]

yeah.. but don't they have laws prohibiting lead in bullets?

[Jackie S]

Originally Posted by dilbert firestorm

yeah.. but don't they have laws prohibiting lead in bullets?

That is shot found in shotgun shells intended for water fowl shooting. You have to use steel shot when duck hunting. You can use lead shot for hunting game such as quail, dove, and pheasant.

However, the heart of 95% of every rifle and pistol bullet manufactured is a lead core surrounded by a copper alloy jacket.

[eccielover]

Originally Posted by Jackie S

That is shot found in shotgun shells intended for water fowl shooting. You have to use steel shot when duck hunting. You can use lead shot for hunting game such as quail, dove, and pheasant.

However, the heart of 95% of every rifle and pistol bullet manufactured is a lead core surrounded by a copper alloy jacket.

Yeah, the ammunition itself has pretty much always had a lead component in both the gunpowder side and the shell itself.

There was a short period where lead ammunition was banned from wildlife refuges and I don't know if further bans are anywhere else.

https://thehill.com/policy/energy-en...ead-ammunition

[BlisswithKriss]

Originally Posted by oeb11

Advice for Taxpayers
Q: What is an Economic Stimulus payment?




A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.

Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?
A: Only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with and your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, your money goes to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to the management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead keep the money in America by:
(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Go to a ballgame, or
(3) Spend it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

Your friendly tax accountant ����������


Shamelessly cribbed from Comedy Central.
Thanks to -oral_dlites



Fascist DPST's have no sense of humor - U may deign not to sully your minds with this post
Ooops - Tooo Late!!

The biggest rule anyone should abide by...

Don’t take advice from a ignorant dumbass Trump supporter who votes for another dumb ass that has caused this mess in the first place by his neglect and incompetence
All Trump wants to do is recoup some of the money he’s lost so far by his stupidity.
To the tune of $1 billion this Past mth alone. So glad Karma kicked in. So he’s licking his greedy chops at that $500 bn slush fund.
Who would trust anyone that LIES about his net worth and has a history of going bankrupt multiple times (6)
Suckers like you need that $$$$. I don’t.
Cheers

[nevergaveitathought]

the $1,200 rebate per taxpayer you're talking about?

the full $1,200 is on incomes up to $75,000 (single filer), and $500 if you have a chid

but here's the part in the law that struggling people don't know

Subtitle B Sec. 2201

the rebates will be paid out as advance refunds

what the heck? you owe it back?

[eccielover]

Originally Posted by BlisswithKriss

The biggest rule anyone should abide by...

Don’t take advice from a ignorant dumbass Trump supporter who votes for another dumb ass that has caused this mess in the first place by his neglect and incompetence
All Trump wants to do is recoup some of the money he’s lost so far by his stupidity.
To the tune of $1 billion this Past mth alone. So glad Karma kicked in. So he’s licking his greedy chops at that $500 bn slush fund.
Who would trust anyone that LIES about his net worth and has a history of going bankrupt multiple times (6)
Suckers like you need that $$$$. I don’t.
Cheers

The biggest rule anyone should abide by...


is laughing with the rest of us while a true blue TDSer rants about Trump in a thread that was meant to be a joke copied and pasted from comedy central.

As the OP said.

Fascist DPST's have no sense of humor - U may deign not to sully your minds with this post

But reading comprehension in some is indeed lacking.

[eccielover]

Originally Posted by nevergaveitathought

the $1,200 rebate per taxpayer you're talking about?

the full $1,200 is on incomes up to $75,000 (single filer), and $500 if you have a chid

but here's the part in the law that struggling people don't know

Subtitle B Sec. 2201

the rebates will be paid out as advance refunds

what the heck? you owe it back?

No, it is an advance of a tax credit. Like in the previous times they have done this, when you file 2020 taxes, there will be a provision to take the tax credit and whether you already received it. Most will net to zero at that point.

Some will receive it at that time if they didn't have it disbursed already, and I'm not sure but some I guess could owe it back depending on circumstances and exactly how they implement it on the 2020 return.

But the crux is most will just net to zero and you will move on.

[nevergaveitathought]

Originally Posted by eccielover

No, it is an advance of a tax credit. Like in the previous times they have done this, when you file 2020 taxes, there will be a provision to take the tax credit and whether you already received it. Most will net to zero at that point.

Some will receive it at that time if they didn't have it disbursed already, and I'm not sure but some I guess could owe it back depending on circumstances and exactly how they implement it on the 2020 return.

But the crux is most will just net to zero and you will move on.

whew!

[Levianon17]

Originally Posted by dilbert firestorm

why lead?

Ammo, lol.