A Lonely Profession?

[alluringava]

In any case, it is always tragic when someone is in such despair they choose to end their own life, whether they be a provider or a CEO. At the same time, I also have mixed feelings about that because I was taught that suicide was a mortal sin, not to mention the grief and anguish or anger it can cause the others who loved the person who killed themselves.

[Zabrina Sarafina]

Wow. You people have no sense of humor. That's what really sad

Do I seem like the type of person that wouldn't care about depressed fat ugly old people???



Ok don't answer that


and I strongly advocate plastic surgery for depressed people to raise your seal-esteem.

Hmmm...now you're wondering if I really mean that


I love fuckin w ppls minds

y'all babies

[Zabrina Sarafina]

Like I said before...(did I say this before?)

Whether you're a part time or full time provider, it is very important to have a social life completely outside of the hobby, - facebook doesn't count

If you're in the habit of living in a very private isolated shell for years, start by taking slow steps to come out and start experiencing and fully savoring what life is all about. (More than your sex life, ahem)

Get a gym membership - working out regularly boosts endorphins, take group yoga/dance stress relieving classes

Make time for dating in the Real real world. . You deserve to be in a meaningful loving relationship, just like rest of the world. You are not an outcast

Get another job in an area you love. Working in fashion retail, becoming a makeup artist, hair stylist, life coach, personal trainer, etc etc...don't worry how much money it brings, do it because it's something you just enjoy

Go back to college - Take only fun classes in subjects you want to know more about while at the same time can pay off to be valuable. Ex) Real estate investments, other financial courses

Take a vacation - What is a vacation? For situations like being in deep depression a change in environment can be highly beneficial - (I think Freud would agree) If a trip to an exotic island really isn't in your budget - spoil and pamper yourself - get a massage on a reg basis (preferably with a smokin hot male masseuse) get a professional makeover - learn a new makeup look, new hairstyle color...

Often times, you don't have close family or friends or even if you do you've been living a lie...they don't really know you, you can't confide in them about work problems - your insecurities, even if they'll listen to you, they can't change you. Often times they can make you feel worse...avoid those negative people. What is a negative person? Blood sucking leeches that put you down in any way

Now if your depression has alot to do with the hobby


the type of clients you're attracting - you're sick of seeing clients you find disgusting, too many bad experiences, you're not being treated with respect, your clients treat you like a mechanical sex robot (the ones who solely communicate in mysterious acronym language)

it's time to take charge and control what type of clients you Wish to see. being a provider does not mean being open to the general public - anybody and anyone. No. No. No.

Law of Attraction: Positive people are attracted to other positive people. Negative people will rarely be able to get near a strongly positive person. That's just science of magnetics

If you've been attracting alot of losers, time to take a look at yourself - you're attracting losers because of the vibes you're sending out. your negative state of mind (feeling sad, hopeless for several months) why are you really depressed (what are you Not doing that you know will uplift your spirit, how can you change that. for further personal help and guidance with this I do offer free counseling - email me


you're depressed because of financial reasons - you're barely making it providing month to month....in which case it could be just a temporary phase or maybe it means you're just in the wrong field/mindset. Either way, start educating yourself about general business and marketing

[Poet Laureate]

Originally Posted by alluringava

In any case, it is always tragic when someone is in such despair they choose to end their own life, whether they be a provider or a CEO. At the same time, I also have mixed feelings about that because I was taught that suicide was a mortal sin, not to mention the grief and anguish or anger it can cause the others who loved the person who killed themselves.

And there's the rub. For those of us who are depressed, we don't even consider that there will be grief, or anguish, for the people who love us. Because we don't believer that there ARE people who love us. In our minds they're just trying to help out of a sense of duty, or so they can pat themselves on the back and tell themselves what great people they are.
-
I have a void in my heart. It is a terrible, empty feeling, a heart rending, unbelievably empty chasm of unmet need. To say I am lonely is to describe gang rape as a mild social deviationl. I pay women to have sex with me because I don't believe anyone would want to spend time with me otherwise. The sex act is secondary to the companionship. Never mind that I don't have enough food in the house to last until payday; I hobbied yesterday for an hour and a half. For that time I felt like SOMEBODY cared. At the same time I know that, as nice as this lady is, and she really is a sweetheart, the minute I run out of money, I'm no longer worth her time. And that just fuels more depression. It's not logical. It doesn't make sense. It just is.
-
Today is Thanksgiving, and the only reason I have anywhere to go is that someone started a thread asking whether anyone would be alone, and I answered truthfully. I was not surprised at all when I received two invitations in just a few minutes, and I quickly accepted one and thanked the lady who made the other offer. So now I am going to spend the day with someone else's family and friends. I am grateful for this, and I'm sure I will enjoy myself. I'll be my usual garrulous, outgoing, life of the party self. And when I get home I'll lament that this wasnt MY family...they're not MY friends,..and they only pretend to care so they can feel better about themselves. Then I'll look again at the full bottle of Advil in my desk drawer and ask myself again, Why not? No one would really care. Oh sure, a few people would comment on it; my sisters and my kids, not to mention my estranged wife, might feel some vague sense of loss, but it'll go away soon, right? Because this is me, and no one could really love me anyway. That bottle is starting to look better and better.

[Poet Laureate]

Originally Posted by DallasRain

quote-----You can have a bunch of people around you and still be lonely..,,depression strikes all different kinds of people and different walks of life and more than likely this lady had other issues besides the hobby.


ditto!


The only "negative" feeling I have in doing this is that I am not able to "relish in my accomplishments" with my family.......... I was always the black sheep of the family growing up and it would be nice to be able to be proud of what I have chosen as a career and have them support me!

But at least my eccie family & friends has been able to take up alot of that "slack"!

Dallas, if no one else tells you, I will. What you do is important. For many hobbyists, it's just a part of our lives. For those of us struggling with depression, that hour with you every week or ten days is literally what we live for. Hold your head up, lady. What you do is important. It's the only thing keeping some of us going.

[Poet Laureate]

Okay, I slept on it. I feel a helluva lot better. Let's pull a Gilda Radner......Never Mind.

[SomebodyElse]

This was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever read!

My heart goes out to you, Poet. Believe me- your children would be heartbroken if you were no longer around one day. And people you couldn't possibly even imagine would miss you. I hope you find the love inside of yourself (it's there- you just have to look for it!). When you do, nurture it with whatever it takes to make it grow.

You have my best wishes going forward.

Originally Posted by Poet Laureate

And there's the rub. For those of us who are depressed, we don't even consider that there will be grief, or anguish, for the people who love us. Because we don't believer that there ARE people who love us. In our minds they're just trying to help out of a sense of duty, or so they can pat themselves on the back and tell themselves what great people they are.
-
I have a void in my heart. It is a terrible, empty feeling, a heart rending, unbelievably empty chasm of unmet need. To say I am lonely is to describe gang rape as a mild social deviationl. I pay women to have sex with me because I don't believe anyone would want to spend time with me otherwise. The sex act is secondary to the companionship. Never mind that I don't have enough food in the house to last until payday; I hobbied yesterday for an hour and a half. For that time I felt like SOMEBODY cared. At the same time I know that, as nice as this lady is, and she really is a sweetheart, the minute I run out of money, I'm no longer worth her time. And that just fuels more depression. It's not logical. It doesn't make sense. It just is.
-
Today is Thanksgiving, and the only reason I have anywhere to go is that someone started a thread asking whether anyone would be alone, and I answered truthfully. I was not surprised at all when I received two invitations in just a few minutes, and I quickly accepted one and thanked the lady who made the other offer. So now I am going to spend the day with someone else's family and friends. I am grateful for this, and I'm sure I will enjoy myself. I'll be my usual garrulous, outgoing, life of the party self. And when I get home I'll lament that this wasnt MY family...they're not MY friends,..and they only pretend to care so they can feel better about themselves. Then I'll look again at the full bottle of Advil in my desk drawer and ask myself again, Why not? No one would really care. Oh sure, a few people would comment on it; my sisters and my kids, not to mention my estranged wife, might feel some vague sense of loss, but it'll go away soon, right? Because this is me, and no one could really love me anyway. That bottle is starting to look better and better.

[SomebodyElse]

And that's a signal for all of us- you never know how much a simple smile and "Hi! how are you?" to a stranger could affect someone in ways we can't even comprehend. Practice random acts of kindness!

[canuckvic]

Totally sad when depression wins the battle. I've been fortunate and blessed to have dealt with and won by battle with depression and it wasn't possible without the help from my doctor, family and friends. It's a tough fight that many try to deal with on their own and I can only imagine that her inability to expose her involvement in the hobby made her battle even more difficult.
Feeling alone is not pleasant and she likely didn't have anyone she felt comfortable with to help her in her fight. Anyone who suffers from depression, needs the help of others. My sympathy goes to her family and friends.

[alluringava]

As another provider mentioned, it is important to have outlets outside the job. Thankfully I have a part-time job and other things going on in my life. I'd say that the hardest part is touring when you're alone, but then, I make it a point to see the city's sights and culture as well as just working so I don't get bored or stuck in a hotel room depressed.

Depression is also a biological condition and requires medication if necessary. It isn't just the result of outside factors.

[QueenSophie]

Originally Posted by mwebber

Now it seems counter-intuitive that an escort, who has plenty of opportunity to engage a variety of people through her line of work, would be so terribly lonely. Are these emotions common or isolated within the profession?

It can be very lonely. Most people you meet are not "in the hobby" so when the questions comes up "so, what do you do"?"you cant exactly say "I'm an escort"...

Dating is a nightmare (if your single) because they want to know what you do, how you make your $, why they cant come to your "office", why they cant meet your "co-workers" etc....

Yes. It can get lonely. But enough to commit suicide?

Sorry to hear that.....

[Rogue_Gent]

Abraham Lincoln had such bad depression that his friends were sometimes afraid to leave him alone.

[jason2130]

I am sorry for the loss of your friend. You can be alone surrounded by hundreds of people. It is a shame that your friend did not have anyone to confide it and lean on. Everyone needs to have someone that they can do something with, grab a drink, walk in the park. That interaction is an essential part of being a person.

[Always Horny]

Originally Posted by Poet Laureate

And there's the rub. For those of us who are depressed, we don't even consider that there will be grief, or anguish, for the people who love us. Because we don't believer that there ARE people who love us. In our minds they're just trying to help out of a sense of duty, or so they can pat themselves on the back and tell themselves what great people they are.

Bingo.

This is something people just don't get about depression. Though I have not experienced depression to a serious degree, I was involved with someone who did and was suicidal. (Thankfully, she is still alive today and doing very well.)

Whenever I hear people say committing suicide is such a selfish act, I respond, "Exactly. And that's the point."

People who are so depressed are incapable of thinking about anyone else or anything else. They are in so much pain, and for some it is actual physical pain, they cannot think beyond themselves. When they get to that point, they do not understand the concept of selfishness. They only understand the need to end their pain.

So, we need to stop deriding suicide as a selfish act and understand what's really going on, so we can help them get the help they need.

[Always Horny]

Originally Posted by Rogue_Gent

Abraham Lincoln had such bad depression that his friends were sometimes afraid to leave him alone.

Winston Churchill also suffered with manic depression.

Some have also wondered about Stalin (read about what happened to him after Hitler betrayed him and invaded Russia).