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christylynn · 07-02-2013, 05:41 AM

ive always liked when a man i know takes charge and i agree with u marybeth the men just are kinda submissive in the fact that they arent like taking control of the situation im a submissive at heart but i cant submit to just anyone but i do want men to take control in the bedroom if you cant i will lol.

Guest091013-1 · 07-05-2013, 02:58 PM

I was fortunate to have had a regular provider who really wanted to draw the Dom side out of me, which was completely liberating. She wanted that experience and she was able to read that deep down I wanted it as well.

Men receive mixed messages by society about respect toward women and it holds men back from really taking control. It all comes down to communication of expectations and desires. The fact that a provider comes out and says they are submissive is wonderful because it opens the conversation.

I would agree that some guys who say they are "Dom" are really just bullies with mommy and anger issues.

Danielle Reid · 07-05-2013, 03:04 PM

That's why I let guys know that I'm submissive in hopes that it brings out their true, non-bully, dom side. But I can't understand why most hold back. Problem is, all the ones I've seen hold back or are just plain "eh" with the whole taking control. Sweet guys though.

Guest091013-1 · 07-05-2013, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaryBeth

That's why I let guys know that I'm submissive in hopes that it brings out their true, non-bully, dom side. But I can't understand why most hold back. Problem is, all the ones I've seen hold back or are just plain "eh" with the whole taking control. Sweet guys though.

+1000 Baby!

badhusband · 07-09-2013, 09:55 AM

I think I know what you are meaning in the general sense. I'm the kind of guy who loves to lead the way, to tell you what I like, to make 'the moves', to not be agressive in a disrespectful way, but more of a take charge kind of way, to show you my desire. I have a good sense of being able to determine from signals that what I'm doing is good. For the hobby world, I'm very selective. I'll usually do my homework and read up on gals who post often on the forums to get a feel of who they are and of course follow up with reading their reviews etc. That way I hope to maximize my time with her. Of course I can't speak for everyone, but I would imagine that a lot of the guys may look at the encounter as a 'service' and nother more, nothing less. Then it may be up to you to sense this and provide just that, a service, get paid, and no complaining. If an encounter doesn't go the way you like, it's always up to you to see that guy again or not if he calls again. Like it was mentioned, this can be very complex.
BTW, I do get to LR and your posts here are noted!

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaryBeth

That's why I let guys know that I'm submissive in hopes that it brings out their true, non-bully, dom side. But I can't understand why most hold back. Problem is, all the ones I've seen hold back or are just plain "eh" with the whole taking control. Sweet guys though.

OBringer · 07-09-2013, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaryBeth

I'm submissive in and out of the bedroom (until you annoy me or piss me off). However, I seem to be getting a lot of guys that are either afraid to take control forcing me to break out of my submissive state, or just want to be a little sub boy which is a huge turn off to me.

Are there any hobbist that actually enjoys being the man in the bedroom?

Oh Kitten...just wait until you are in L.A.

Danielle Reid · 07-10-2013, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OBringer

Oh Kitten...just wait until you are in L.A.

I can hardly wait babe

Krunkman · 07-10-2013, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaryBeth

I'm submissive in and out of the bedroom (until you annoy me or piss me off). However, I seem to be getting a lot of guys that are either afraid to take control forcing me to break out of my submissive state, or just want to be a little sub boy which is a huge turn off to me.

Are there any hobbist that actually enjoys being the man in the bedroom?

One of the problems here is that, in general, hobbyists don't take that level of control with a provider because there are LOTS of providers who don't / won't do things like you ask. It's very easy for them to go "what are you doing asshole?!?!" or somesuch, and want to end the session. So a lot of guys let the ladies take the lead because it's safer, not to mention all the politics and reviews and shit that will happen afterwards.

To get what you want from a first-timer is going to be rare, and possibly dangerous. I'm sure you've seen a number of posts in the powder room telling first-time girls about how they need to control the situation in order to be safe. Elisabeth provided a great explanation of the pro's and con's of this.

I would think that, in your position at least, you only really try to find this outside of the hobby, or with clients you've seen a couple of times already and whom you've been able to judge (somewhat at least) as a person before asking them to be more in charge with you during a session.

Goddess Emma Love · 07-10-2013, 08:15 PM

Hi MaryBeth. Interesting that there are guys who will send me an email wanting me to be the submissive.

I am more of a dominant. I am not into submission.

Be careful out there. I had a guy come to my place looking for a Domination session. Once in the bedroom he expected me to let him hit me. This is one of the reasons why I don't like switches.

whitechocolate · 07-10-2013, 08:44 PM

I like totally dominating a women who I know has a strong kinky side and is a total nympho ( love to submit to groups of guys) but most providers are not kinky and really not all that submissive. Most have lots of restrictions which ruins the fun.

texasvisitor · 07-10-2013, 11:25 PM

I think the key to this type of play is knowing each others limits and respecting them completely. I have a provider friend who is very kinky and very into submission and we have certainly explored boundaries together. To do this right, there has to be a certain level of trust that is hard to get to in one session.

whitechocolate · 07-10-2013, 11:51 PM

You can do it the first session if the guy knows how to dominate a very submissive provider after she gives him a sense of what she enjoys. It takes experience on the part of the guy. Good role plays in this area can be done with little to no preparation. Experience is the key!!!

Danielle Reid · 07-10-2013, 11:56 PM

This job is dangerous, I know. This job is ran off paranoia. But if I'm going to open my legs I at least want to enjoy it. I HATE being dominate. All these guys wanting me to dominate them and I feel like shit the entire session.

But since posting this thread, a lot of UTR guys came out offering what I want. We'll see how this turns out...if all fails at least you'll have something interesting to read about in the papers

LNK · 07-11-2013, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaryBeth

...if all fails at least you'll have something interesting to read about in the papers

I find it somewhat disturbing that you'd say this, even in jest.

Stay safe, my dear.

trailor · 07-11-2013, 07:48 AM

MaryBeth
You have to remember the situation you're in. These guys don't know you. There are trust issues by definition. They want to send signals that they aren't going to beat the shit out of you or rob you. They aren't going to fuck you like they fuck their girlfriend.

but yes... there are still some of us out here who will pull your hair and smack your ass and do all those other things that give you chills.