How far is just too far?

[Guest020720]

ok, I get what ya'll are all saying.

LJ - that's actually kind of funny. Probably close to one of the reasons I don't do "humiliation/very dominant" session. (I feel like my every day life of yelling at my kids and my ex. Fuck that shit.)

But I always tend to regret how hard my nipples were sucked, bitten, played with - later that night - or when I have another client later that day - when they hurt worse than when I figured out I was preggers the 2nd time. (I nearly knocked my friend out cold when he brushed pass my tits that day....but then I knew.. dum dum dum...10 years later and I love the results.) or when I was breast feeding for 3 months. (that nipple butter is bullshit. it's gonna hurt. PERIOD. Get over it.)

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by The Fetishist

Humiliation is not something I do not like or can I do well. A well placed "Suck my cock, Bitch" is ok, but real humiliation, Pass. i tried it, it bothered me on a level below in my Psyche that I do not like or enjoy. I celebrate my submissive and do not think running them down is a way to do that. I also like a sub that is a complete person, not a doormat for my desires. It is about us both enjoying, not about me forcing another to do what I desire.

I can see your viewpoint on this.. but I have absolutely no problem performing here. I get alot of requests for sessions that include verbal humiliation, but I know that it is a roleplay, an act, playtime at it's finest. Though it's believable, it doesn't mean that it truly reflects how I see that person. When playtime is over, my level of respect for them is not demoted due to whatever we did in the session.

btw, I love to be talked to and called a bitch, especially during penetration.

[berkleigh]

Originally Posted by Boltfan

Maybe I am not pushing myself enough but I am yet to feel any regret after trying something. I may not want to do it again but there is no regret.

I think I crossed the line when I first entered into the Hobby.

But now, I am thankful for being introduced to this "underground world"

I've learned so much about myself

...and I could never go back to regular sex...

...I am more open-minded to what some think is crazy

I am down to try just about anything once......
...except for the STARFISH...CAN'T TOUCH THAT

[labrat]

Originally Posted by IDMT

For a straight guy, I would think that experimenting into male bisexuality would be too far.

word.

[RickO'shayRabbitt]

Luxury Daphne--what a great name and smile, by the way. It is all about PLAY. I am a confident male in public, but if I am with a worthy woman, once my mind is engaged, it is being sub--not a slave or doormat--which floats my boat.

If I laugh at you--or myself--during play--all the better. When it's over, I am definitely laughing about it all. I used to wonder why I was this way, if something was wrong with me. Now? I'm comfortable with my sexuality.

I do not like being called names--like loser or anything. But call me your toy, your slut, something along those lines--well, I like that.

Like I said, it all depends if the woman is worthy. Just because you are a woman, that alone does not bring out the sub in me.

[ogre]

It's kind of funny. The only line crossing I have done that I regretted occurred outside the hobby. A friend and I and our ladies decided it would be fun to swap partners for the evening. The swap occurred and I was in another room really putting his lady through the paces. She was a very hot sexual creature. Evidently, he and my lady did not hit it off as well and he came back to their room early and proceeded to catch me plowing his lady's ass. She loved the sex but we were all mortified. He left, I finished and then left. I was nearly physically ill because I knew he was upset and that isn't what any of us wanted.

Although I think it goes as a tacit maybe unwritten rule, I feel duty bound to point out, that too far is when it hurts another, even passively and unintentionally.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by barneyrubble

Luxury Daphne--what a great name and smile, by the way. It is all about PLAY. I am a confident male in public, but if I am with a worthy woman, once my mind is engaged, it is being sub--not a slave or doormat--which floats my boat.

If I laugh at you--or myself--during play--all the better. When it's over, I am definitely laughing about it all. I used to wonder why I was this way, if something was wrong with me. Now? I'm comfortable with my sexuality.

I do not like being called names--like loser or anything. But call me your toy, your slut, something along those lines--well, I like that.

Like I said, it all depends if the woman is worthy. Just because you are a woman, that alone does not bring out the sub in me.

You had me at bed rock.

[hookem69horns]

If I didn't know better I'd think spice-is-nice was my twin brother! Seriously, if I was to thoroughly discuss this thread and my getting in to the hobby, it would be exactly as he has so eloquently noted!

But to further expound on this subject ... I think the only regret we'd have was if/when we were uncertain whether or not the other party enjoyed the activity. For me, I want someone that will just let herself go ... I totally enjoy knowing that she got as much pleasure out of our playtime as did I, not acting simply because of our true roles, but she really did have a blast ... my most memorable consultations have been those were inhibitions were left outside and we both left exhausted, and thoroughly satisfied, and content.

EW ... I read about your fisting a guy, and that sounds wild, and like fun! I want to explore my sexuality, push the limits and see how far I'd take things. How would we develop sexually, and as people on a whole, without having regrets? If one is exploring their sexuality, their boundaries and the like, there will be regrets, but more in the form of newly established boundaries and/or limitations ... in a way I want to say that you can't have happiness and be satisfied without also having some regrets.

I may have wandered all over the place but hopefully answered your question.

[Guest032514-1]

I hear you, EW.

First meeting, I will always err on the side of caution. Good play takes time and trust - time to trust. I usually tell my client that this will probably happen. We'll go slow and easy, lots of checking and exploring. I'll push always but always checking.

Well, not always. We all FUBAR. I recently did on a double - with someone else's sub. Yeah. I knew I was going to a place where the sub wasn't with us. Bless his lil heart - he tried. Big points for trying to please his Mistress, but I ended up uncomfortable and broke at least 2 of my own rules. I marked him (beautiful bruise from my heart shaped paddle) and pushed to far on strapon play. Yes, I can say I was following her lead as it was her client and she is a more experienced escort. But i am a more experienced Domme. I knew better, just didnt want to "call the scene" in front of her client. I chose professional courtesy over ethics and still feel like an ass.

I have sympathy and concern for the sub, but it's hard to explain that sick in the gut feeling you get as a Dom/me, isn't it? Knowing you were trusted and at least bent that trust if not broke it.

I think a good Dom has knowledge and skill, but a great Dom has empathy.

[Ifonly]

IMO JUST HAVE FUN!!

[buzzworm86]

If something like the bruising, or pushing to far happens do offer care and some nurturing at least a symathetic hug, some comforting gesture? It would be hard to go away with out offering something like this. You seem very concerned and I was just wondering. On KINK.com Mistress Maitress Madeline went to far verbally with a sub and he began to cry. She went to him and dried his tears comforting him. It was very tender and erotic at the same time.

[buzzworm86]

I meant "do you" offer the care, etc.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by buzzworm86

If something like the bruising, or pushing to far happens do offer care and some nurturing at least a symathetic hug, some comforting gesture? It would be hard to go away with out offering something like this. You seem very concerned and I was just wondering. On KINK.com Mistress Maitress Madeline went to far verbally with a sub and he began to cry. She went to him and dried his tears comforting him. It was very tender and erotic at the same time.

After care is VERY important! I haven't kept up with this thread and I SO appreciate the answers here!!!

EW

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by babee

I hear you, EW.

First meeting, I will always err on the side of caution. Good play takes time and trust - time to trust. I usually tell my client that this will probably happen. We'll go slow and easy, lots of checking and exploring. I'll push always but always checking.

Well, not always. We all FUBAR. I recently did on a double - with someone else's sub. Yeah. I knew I was going to a place where the sub wasn't with us. Bless his lil heart - he tried. Big points for trying to please his Mistress, but I ended up uncomfortable and broke at least 2 of my own rules. I marked him (beautiful bruise from my heart shaped paddle) and pushed to far on strapon play. Yes, I can say I was following her lead as it was her client and she is a more experienced escort. But i am a more experienced Domme. I knew better, just didnt want to "call the scene" in front of her client. I chose professional courtesy over ethics and still feel like an ass.

I have sympathy and concern for the sub, but it's hard to explain that sick in the gut feeling you get as a Dom/me, isn't it? Knowing you were trusted and at least bent that trust if not broke it.

I think a good Dom has knowledge and skill, but a great Dom has empathy.

I have sincerely tried to not go in that direction as bending a trust. But there have been a few times where you get SO into the moment, and you have such focus, but in this odd way ... you can lose the focus and you're paying attention to the person but not in the most important way.

Alright. I didn't make sense but I'm leaving these thoughts here.

I have very few boundaries in some ways. But once I have set boundaries, I'm VERY free. But with those few times that I've mentioned, a person THOUGHT that he had a certain boundary and we set that up but in reality, it wasn't.

With the fisting, he was thrilled and happy. And that was a long while back that happened. It was afterwards that I questioned my boundaries with that.

We all evolve, though, with our play. Are you still going to Atlanta in October?

Elisabeth

[Guest032514-1]

Originally Posted by buzzworm86

If something like the bruising, or pushing to far happens do offer care and some nurturing at least a symathetic hug, some comforting gesture?

Always. The particular date I cited, I did a light okay & resteered the scene but mainly left it to his mostress to take care of him.

Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

Are you still going to Atlanta in October?

Elisabeth

Yep - already bought tix & am deep into networking now.