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Vixen DeVain · 03-17-2010, 06:34 AM

Ok, I've gotten several requests from a gent who wants to see me. I went to screen him and he is 'ok' by many providers.. the problem for me was..
he had over 200 okays.
It's my choice but I choose to not see him. Is there a right way or a wrong way to tell him I prefer to not see him. The Email I replied was short and sweet.
Went along the lines of:
To put this delicately. I do not see us doing business together now or any time in the future.
Due to an over abundance of shows. Please understand & do not take this personally.
What do ya'll think? May I have some feedback??
I'm not a mean, nasty person & I don't like to be rude if possible. I just didn't know how else to say what needed to be said.

Please help

EmilyHemingway · 03-17-2010, 06:53 AM

No reason need be given, and I don't recommend any more than a vague one unless you're up for an argument.

Thank him for his interest, regretfully decline, wish him well.

Bull149 · 03-17-2010, 07:14 AM

Emily is correct, no reason need be given. Be polite an professional.

He may choose to respond in various ways but that is not your fault. My recommendation, on the off chance he does choose to go public in a negative way, do not respond. That is the professional thing to do. A contest of the bladders would only cause you to look defensive and thus some would consider you guilty.

Guest100513-2 · 03-17-2010, 07:25 AM

I appreciate brutal honesty. I took the time to fill out my p411 profile and summed it up by saying if you are not interested, tell me and I will go away.
I have respect for a no, not interested response. Beats the hell out of wasting an hour or two with an unwilling playmate.

Tiffany Cums · 03-17-2010, 08:13 AM

I can understand your position....seems as though he was 'too exposed' and actually could be a risk because of it. I would just sweetly tell him that "Sorry, but we will not be doing business together, but I wish you all the luck!" Keep it short and sweet.

Vixen DeVain · 03-17-2010, 09:52 AM

Bull, Monk, Emily & Tiffany~
I really appreciate ya'll input. I fought and fought with myself over this issue...
I followed the given advice & kept it short, sweet & to the point..
I also will not respond or reply if he came 'out' with it..
Again.. Thanks ya'll!

You Rock~

WiLsOn · 03-17-2010, 10:18 AM

Handled very well.! I would prefer a no, rather than no response.

Further more, a true gentleman respects an honest answer.

Wilson W WiLsOn

SteveO21 · 03-17-2010, 10:21 AM

I wish more folks here would be that honest. I would much rather get a polite 'no' than simply hear nothing back. I hate sending a request and getting no response, yes or no. If the timing is not good or if you simply do not want to see me...say so, no problems. If there is just total silence I am left to wonder, is she getting her emails, should I call, how long should I wait for a reply before moving on? I hate to contact someone else and then 5 min later the first lady responds.........

npita · 03-17-2010, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Ok, I've gotten several requests from a gent who wants to see me. I went to screen him and he is 'ok' by many providers.. the problem for me was..
he had over 200 okays.

That's pretty funny. I always picked about 4 ok's I thought were the most solid references and deleted the rest for exactly the reason you mentioned. I figured that having only as many as I needed from the most drama-free providers was the the best strategy. Even though I was nowhere near the 200 mark, I always suspected that too many ok's (especially from providers who might be prone to drama) was detrimental.

As to the question of how to say no, just say no. If you get a lot of shit for it, then you've only confirmed your suspicions about that potential client.

Dasani · 03-17-2010, 11:27 AM

Like this... thank for calling.

You may feel free, to call someone else.
Thanks for calling, Have a great DAY.
*CLICK*!

Guest060812 · 03-17-2010, 11:32 AM

You have the right to see whomever you choose to see. So just a polite "no thank you" should do.

stikiwikit · 03-17-2010, 01:07 PM

"When in doubt, tell the truth." I think you handled the problem quite tactfully, diplomatically and honestly. If someone has a problem with me, I would very much want to be told the reason why because if it is a problem that is correctable, then I can take corrective action. It not, then that's life. We guys have feelings too and don't enjoy just being blown off with "just because". At least, thass' what I t'ink.

atlcomedy · 03-17-2010, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monkmonk

I appreciate brutal honesty. I took the time to fill out my p411 profile and summed it up by saying if you are not interested, tell me and I will go away.
I have respect for a no, not interested response. Beats the hell out of wasting an hour or two with an unwilling playmate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WiLsOn

Handled very well.! I would prefer a no, rather than no response.

Further more, a true gentleman respects an honest answer.

Wilson W WiLsOn

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveO21

I wish more folks here would be that honest. I would much rather get a polite 'no' than simply hear nothing back. I hate sending a request and getting no response, yes or no. If the timing is not good or if you simply do not want to see me...say so, no problems. If there is just total silence I am left to wonder, is she getting her emails, should I call, how long should I wait for a reply before moving on? I hate to contact someone else and then 5 min later the first lady responds.........

It is amazing how many people in the abstract say this: "Be honest with me. Give me the feedback." Then in practice have trouble dealing with it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by omaha2dallas

You have the right to see whomever you choose to see. So just a polite "no thank you" should do.

I do think some kind of follow-up is appropriate even if it is not specific. Saves you the aggervation of him following up with you & in fairness to him allows him to move on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vixen DeVain

To put this delicately. I do not see us doing business together now or any time in the future.
Due to an over abundance of shows. Please understand & do not take this personally.

This may be a moot point if it was already sent...but I don't like your verbage. If I recieved this I would think "WTF?"

I would omit "To put this delicately." - it screams something was wrong but doesn't say what.

"I do not see us doing business together now or anytime in the future." - Sure it is a business, but why not refer to it more softly, like a date or appointment? Why not just leave it at "Unfortunately I won't be able to see you." And why add the part about the future?

"Due to an overabundance of shows" - now I'm really confused? Are you saying you are busy or being honest with him and telling him the issue is the overabundance of his shows/dates?

Well, my 2 cents...no perfect way to handle this

Chevalier · 03-17-2010, 02:28 PM

I'm curious about why a prospective client having seen a lot of other ladies would be seen as negative enough that a lady would decide not to see him. I'm not challenging or denying the validity of that decision, or for that matter any reason that a lady chooses not to see a prospective client. I'm just curious about the rationale.

Does that signal to a lady that he plays so frequently that he may be jaded and wouldn't appreciate seeing her as much as would someone for whom it is more of a rare treat? Or obsessed with P4P and potentially dangerous? At greater risk, because of the increased frequency, of being on LE's radar screen and therefore a potential risk to you as well? Does that suggest that he is unlikely to return to see her again, and she'd prefer to concentrate on potential regulars? Have you seen a correlation between the number of OKs and certain negative personality traits? Does it suggest that he sees escorts as notches on his belt/headboard rather than a person?

I wouldn't -- make that won't -- argue with a lady who expressed any of those reasons, or other reasons for that matter. Just wanting to expand my meager knowledge of how ladies think of this business. So, obviously responses welcome from the original poster or any other lady who has a similar reaction. (PM or email welcome if you'd rather not discuss it publicly.)

Thanks.

P.S. For what it's worth, I have 48 OKs on P411, going back to 2005, which may also strike some ladies as way too many. I don't delete them, though. I realize that it may be a turn-off for some ladies, but if they would not want to see someone who had seen that many ladies, I'll give them the relevant information and leave the decision to them.

growler · 03-17-2010, 04:30 PM

I think your logic is a little skew.( Don't get me wrong I think no lady should see anyone she doesn't want to.) But isn't it a bit like the pot calling the kettle black. LOL. Although why anyone needs 100 ok's is beyond me.

I agree it was right to tell him no, and you needn't give a reason. I've had a nonresponse via p411 on one occasion, and it still bothers me. I would have prefered a simple I'm not interested.