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Eliza · 02-08-2010, 04:15 PM

Hello ladies and gents,

I've been extremely busy with life so haven't had much time to post on here, but recently a problem has risen in my "Eliza" life and I am not quite sure how to tactfully handle it.

I have been seeing a certain gentleman once a month for the past five months. He basically has a standing date with me. We get along wonderfully and I enjoy my dates with him.

However, I just found out that he is good friends with a friend of my father!

That is too close for comfort for me. I don't think he knows my true identity, but still - I don't feel comfortable anymore having him as a client. There are certain aspects of my life that I would prefer "Eliza" to not be in, and family is definitely one of them. I have this awful scenario in my head of me accompanying my father to a dinner party and my client showing up.

That said, how do I tactfully tell this client that I can no longer see him without divulging that "Hey, I think you might have played golf with my father this past week"? (Obviously, there was no golf since snow is on the ground, but you get the point.)

Nicolette Morgandy · 02-08-2010, 04:39 PM

Holy cow, girlie. Let me sleep on this one.

nevergaveitathought · 02-08-2010, 04:42 PM

how bout raise your rates to the breaking point? well you might just be worth it..

charlestudor2005 · 02-08-2010, 04:52 PM

How about being rude and not answering any of his phone calls. Don't talk to him, don't date him, don't communicate at all. I know, I know, it's really hard to do it this way. But you don't clue him in (unless, of course he is an ECCIE member and reads this) and throw up all roadblocks to ever seeing him again. Tough, but it is one way.

atlcomedy · 02-08-2010, 05:11 PM

This is a tough one.

More than likely it is also one that causes a lot of angst that may well have been unnecessary, but such is life.

What is his situation? Married? Seem concerned about his discretion? Are you staying BCD or dining out together?

I'm not implying either party would out the other, but when there is a sense of the possibility of "mutual mass destruction," it gives both sides an added reason to exercise discretion. So if he married, etc. maybe a candid talk about the situation makes sense. When he finds out you are "Chuck's friend Bill's daughter" he may not need any convincing of the need to halt things.

Guest030911 · 02-08-2010, 05:15 PM

Blackmailing them usually gets rid of them pretty quick.

Artie Lange · 02-08-2010, 05:21 PM

Borrow money from him. Then he will expect you to never return his call.

Eliza · 02-08-2010, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

How about being rude and not answering any of his phone calls. Don't talk to him, don't date him, don't communicate at all. I know, I know, it's really hard to do it this way. But you don't clue him in (unless, of course he is an ECCIE member and reads this) and throw up all roadblocks to ever seeing him again. Tough, but it is one way.

That's not a path I wish to take, but I suppose if push comes to shove, it will be the one I choose. No, he does not have an online presence to the best of my knowledge.

He has referred two other gentleman to me, both of whom I would like to have as regular clients. If I turn cold and rude on him, I can see myself losing any potential dates from those two gentleman.

Also, the main concern that has been playing over and over in my head is if he ends up referring me to the mutual friend. Let's just say that I don't necessarily see the mutual friend turning down the hint, and I DO KNOW that the mutual friend would tell my father.

ATL - He's divorced. If he was married, this would be a different scenario and I would possess better leverage.

I have been contemplating too possible options:

1. I come clean and tell him the situation and ask him to either respectfully understand why I must end our dates, or ask him to keep quiet and continue our dates. He seems like a fairly trustworthy person, but there is always that little seed of doubt in the back of my mind! What if it accidentally slips out in the midst of conversation?

2. I simply tell him that my schedule does not allow me enough time for our dates. Of course, if he hears from either of the two clients that he referred to me that I've been on dates with one of them, he is going to know that I am complete FOS. I know I could just mention to them to please keep hush hush, but I'm questioning whether either of them would genuinely not say anything (especially considering the first client is old friends with both of them).

Ahh! I need a stiff drink and a massage.

Going Vagal · 02-08-2010, 05:40 PM

How about this: Stroke his ego and blame yourself. Say the you think you might be falling him but after have a profession relationship with this makes you very uncomfortable and depressed. That you think it would be best for YOU, if you stopped see him - cold turkey.

Just an idea.

Eliza · 02-08-2010, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Going Vagal

How about this: Stroke his ego and blame yourself. Say the you think you might be falling him but after have a profession relationship with this makes you very uncomfortable and depressed. That you think it would be best for YOU, if you stopped see him - cold turkey.

Just an idea.

Ding ding ding. We might have a winner. I'm going to leave out the depressed part though lol. I don't want him to think I'm sitting in bed crying buckets over him while listening to Coldplay.

discreetgent · 02-08-2010, 05:44 PM

Whatever you do it still leaves the possibility wide open that you will meet him in the course of accompanying your father to some event or other and having it end badly ....
I still think you have a fair amount of leverage in the sense that there is no way he would want your dad to know that he was your client.

John Bull · 02-08-2010, 05:57 PM

If you tell him your situation, I guarantee that he will brag to some other friend about his "conquest".
Do the "I may be falling for you" routine and stick to it no matter how much he pleads.

Eliza · 02-08-2010, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by discreetgent

Whatever you do it still leaves the possibility wide open that you will meet him in the course of accompanying your father to some event or other and having it end badly ....
I still think you have a fair amount of leverage in the sense that there is no way he would want your dad to know that he was your client.

Should that ever happen (god forbid), I am fairly certain that he would not give away anything incriminating. Wow, that would make for an excruciatingly awkward situation. I believe that embodies the essence of the phrase "F my life."

I don't want him as a client anymore, that's a fact. You bring up a good point about how I do still have an amount of leverage. I need to sleep over this and weigh the options. I have time on my side right now.

This is completely unrelated, but a friend used the word "discreet" in a text today and spelt it "discrete." I cringed. Your handle reminded me of that lol.

Eliza · 02-08-2010, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Bull

If you tell him your situation, I guarantee that he will brag to some other friend about his "conquest".
Do the "I may be falling for you" routine and stick to it no matter how much he pleads.

That is a good point I haven't thought of. I'd hope that he wouldn't be the type of man to do that, but nothing is a guarantee. Oh god, that would even be worse. I despise being thought of as a conquest. Men who gratuitously kiss-and-tell bother me in ways that most things don't.

rakuguy · 02-08-2010, 06:04 PM

nah, just tell him you're getting back with your ex-boyfriend who just came home from Iraq and you're getting out of the biz. tell him you're an Aquarius and it's destiny. end of story.