In Poor Taste?

[petiteassman]

to the young flat tummy 20 yr old that may not be found in a more experienced mom the maturity and life experiences and sexual comfort and experiences often more than compensate with the mom types. to me it does not matter. if the girl mentions her kids thats great and i am truly interested. if she chooses not to mention, thats fine too. i guess the only place it may come into play is when a provider may use pics in her ads that may be pre childbirth and the girl at the door is with 30 extra lbs post childbirth. the only bad experience i remember relating to a provider and children was one time the provider i was enjoying doggie style had a huge portrait tattoed on her back of her 2 children. that made me feel dirty [thats hard to do] and really made me lose my interest in a beautiful naked woman [thats even harder to do]

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by petiteassman

i was enjoying doggie style had a huge portrait tattoed on her back of her 2 children. that made me feel dirty [thats hard to do] and really made me lose my interest in a beautiful naked woman [thats even harder to do]

disturbing. Yikes!

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by KaraLynnKelley

I recently came across an ad of mine from nearly three years ago. In it, I add my "childlessness" as a positive! I describe how my body is perfect because I've never had any kids...

I saw it yesterday and deleted it...my heart heavy with embarrassment. I felt so ashamed that in my immaturity, I would equate signs of motherhood with unnattractiveness. Wow.

But this is more than just an apology thread, its a marketing one as well. I stopped advertising as childless shortly after I made that ad, and I've never said it since. It hasn't affected my biz at all. Do you guys want your potential providers to disclose their motherhood or not? Do you mothers even find it necessary to do so?

Please go easy on me. Three years past 35 is nothing, but in your 20's, every single years marks a complete change in not only how you think but who you are.

I think its a great step to be able to acknowledge your shortcomings. That is something i see as very positive. I think these days its easy to be labeling yourself as beautyful for "this and that reason" and get away with it being judgemental at times as well. I think its good you even realized your shortcoming.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by petiteassman

that made me feel dirty [thats hard to do] and really made me lose my interest in a beautiful naked woman [thats even harder to do]

But i`d say taht is you being judgemental then? Because it is you rthat feels dirty when a provider is also a mother? Not that i like tattoos like that, but it says more about you on how you envision a provider (a childless probably husband-less person?). Its interesting you mention that, because i also know clients who have a real problem when a provider is married or has a boyfriend (or two :-)...). Because they are judgemental about that job deep inside (no offense...) and can`t imagine how anyone that is not exactly a pimp or an exploiter could tolerate that kind of job. Or they do not want to see someone elses "possession" as provider (in reference to monogamy, where people`s sexuality and love is possessed by only one person).

I once heard a married man who had numerous secret lovers (all single)
telling me that he is not a philanderer, because he does not screw someone elses wife and all his girls are single. So its more about pissing of another man within a highly patriarchal possessive role model
than about being fair to women.

Strange somehow how all these internal judgements affect our ability to perform sexually :-).

[charlestudor2005]

I feel like there are some subjects that are off limits: family, children, politics, religion, most anything very personal. I don't inquire about these things because I think it is too invasive.

OTOH, if a lady makes no secret of it, I feel it is only courteous to inquire on a superficial manner. It helps the connection when you have like experiences or situations. You can talk somewhat vaguely about them, but at the same time make a connection. And after all, isn't making a connection part of the date?

[Guest041811-2]

Originally Posted by London Rayne

Kara you are one of the sweetest people around and admitting you found that tactic not so appealing, only further proves my point.

Thanks London! I've missed you since the PR closed. I'm glad to see you are still around!

Originally Posted by Naomi4u

I have seen women use their kids as a marketing tool telling sob stories via their ads and I think it IS f'd up ugh.

I hear you, girl! It's just plain trashy. BTW, looks like someone had fun in Tampa!

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I once heard a married man who had numerous secret lovers (all single)
telling me that he is not a philanderer, because he does not screw someone elses wife and all his girls are single. So its more about pissing of another man within a highly patriarchal possessive role model
than about being fair to women.

Strange somehow how all these internal judgements affect our ability to perform sexually :-).

Wow! What an interesting perspective, Nina. But I call BS on that guy! Sounds like he was using an elaborate, self-constructed cop-out to justify his behavior.

@The male posters: Thanks for chiming in. I'm glad to hear that motherhood really isnt an issue as long as she separates her mother persona from her provider persona.

@Everyone: thanks for the kind words! I wasn't beating myself up, just really embarrassed. In fact, I think 24 year old Kara is embarrassed by nearly everything 21 year old Kara did and said. It's amazing how just a few years of life experiences can be so humbling.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by KaraLynnKelley

I hear you, girl! It's just plain trashy. BTW, looks like someone had fun in Tampa!

Lots and Lots of fun

Wow! What an interesting perspective, Nina. But I call BS on that guy! Sounds like he was using an elaborate, self-constructed cop-out to justify his behavior.

Ditto! lol. Men!

[alilcurious]

Biggest thing some one can ever do is to admit a mistake. I think everyone has done something and regretted it b/c we knew better but the real point is do we make it right. You did.

[Carrie Hillcrest]

Originally Posted by KaraLynnKelley

@Everyone: thanks for the kind words! I wasn't beating myself up, just really embarrassed. In fact, I think 24 year old Kara is embarrassed by nearly everything 21 year old Kara did and said. It's amazing how just a few years of life experiences can be so humbling.

I was thinking about this earlier tonight. I think most of us made some pretty embarrassing choices when we first started. I sure did! It's what we learn from those mistakes that counts.

[Wakeup]

I took your comment to mean that you didn't have signs of childbirth on your body...that's nothing to be embarassed about...I find signs of childbirth on a woman's body extremely unattractive...everyone has different tastes and is entitled to express their thoughts on their own tastes...

No one took it to say that you were downgrading providers with children (that's not something I normally talk about), just providers whose bodies were destroyed in the process of having them...nothing bad there...it's just an opinion...no need think you did anything wrong...

[petiteassman]

judgmental at all. a married provider or one with a boyfriend does not bother me in the least. i realize i am paying to enjoy this womans body for a small period of time and what / who she does at any other point is of no concern to me. but while doing her doggie style the sight of her childrens faces staring at me while i pound away at mom seems wrong and weird and is a total turnoff. again if a woman has 4 kids or 2 boyfriends does not matter but i wouldnt want them sitting on the edge of the bed while i did their so. for all i care i can meet their husband at a meet and greet but while i am bcd their prescence or reminders are not needed or welcomed.

Originally Posted by ninasastri

But i`d say thatt is you being judgmental then? Because it is you rthat feels dirty when a provider is also a mother? Not that i like tattoos like that, but it says more about you on how you envision a provider (a childless probably husband-less person?). Its interesting you mention that, because i also know clients who have a real problem when a provider is married or has a boyfriend (or two :-)...). Because they are judgemental about that job deep inside (no offense...) and can`t imagine how anyone that is not exactly a pimp or an exploiter could tolerate that kind of job. Or they do not want to see someone elses "possession" as provider (in reference to monogamy, where people`s sexuality and love is possessed by only one person).

I once heard a married man who had numerous secret lovers (all single)
telling me that he is not a philanderer, because he does not screw someone elses wife and all his girls are single. So its more about pissing of another man within a highly patriarchal possessive role model
than about being fair to women.

Strange somehow how all these internal judgements affect our ability to perform sexually :-).

[Heidi the Housewife]

Aloha everyone

I'm a Real MILF and advertise as such and that is as far as i'll go into my private life. I have clients who I have known for years (I consider them friends as well) and maybe a few may know more about my private life, but that's as far as i'll take it.

For the Gentlemen who prefer not seeing a MILF, that is their choice and I respect that.

I too have been offended when I see postings about how "passing a watermelon" through your birth canal leaves you stretched out(your no longer tight), when that was never my situation. I tend to ignore those post as I know for myself, it's not one bit a true statement ,for me anyway

Thank-you for your post, I for one respect and appreciate it

Aloha from Denver

the MILF next door

Heidi the Housewife

[CowboyTy]

It's really none of my business if they have kids. I see no reason to disclose it, unless there are severe signs of recent childbirth that you can't see in pictures.