Taking a provider on vacation? Opinions needed!

[Bijou Neko]

Originally Posted by ywn

Just to add more info, I will be covering all charges for the vacation including flights, resort, limo, boat, food, drinks, spa anything you can think of basically. Essentially free vacation for her.

No, it will not be a "free vacation". It will be work with some vacation-like aspects. No matter how nice the setting, it's still work if a provider has to cater to your wishes, deal with you 24-7, be "on" all the time, not fart or pick her nose, wear heels & makeup at times when she normally wouldn't, and so forth. This is true no matter how nice a guy you may be or how well you think the two of you hit it off.

[JayceeRivers]

Vacations are sweet and thoughtful things. If the lady is honorable and at least a good person she will appreciate the thought if nothing else. That being said many things could go right and many things could go wrong.

As you have done overnights I expect you have seen some of her flaws. Flaws are usually a shocker to gentlemen. Before you can hone in on your expectations you do need to speak with her. Some ladies, for instance, prefer some privacy on a vacation with a gentleman. Not every girl is comfortable going number 2 in front or around someone. She may have medical or sleep habits she prefers to keep private.

Unless she is a goddess she may not be able to go 7 days straight with a sexual marathon. This expectation will likely need to be addressed.

Cost of vacationing can be high for the lady. Loss of income, family obligations, bills ect. So only she will know the price of a vacation.

When I have been swept away on vacation in the past one went really amazing the other was okay. two different gentlemen. The second was more of a experiment. I had never been skiing before so there was no telling if I would like it or not. Turns out, not so much. The first was cancun, We both had an amazing time. The first knew my flaws and my habits so it was not a shock or surprise to find that I absolutely must have my tea at bedtime, or that I sleep with a eye mask. The second did not know me that personally so discovering I look like a banshee in the morning was a big surprise.

I would say if you know the lady very well I would talk to her and see what she thinks about the idea.

As for the word love... I do hope you meant you liked her a lot. In love and escort are not words that should go together. It is not uncommon for an escort to marry her client however it is not common either. Normally this happens towards the end of a career or if she really felt the chemistry. Be careful about the word love. It is a dangerous word that more often than not ends in heartache pain and betrayal.

[kami405]

I have not read all of the posts...just a few.
I am a bit jaded from life in general when it comes to human motivations.
If you're new and you state you're in live with a provider....I ask.....how well can you know this person.
I have a client I care for quite a bit...I do not love him nor am I in love with him.
I feel you are setting yourself up for a HUGE fall....I have read many threads about love in the hobby....yes I believe its possible....I believe more that it is usually ONE sided.

Don't let your heart rule your mind.
You know this person as a PROVIDER......do you know her as her real self.
In my experience in life......people generally show you what they want you to see.
Prior to becoming a provider...I worked in the corporate world as a Human resource manager......so I have heard and seen everything and believe very little. I have learned how to read genuine behavior from rehearsed behavior.....but have gotten burned SEVERAL times.
My advice would be to tread very lightly and DO NOT take this person on vacation with you.
I wish you so much luck and hope you are not destined for heartbreak.

[Novatx]

Well unless she "loves" you back, she'll be there with you in body but not in mind and the experience might not be what you imagined it to be!

I wouldn't do it if I were you.

[ywn]

So much great perspectives here. I really appreciate all of them.

I wanted to clarify a bit. I don't think I'm in love with her. When I originally said love, I more so meant really really like. It's a crush at this point. I'm not sure if it will turn into love. That's not really much of a concern for me right now.

In short, I want the experience to be like dating, the beginning stages of dating where we share a huge amount of affection, passion and lust. As I've said, I don't expect constant sex at all. Maybe once a day or even maybe just a few times during the week. I'm the type of guy looking for affection over sexual pleasure. I do enjoy sex with her immensely. But I treasure more of the time and affection we share.

[Zhivago52]

Give it some time before you make such a decision. Get some hobby experience with others as well.

[Novatx]

Originally Posted by ywn

In short, I want the experience to be like dating, the beginning stages of dating where we share a huge amount of affection, passion and lust. As I've said, I don't expect constant sex at all. Maybe once a day or even maybe just a few times during the week. I'm the type of guy looking for affection over sexual pleasure. I do enjoy sex with her immensely. But I treasure more of the time and affection we share.

First stages of dating where you share a lot of affection?? That's when 2 people TRULY LIKE each other ! Not sure if you got to read what I posted earlier, but unless she feels what you feel for her, then trust me, she will be somewhere else (mentally) the whole time and yes the whole thing will be just another job, and MAYBE not quite what you imagined! Good luck to you both

[slow_and_low]

yeah i thought the same thing about vacationing with a provider when I was a newbie.

then I banged others besides her and the thought went away

[ywn]

I guess what I need is a sugar baby. Do girls turn to sugar baby?

[rrabbit6926]

Usually SB turn into escorts not the other way around.

[Old-T]

I read your post and had two immediate thoughts:
1--An extended date with the right lady, in the right situation, can be amazingly wonderful
2—From what you say in your post, DON’T DO IT, you aren’t ready.

I take what you said literally—that you are new to this corner of the world. Nothing wrong with that at all, but the important part to me is therefore you have not known this lady long either. But you say you are in love with her. Put the escorting issue aside, I caution anyone to be convinced that they are in love with another person after just a short time. When the initial introduction between two people is heavily related to sex (and I am not saying there is anything wrong with that) too often the sexual enjoyment makes mutual attraction, mutual pleasure, or friendship seem like love. They are a far cry from love, and mistaking them does not usually lead to good results.

The first question you really, really need to ask yourself is are you actually in love with her? If you can’t honestly have this conversation with yourself (telling us here makes no difference either way), than you are not. Part “B” of the question, to you, what does “in love” mean?

Assume for a moment you can honestly tell yourself ‘Yes, I love this person I have not known very long.” Then the second question is exactly what Maxi said, ask her what SHE thinks. If you love her but she doesn’t love you, walk away and treasure the memories. If she feels similarly—and she has a similar definition of what it means to be in love, then sit with her and talk. At that stage this is no longer a business trip, and to treat it like such will ruin something that might be very special. By the way: if it is not a business trip to you, but it is to her, then either you accept the relationship on her terms, or walk away.

But suppose you decide you are not really in love with her, but as a friend of mine says, you used the word loosely to mean you really like her, you enjoy your dates with her, and there is some chemistry between you. Maybe down the road it might lead to really being in love, but since you are talking about her price I am guessing you are not really there yet. So then what?

Assuming you really enjoy her company on a lot of levels, here would be my advice:
--Have you done an overnight with her?
--Have you been out to dinner, taken a walk through a park or museum or show—on or off the clock.
--In other words, is there enough to keep you both interested and attracted those 20 hours or so a day when you are not awake in bed?

--If “yes”, then try a long weekend. A long weekend can turn out to be far more challenging than an overnight, and a week can be forever. What you are talking about will be quite expensive and you want it to be 99+% chance of success for both of you—that kind of trip really can’t be successful for only one of you.

Assuming you have gotten this far, the issue of cost. There is only one right answer: ASK HER, or better yet, talk with her. Tell her what you would like to do, tell her that obviously all expenses are on you (they are), but her rate of $400x24x7 is far more than you can manage. She already knows that, but let her answer—what she says will give you much of what you need to know. I have done 3 days for the cost of one and a week for the cost of two overnights—but these were ladies I had known a long time and very well. Don’t expect that—you are asking about totally uncharted territory as far as pricing. The “right” amount is whatever the two of you agree upon.

The last question is the easiest: every time I have done something like that I have expected just what I would expect with any other young lady I would take on a vacation. Lots of time together, lots of fun activities and memories during the day whether it was hiking to an Anasazi ruin, strolling the Prado, or lazing on the beach. Some incredibly sensual nights, and some nights just falling asleep in her arms because we were worn out from the day.


Good luck with whatever you decide. It is definitely high risk/high reward territory.



PS: When in doubt always listen to MAX, and always take Wakeup with a huge gran of salt (or a whole box).

[Tiffani Jameson]

Honestly, I don't think that he meant that he was head over heels in love. There's nothing wrong with loving the way a lady makes you feel. Old-T is one of the most objective men in this board, and he offers great advice.

This lady sounds amazing. But what you should do is talk to her first. Discuss expectations, and you should expect her to need time on a daily basis to check in with family and have alone time. If this is something she's never done before, I would definitely make it a shorter vacation. It's possible that she may not be sure of her needs on a trip of this magnitude. Otherwise, she should be able to tell you how much she charges.

I've done longer vacations but most definitely with friends I've known for years. You may need to spend more time together, easing into the 7 days.

All the best,
Tiffani

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by ywn

Just to add more info, I will be covering all charges for the vacation including flights, resort, limo, boat, food, drinks, spa anything you can think of basically. Essentially free vacation for her.

Nice! I have accompanied several gentlemen on vacations ranging from 4 days to 2 weeks. It can work and be a wonderful memory for you both! However, please remember that the lady is taking a lot of time away from her normal income-producing schedule and may have bills to pay while she's gone, so she may not be ABLE to do it just as a "vacation." She will probably have to leave some funds behind to cover regular expenses, and it would be a nice gesture if you gave her a wee bit of spending money to keep on her for incidentals and souvenirs.

No, she should not expect an amount based on her hourly rate X so many hours. It would have to be a "package" deal. I came to different arrangements with all of my traveling companions.

Also, bear in mind that bad things often happen completely out of anyone's control (Murphy's Law), but she will have to stay, as others have pointed out, "on" the entire time and be happy, smiling, energetic, enthusiastic, and patient no matter what, as to do otherwise, to be "human" and tired, crabby, exasperated, disappointed, would be detrimental to how you view her from now on. Please don't expect perfection, as that is hard to maintain.

Best to discuss it with her. Make her an offer! Have fun.

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by ywn

I guess what I need is a sugar baby. Do girls turn to sugar baby?

Yes, it can and does happen. But there is no formula or standard path--if it does happen. I know a few ladies who stopped escorting to become a "kept woman" of one sort or another. In all the cases I know personally there were two common factors (and I make no generalization that it applies beyond these few ladies)

1. There was a definite chemistry between the lady and the man involved.

2. The ladies each had some other specific goal, and the sugar baby/mistress roll allowed them the supplemental income and as important, the free time to pursue their primary interests.

I apologize I did not read your subsequent posts before replying, you obviously do know the lady better than I had assumed. Again, I wish you the best of luck.

PS: Don't worry about labels. What you agree to is what matters, not the label you or others might put on it.

[ywn]

Wow! Old-t, ur advices are amazingly detailed and insightful! Thanks so much for the info.

It sounds like I should be ok actually. I don't expect perfection 24/7. I'm ok with paying her some compensation for her loss of income producing time. And yeah, I'm not madly in love. But I definitely have a big crush on her. I just want a normal vacation as if she were my gf. She can get tired, disappointed, pissed and whatever a normal human would feel. In fact, I prefer that over just perfection all the time.

As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that what I really want is a normal boy girl dating relationship. Although, I definitely don't want anything serious. And I don't want this relationship 24/7/365. I just want it here and there, for vacations. Am I targeting the wrong person here then? Should be finding a sugar baby instead of a normal provider?