Welcome to ECCIE - Sign up today!

jad2826 · 03-29-2015, 07:08 PM

So i Need everyones opinion. Here is the story.. I have a sugarbaby i see here in odessa when im in town working. She is an R.N. at ORMC. We have been seeing eachother for 4 years. Im married w/ 4 kids in a different state and she is career orientated at the hospital. She came to me yesterday and asked if i could help her have a baby of her own. She said she would raise it on her own and never ask me to be part of its life or help support it. She knows im married with kids of my own and she makes good money as a nurse and could care for the baby by herself. She is not into the whole love scene or relationship scene and thinks this is a good idea. When she explained it to me it sounded good and all but im hesitant.. What do you guys think and what would you do?

mastablasta · 03-29-2015, 08:01 PM

Restart this thread in the men's forum. Great topic btw.

westtexasbrowser · 03-29-2015, 08:58 PM

No way!

1) You can be legally required to support that child.
2) Paternity tests can be used to "prove" your infidelity to your spouse.
3) Paternity tests can be used later in life by your child to track you down and ask you WFT were you thinking?

jad2826 · 03-29-2015, 09:32 PM

I agree with you. I pretty much made up my mind to say no. I just wanted your guys opinions on what you would do. I have to much to loose if something like this went wrong. She makes it sound good but theres no way i would do it. I did consider it but like i said i have to much to loose to go through with this something like this. Has this happened with anyone else?

Phrasing · 03-31-2015, 10:45 AM

I wonder what the legal implications of this would be.....Is there an agreement that a lawyer could draft that specifically said you agree to but have no part in the childs life? Obviously too public because of your background. If the SB was 100% truthful and you got her pregnant and never asked you for anything.....said she didn't know who the father was and didn't care...could she legally tell the child you can't search for your dad until they are 18? Just questions

scsholar · 03-31-2015, 12:21 PM

I wouldn't even consider it unless I was single with no dependents.

I honestly would be leary on having relations with her simply because it sounds like she is catching feelings.

jad2826 · 03-31-2015, 02:07 PM

Thanks for everyones imput i really appreciate it. i talked to her the other day and told her no i wasnt going to do it. She was ok with it. a little bummed out but fuck it my life my decision. And Scholar trust me she isnt catching feelings. i should have put this in the beginning but she was a girlfriend. (a hot one) its like how do you say, that t.v. show modern family were those two gay guys adopt a baby and raise it. thats what she wants except she wants to do the whole prego thing and experience it all instead of adopting. But i did talk to her and told her No . Has anyone else had a similair situation to this?

Chief62 · 03-31-2015, 03:57 PM

State law won't allow an agreement to avoid responsibility. If she ever went on state assistance they might hunt you down for a monthly check. Her intentions may be honest but future events may force things she can't control.

babarumraisin · 03-31-2015, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief62

State law won't allow an agreement to avoid responsibility. If she ever went on state assistance they might hunt you down for a monthly check. Her intentions may be honest but future events may force things she can't control.

Agree, Child Support is an obligation that you owe the child, not the mother. And you owe it until the child turns 18. There is a possibility that 18 years and nine months from conception the child turns up on your doorstep and says that you owe him/her 18 years of back child support plus interest. The mother has no legal authority to deny the child this money any more than you do. And of course this doesn't even bring into question the possibility that something changes with your Sugarbaby or her baby between now and 18 years from now. If you choose to bring a baby into the world be prepared to take care of it.

Backbone11 · 04-01-2015, 08:31 AM

man this is probably not what you want to hear, but I agree with a previous statement. You need to cut ties and find a new play toy. She is developing dangerous emotions for you and may cross a line that will forever be unrepairable. She may compromise your safety, possibly tamper with your sexual protections. I feel at this point, she may have just become more of a risk than she may be worth to you and your existing marital/family situation. Be very careful from here on out. Your decisions will have long lasting and far reaching implications if you continue this relationship. Don't fool yourself, it has become just that. It is no longer a meaningless sexual/financial benefit for her or you for that matter. The mere fact that you even considered this a possibility, even if it was only for the length of time it required you to post your question tells me you're in a vulnerable state emotional weakness. Just my thoughts from afar. Hope you are having a stellar week.

Captain47 · 04-01-2015, 10:30 AM

My recommendation from someone that has had 2 sb's....Don't do it, it can only complicate your life.

I would also be interested in how you met the sb and if she has any friends interested in a sd (me).

FBSMLUVR · 04-01-2015, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by babarumraisin

Agree, Child Support is an obligation that you owe the child, not the mother. And you owe it until the child turns 18. There is a possibility that 18 years and nine months from conception the child turns up on your doorstep and says that you owe him/her 18 years of back child support plus interest. The mother has no legal authority to deny the child this money any more than you do. And of course this doesn't even bring into question the possibility that something changes with your Sugarbaby or her baby between now and 18 years from now. If you choose to bring a baby into the world be prepared to take care of it.

This is completely true and I would run like a mofo. Otherwise, and this is only IMHO, if you do choose to continue this relationship and you're playing bareback, and I'm not in anyway assuming you are, but if you are, it's time to start covering that bad boy up. If she's looking to have a kiddo, she may quit using birth control and it only takes one lil fishy to make a baby. Not saying she would do it intentionally, but....

I had a SB when I lived in Houston. I've actually had two. In my experience it always starts out great. They get their allowance, we set up dates, great sex, we'd fuck like porn stars, overnighters, no questions asked, they cum and go per what we've agreed upon NSA, and then all of a sudden things start to get a little...umm...how should I say it....uncomfy. They start asking questions, maybe get a little demanding and/or attached. And hey, them getting attached is fine if that's what you want. I was single, no SO, but wasn't what I was looking for at the time. And both times it happened within about 4-6 months. So....bam

I blew it up and ended it. Thing is, if you can find a SB, they sure the fuck are a LOT cheaper than these providers, and many times, much more attractive. Anywho, my 2 cents....

Good luck to ya my friend....

jad2826 · 04-01-2015, 07:11 PM

Captain-- I met her through work. she delivered parts to my office while going to school. Ive had a few in the odessa area. there easy to find. just look for like waitressess driving shitty cars with a car seat or school books in em. when you find one you like go there a few times a month and after talking a few times ask her if she would like to work for you on the side. one sb i had i went to the licqour store and the clerk was really hot and i pretended i was on the phone talking to someone about a so called interview i had early in the day and that i didnt hire her and if he knw anyone to send them to my office. I made sure she heard and as soon as i hung up the phone she asked about the job and i gave her my card and told her to call me the next day. she did and i saw her for 8 months and gave her $800 a month and saw her 3-5 times a week. amazing fuck. it worked for me might work for you

FBSMLVR--- i totally agree with you, SB are way better $$ wise. And i cleared things up with her and she is okay with it. told her no because of my family and it didnt change anything. and yes i wrap it up with everyone except my wife. But everything turned out good and im glad for everyones opinion.

westtexasbrowser · 04-01-2015, 08:26 PM

If you want to help the SB have a baby, offer to pay for IUI or IVF for her. The facility can provide her with sperm from an anonymous donor (not you). IUI is much cheaper and quicker that IVF if she doesn't have fertility issues.

Sure, it's an expensive and sex-less way to get her pregnant, but it'll benefit you both. You don't get caught up in being a baby-daddy, and she get's a baggage-less baby that is all hers.

Lucky Lady · 04-17-2015, 09:20 PM

That's what i was thinking westtx.. if she has a good job at a hospital she has a network of her own.. IVF may be better.. you have a family,my trucker friend has two families in two states and can't stand either one stating he wishes he didn't give into his SB.. I am glad to be fixed!! If i were you i would not..but i am not you.. good luck in your choice.