In a Serious Relationship With an ASP? Guys, Could You Handle It?

[London Rayne]

Originally Posted by Shayla

I agree. I couldn't do it, either. I met someone that was willing to "try" it but I said no. If anything unfortunate were to happen, I wouldn't want anyone close to me to be involved.
Besides, I can see the guilt eventually eating away at me and I probably wouldn't enjoy this as much. It's a lot easier when you're only accountable to yourself. My thoughts on this, anyway.

A girl after my own heart.

[guest031513-1]

Technically I am not any less likely to date a hobby than a non-hobby girl. Surely they don't nag differently because they are a provider.

[Guest120615-3]

What someone does to earn a living doesn't necessarily invalidate their ability to form loving, committed relationships. It's finding the right person that makes it crucial for any relationship to succeed.

By nature, I'm not jealous or insecure so I believe I would be able to handle this type of commitment. However, no one knows unless in the appropriate situation. My sole condition would be absolute honesty. I have an uncanny ability to smell out deception which I think propagates a relationship's downfall.

[Naughty Destiny]

Originally Posted by London Rayne

That's not what I consider love...it's lust and fun.

Just like you stated, different strokes for different folks. But in my humble opinion, love is indeed what makes this type of relationship be able to work (for me anyways). My significant other has been playing in this hobby for 20 years, I have been in this industry for 6 years, and we have been together for 3 years. We love one another enough to understand that sex is just sex. Sex has nothing to do with love, well, at least not for us anyways. I love my boyfriend, therefore I want him to be happy and do the things that he enjoys. If he enjoys seeing escorts, I fully support that decision, as he fully supports my decision to be an escort (because he loves me).

In my humble opinion, what love really consists of is honesty, openness, and acceptance. Honesty being the key factor. Being an escort has nothing to do with how much I love my boyfriend. I can promise you that I love him as much as I would if I were in any other line of work. This type of relationship is in close relations to a relationship of swingers, which usually consists of both parties having sex with other people. This does not mean that either party love their significant other any less, it simply means that they are open with their sexuality. I find this to be true in my relationship.

I can only judge what works best for me and my life. Of course only I know what is right for me. I understand that this type of relationship is not for everybody, as we all have different sets of values, different ideas, and different standards, and that is okay. This is what makes us individuals. I cannot judge for anybody else if this type of relationship would be okay or not, as I only walk in my own shoes. But I can say for sure, with 100% certainty, that just because I am in this type of relationship, it does not mean that me or my significant other love one another less than if we did not participate in this type of open relationship.

[Naughty Destiny]

Sorry, I accidentally made a duplicate post of my last post and try to delete it, but could not figure out how to delete. Sorry for the inconvenience.

[Naomi4u]

Originally Posted by London Rayne

I would never be doing this if I had someone special in my life. I would also never date a guy who thought this was some how "cool." Different strokes.

Originally Posted by Shayla

I agree. I couldn't do it, either. I met someone that was willing to "try" it but I said no. If anything unfortunate were to happen, I wouldn't want anyone close to me to be involved.
Besides, I can see the guilt eventually eating away at me and I probably wouldn't enjoy this as much. It's a lot easier when you're only accountable to yourself. My thoughts on this, anyway.

Exactly!

[jughead1171]

If we both started out in the hobby and met that way maybe and that is a big maybe and probably not one I would try. I never say never because you can't always predict how you might react to different situations. I would probably want us both to retire to be happy.

[London Rayne]

Originally Posted by Naughty Destiny

Just like you stated, different strokes for different folks. But in my humble opinion, love is indeed what makes this type of relationship be able to work (for me anyways). My significant other has been playing in this hobby for 20 years, I have been in this industry for 6 years, and we have been together for 3 years. We love one another enough to understand that sex is just sex. Sex has nothing to do with love, well, at least not for us anyways. I love my boyfriend, therefore I want him to be happy and do the things that he enjoys. If he enjoys seeing escorts, I fully support that decision, as he fully supports my decision to be an escort (because he loves me).

In my humble opinion, what love really consists of is honesty, openness, and acceptance. Honesty being the key factor. Being an escort has nothing to do with how much I love my boyfriend. I can promise you that I love him as much as I would if I were in any other line of work. This type of relationship is in close relations to a relationship of swingers, which usually consists of both parties having sex with other people. This does not mean that either party love their significant other any less, it simply means that they are open with their sexuality. I find this to be true in my relationship.

I can only judge what works best for me and my life. Of course only I know what is right for me. I understand that this type of relationship is not for everybody, as we all have different sets of values, different ideas, and different standards, and that is okay. This is what makes us individuals. I cannot judge for anybody else if this type of relationship would be okay or not, as I only walk in my own shoes. But I can say for sure, with 100% certainty, that just because I am in this type of relationship, it does not mean that me or my significant other love one another less than if we did not participate in this type of open relationship.

I guess I was going by the Bible's definition of love lol. I don't judge or care what others do, but if the only way I can get a guy to love me is to let us both screw random people and raise our children into that, I will pass. When I am in love, I have no need for anyone else. My desire is to please him and only him, yet I don't let sex rule my life. There are so many other things I find significant in healthy relationships, there really is no need for having other people in it. Your situation is different because you are BOTH into this lifestyle. I would never be here if I had an SO.

I can agree that you can have sex without love, but I totally disagree that sex has nothing to do with love...are you serious? I think I dated a guy for like 3 weeks and nearly cried when I was about to go on a date with a client. You can say it's just sex, but your mind does not exactly leave the room nor do your emotions if you have any. I am not numb yet I guess. I hope I never am.

If it works for other people, more power to em. I just could not imagine ever being with someone who literally felt nothing no matter what I did.

[Naughty Destiny]

if the only way I can get a guy to love me is to let us both screw random people

I surely hope that by screwing other people is not the only way that you can get a guy to love you. I'm sure that's not why my boyfriend loves me, but some examples of why he does love me would include: I'm smart, compassionate, caring, loving, funny, fun to be with, I'm sexy, I love animals, I care about his needs, I listene to him, and I love him unconditionally.

and raise our children into that, I will pass.

If it is acceptable for you, why is it not acceptable for your children? FWIW I cannot have children, and my SO had a vascatemty years before we met, so no children are in our future. BUT I know plenty of mothers in this industry. Do I think that they love their children less because they are in this industry? No, not at all.

I would never be here if I had an SO.

And you're entitled to that decision. Only you can decide what's right for you, as only I know what's right for me. Does that make either of us wrong? In my opinion, no. I am happy being in this industry and having an S0.

I totally disagree that sex has nothing to do with love...are you serious?

Yes, I am. That's why I said at least for us anyways. Like I said, I only know what works for me. What has to do with love, for me and my relationship, include trust, honesty, openness, communication and compassion.

I think I dated a guy for like 3 weeks and nearly cried when I was about to go on a date with a client.

I'm sorry you felt that way.

You can say it's just sex, but your mind does not exactly leave the room nor do your emotions if you have any.

Okay, now I just feel like you're insulting me. No judgment past, huh? Of course I have emotions. I am a human being, just as you are. I CAN say it's just sex, because that's what works for ME. And when I have sex it is just the physical act, yeah, maybe more emotions are tied in with it with my significant other than with some random dude, but maybe not.

I am not numb yet I guess. I hope I never am.

Nor am I. But thanks for insinuating that I am...

I just could not imagine ever being with someone who literally felt nothing no matter what I did.

I'm sorry, but I don't understand the lines of thinking behind this statement. I never said anything about my significant other not being able to feel.

[London Rayne]

I am not going to argue the basic premise of sex and love with you on a hooker board honey. If you honestly think sex has nothing to do with love when people are IN LOVE, I really don't know what to say lol. I sure as hell want sex from the person I am in love with.

No I don't want my daughter to be a hooker and no I don't want her to be in a relationship that's based on self gratification and SEX! That's what I don't understand about your post. You claim your relationship is not about sex, yet it's the one thing both of you MUST HAVE from other people??

No need to explain...we just have different views on things, and neither of us is wrong. I can't have someone I claim to love and not feel a damn thing when I am sucking off random strangers everyday...you can, and that's your thing. At the same time you say you have emotions, yet you also say you "don't feel anything" because it's just sex. Well which is it? Either you are so numb it does not affect you, or you have emotions that are the contrary.

You flat out said you don't care if your guy is with someone else, meaning you "don't feel" anything about it. That's what I am saying. If it did not bother my SO that I was out with strange men, I would not be with him. That's just odd IMO. He should very well want me to be faithful and only with him and if he loved me, he would not want some strange d*ck in my mouth...unless of course HIS own desires wanted the same thing so he didn't care what I did.

Clearly that is what you have. Neither of you give a crap if you screw other people. That's fine, it's just not what I consider normal in my own life. Just because I am a hooker part-time does not mean I want to be treated like one 24/7. I want a normal, faithful, relationship that is not based on getting a nut from random strangers.

Ok.

[burkalini]

Originally Posted by mwebber

What someone does to earn a living doesn't necessarily invalidate their ability to form loving, committed relationships. It's finding the right person that makes it crucial for any relationship to succeed.

By nature, I'm not jealous or insecure so I believe I would be able to handle this type of commitment. However, no one knows unless in the appropriate situation. My sole condition would be absolute honesty. I have an uncanny ability to smell out deception which I think propagates a relationship's downfall.

Been there. Done that for a year. No way ever again

[pfunkdenver]

Originally Posted by London Rayne

I am not going to argue the basic premise of sex and love with you on a hooker board honey.

Wait! That's exactly what you did in your entire post! I'm guessing you, and you're future SO won't be doing any swinging?

[Cpalmson]

If were to date a gal and come to find out that she is an ASP, I could probably handle it. I'm not really the jealous type. Having said that, I'd never purposely seek out an ASP for some sort of relationship. I guess it would all boil down to how one defines serious relationship. If it was something long term but open-ended where we could see other people and neither of us have an issue with it, I'd be okay with it. However, if it came to the point where I considered her to be "the one", then it would be time to talk about a change in lifestyle-- for the both of us.

[DarthMaul]

I voted "No" because I have a definition of relationship as being "one on one"? If I ever got serious about any relationship, she could not be a provider.

The same goes if that if I decided to get in a relationship, I would stop hobbying.

[Guest082513-02]

I know im not a guy <sticking hand down pants to confirm> ok so yea im not a guy but i voted anyway. If I were in a serious relationship I would def not be doing this. Like ive said before.. this is about the love of boink with the bonus of being able to pay off student loans... lol If i were dating he would be boinking me 24/7 like a rabid monkey on viagra overdose. I wouldnt date a guy who was hobbying either.
I dont judge anyone that does, infact I know many marriages are saved because of hobbying.. What ever makes people happy i say go for it.
But.... i LOVE LOVE this boink with no strings attached kinda thing! So i think its pretty safe to say I wont have to worry about this question becoming anything that Id have to REALLY think about... not any time soon!