What if anything could provoke you into taking your own life?.

[Katy Alexander]

I apologize in advance for the morbid topic,and if it's too much I will understand if the mods need to remove it. I just found out that one of my friends from Edwards doggy play group took his life last week. From what I understand from talking to mutual friends the main reason was financial,but I would imagine that there was more to it .

It is hard for me to understand suicide because I have known too many people who just wanted to live a full life for better , or worse.Although I can understand if your health is really bad, or you are in extreme pain , and the quality of life is just no longer there.That exception aside the other reasons almost always seem fixable if you can reach out to the right people.

So, I guess my question is do you ever think that there is a good reason to take your own life, and what would justify a good reason?

[TexTushHog]

I never understood the impulse until I developed a case of major depression. Then I fully understood how people could take their own life. Read up on depression. It's not just a case of being down a bit. It is an unrelenting absence of pleasure in any form for weeks and months. And even that description doesn't do it justice. Great writers like William Styron have tried to describe it and failed. But do some reading. Then, perhaps, you'll have a better understanding.

[am-a-pleaser]

I've known three poeple who committed suicide. With them, I think the common reason was extreme dispair. Each one's dispair was brought on by different circumstances. Hope keeps most of us going through tough times. When hope is lost during those tough times, other emotions can take hold.

Becky I am so sorry for your loss.

[Reina]

Becky to my understanding sometimes there's no good reason, people snap and you will rather follow what comes out of your head. Speaking from experience, you might have financial,family,relationship and mental issues, we tend to act different in any kind of situation. I might be leaning more in suicide while you would probably think of getting a help somewhere, or while am sad I'll get a bottle of Vodka and Valium you might prefer going out running to release your stress .
The whole point is we think and react differently, but for every suicide there's an underline issue that started before the act.

Scenario
Layoff+No money+wife and kids left+file bankruptcy+I cannot get help from anyone=Suicide

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by am-a-pleaser

I've known three poeple who committed suicide. With them, I think the common reason was extreme dispair. Each one's dispair was brought on by different circumstances. Hope keeps most of us going through tough times. When hope is lost during those tough times, other emotions can take hold.

Becky I am so sorry for your loss.

Originally Posted by TexTushHog

I never understood the impulse until I developed a case of major depression. Then I fully understood how people could take their own life. Read up on depression. It's not just a case of being down a bit. It is an unrelenting absence of pleasure in any form for weeks and months. And even that description doesn't do it justice. Great writers like William Styron have tried to describe it and failed. But do some reading. Then, perhaps, you'll have a better understanding.

Yep that's pretty much the scenario. Depresssion, dispair and feeling you are out of options.

The other thing to understand is everything is relative and dispair has a lot to do with one's perspective. What one person might look at and say, "that's not that bad," is dispair for another.

[TexRich]

I don't think this thread is morbid. I think its a good thread starter, much more than of some of the other lame stuff started here in fact.

Like TTH mentioned, I have also had depression and took such medication as lexapro, wellbutron and pristiq. It didn't help, if anything I think it made it worse. Counseling from a professional or perhaps a religious type from your church is much better than medication. I got to the point I had to stop taking the medication and it was kinda of rough at first but now I feel much better along with some counseling, and not to mention reading some good books.

But, as bad as things got for me, the thought of actually killing myself was never an option I seriously considered. I am Roman Catholic, and I was always told if you kill yourself you will be damned for eternity. And, I know as bad as things are here on Earth, the thought of burning in hell is going to much worse. LOL. Maybe its a silly thing to an atheist or other religions, but it has kept me from ever getting to that brink.

I know a few people in my life that have committed suicide, and my brother attempted it three times. Some people call suicide the cowards way out. I know the effect of the family and friends of those that commit suicide and that's another reason why I couldn't go through with it. I wouldn't want to put them through it. The third time my brother tried to commit suicide, I wasn't sad for him any longer, I was very angry with him because he was making my parents miserable and helpless.

[charlestudor2005]

Becky, I too am sorry for your loss.

How many of us have had thoughts of suicide at one time or another? I think it is a pretty common phenomenon. However, few attempt, and even fewer are successful.

I, too, believe it is a product of extreme depression and despair without hope. I thought it was pretty fake when Jesse Jackson's slogan "Give Hope a Chance" was bandied about by him and his followers. However, I believe hope to be the perfect inoculation against suicide. As long as you have something to live for, you won't willingly die.

[Katy Alexander]

Thank you for your posts, I do agree that it is hard for me to understand extreme depression because so far at least I have been lucky enough to have never experienced it on that level. I do have enough friends some who are on medication for depression to know that it is not just a case of feeling down.But still it is hard to fully understand until you have been there yourself

It is very sad that a person could feel that isolated when there are almost always people around who would want to help.It seems like it is far more common for men to isolate, and not try to reach out when things go wrong .I wish that people could realize that our lives are always changing, and from there things can only get better if they can just get through the rough times.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Becky,

I was going to start a topic about death in general and how do people feel about it last week and didn't get to it because of other activities, so this topic is good and certainly germane to me.

There was only one time in my life that I thought being dead would be better then being alive. And it was over a boyfriend. How dumb. But when you add alcohol with extreme depression, and you lose the man that you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, that is what can happen.

I believe that a lot of people commit suicide as a result of some sort of chemical imbalance. Whether that imbalance is chemical or organic ... if that person had just waited another hour or three or whatever small amount of time, they would probably still be alive.

It's those single moments of time that will change everything with finality and affect the living in ways unimaginable.

To answer your question, I cannot think of anything except if something happened to my child, or if I became SO ill as to be better off dead. But when I was in a very bad way a few years ago, suicide wasn't an option or considered even though I was very ill. I'm a believer of euthanasia, sometimes, and I would find a way to do it. But I could completely change my mind when the time comes.

As I mentioned above, I've been thinking of death a lot lately.

I would tell my family first, they would be appalled, but I would wish to die with some dignity although I'm one of those, "do not go gently into the night" types overall.

Elisabeth

P.S. For some reason, I'm one of those people that want to go to heaven but don't wish to die. Haven't figured that one out, yet.

[oden]

I am so sorry for your loss. The only case that I have experienced was the father of a close friend of mine who left a note and it was obvious that personal embarrassment and isolation was his reason. The fact that he was surrounded by a family that was active, engaged, and popular made it all the more shocking. I think that telling someone that they are important, meaningful and loved is the most important thing that we can do for each other to help get us through the times when we are not feeling appreciated or living up to the goals we set for ourselves.

I always try to remind myself of the happy times when I had nothing but a good book and a bed and a few good people I enjoyed being around. However, once you have people depending on you the equation changes. I think that as we get older we realize that life gives you ups and downs. Tragically, it is more common that teenagers, more than any group loose hope.

[TexTushHog]

Originally Posted by TexRich

Like TTH mentioned, I have also had depression and took such medication as lexapro, wellbutron and pristiq. It didn't help, if anything I think it made it worse. Counseling from a professional or perhaps a religious type from your church is much better than medication. I got to the point I had to stop taking the medication and it was kinda of rough at first but now I feel much better along with some counseling, and not to mention reading some good books.

TexRich is almost certainly accurately relating his experience. However, you should not take that as a blanket condemnation of medication as a remedy to depression. I took, and still take, anti-depressants. They worked wonders for me. Counseling did nothing. So each case, and each individual, is different.

[TexRich]

Originally Posted by TexTushHog

TexRich is almost certainly accurately relating his experience. However, you should not take that as a blanket condemnation of medication as a remedy to depression. I took, and still take, anti-depressants. They worked wonders for me. Counseling did nothing. So each case, and each individual, is different.

I agree with TTH and thanks for clarifying. Everyone's different, there is no one perfect formula to overcome depression. In my experience, the medication was making it worse or prolonging it. It would seem to work at first, but a few weeks later it didnt seem to have any effect and my prescriptions were either being up per dosage or I was taking more than I was suppose to even after that.

Since being off the meds for about a month now, I feel physically and mentally better. I am happier and I am now trying to work out and get in better shape.

But, it doesnt mean it will work for others or am I telling others medication doesnt work at all or for anyone. I just know what is working or not working for me. thanks again TTH.

[thx]

x 100, what TexTushHog said. While 'suicide may be a permanent fix to a temporary problem', its all too real for folks. Mental health professionals are simply not up to the task of helping folks with bipolar, depression/manic, etc. Pills seem to be the answer. Which only makes it worse if they also suffer from alcoholism.
For some, they swear by exercise.

[Sydneyb]

It seems that the question might as reasonably be "why wouldn't someone commit suicide?"

If that was posited, my primary response would be that people avoid killing themselves because they have an understanding that everything passes - both good and bad - and that tomrorrow brings new opportunity and new challenges. Because the ability to fully understand this comes with experience; its probably the reason that teens tend to be more likely to attemp suicide.

Before I had a good grasp on the transience of emotion, in times of deep sadness, it was my moral and emotional obligations to my child that has guided me to other options. Big fan of good therapy over here....

[bluffcityguy]

Another perspective on the question.

I have a number of health problems which will kill me if left untreated. Unfortunately, they'll kill me slowly, painfully, and leave me debilitated and damn near helpless before they take me.

If I lose my job and lose my health benefits, I am well-nigh unemployable. Since we can't see our way in this great country (if you can't parse the sarcasm tags, upgrade your wetware) to provide universal health care, I've decided quite rationally that if I find myself unemployed and unemployable I'm leaving while I can do so comfortably, rather than as a stroke-paralyzed, blind amputee lying in a pool of my own urine under a bridge.

Just sayin'.

Cheers,

bcg