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12-13-2010, 06:29 PM
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#16
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Valued Poster
Join Date: May 22, 2010
Location: On the planet I think.
Posts: 8,728
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I was married for 27 years and my ex probably averaged 3 blow jobs a week. It was when her mouth wasn't full I had a problem with. lol
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12-13-2010, 06:29 PM
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#17
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: In hopes of having a good time
Posts: 6,942
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lickalottapus
Baby, I am going to fly to Nawlins and offer you the BFE, Boyfriend Experience.
I am going to step into your incall location and I am going to walk straight to the refridgerator and pour myself a drink. I will not listen, nor take note of your incessant bitching and complaining. I will then sit down on the sofa and turn on ESPN. I am in my fucking cave. I might respond with a growl. If you keep bitching, which I fully expect, I will take you back to the bedroom and fuck your brains out. No foreplay, no lubrication, just fucking. I will dial your mother for you on your cell phone so you can talk to her and leave me the hell alone. I will then proceed back to the kitchen, pour myself another drink and finish watching the game. At some point your dad will get home and your mother will have to end the call so she can go ride his ass. I will be expecting you to come back into the den to interrupt my game. I may be on my third or fourth drink, depending on how much of a rush your dad is to get home. I will then take you back to the bedroom and fuck you in the ass. No lube - just for spite. Then I will wipe my dick off with one of your blouses, cut you a check for your services, albeit one that I have already stopped payment on, then I will dial your sister for you so you two can compare your BFE's and what other shitty comments your mother has said to both of you, go back to the kitchen and pour myself another drink in a "to go" cup, then head to Hooters to finish watching the game where I will be entertained by young, tight girls as I fantasize what it's like to be inside of someone where I don't feel like I have to tie a sheet of plywood to my ass to keep from falling to the bottom of her hooch.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JahiaraQ
lickalottapus lmao definitely funny as hell. Lucky for me I dont take checks tho ...lol
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That's where the counterfeit 20s come in handy. 
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12-13-2010, 06:31 PM
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#18
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Former Post Ho
Join Date: Jan 13, 2010
Location: Houston
Posts: 13,863
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Oh man that was funny lol. The "ultimate bfe" lol
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12-13-2010, 08:48 PM
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#19
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 33326
Join Date: Jun 29, 2010
Location: houston
Posts: 148
My ECCIE Reviews
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And all those experiences is exactly why I stay single. lmao
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12-13-2010, 09:16 PM
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#20
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 47935
Join Date: Oct 4, 2010
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 355
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charlestudor2005
That's where the counterfeit 20s come in handy. |
Aww damn. I cant win
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12-13-2010, 11:13 PM
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#21
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Premium Access
Join Date: Feb 26, 2010
Location: Dallas/Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 484
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burkalini
I was married for 27 years and my ex probably averaged 3 blow jobs a week. It was when her mouth wasn't full I had a problem with. lol
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10 years, and yep. Only when I said told her "secret affair" to Go Fuck Himself that we had a problem. Apparently that's controlling. Yeah, you bet it is.
Damn she was great with the blow jobs.
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12-14-2010, 06:35 AM
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#22
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 55719
Join Date: Nov 20, 2010
Location: Somewhere in the east coast
Posts: 9,643
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burkalini
I was married for 27 years and my ex probably averaged 3 blow jobs a week. It was when her mouth wasn't full I had a problem with. lol
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12-14-2010, 06:44 AM
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#23
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 7225
Join Date: Jan 9, 2010
Location: The Dirty South
Posts: 1,019
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBorn
Actually, what you described is the "Wife Experience."
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LOL. Good one.
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12-14-2010, 08:20 PM
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#24
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Oct 6, 2009
Location: Balls Deep
Posts: 3,482
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yeah i wont be with a wife or a girlfriend like that..... when i come through the door....the darn world should stop spinning...especially if your ass is sitting at home enjoying the fruits of my labor. in turn....i want full throttle attention, meals, unlimited blow job and daty access....and sex with the underwear i see in victoria secret/fredericks of hollywood.
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12-14-2010, 09:18 PM
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#25
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Account Disabled
User ID: 47235
Join Date: Sep 29, 2010
Location: Galleria area in North Dallas. Private apartment
Posts: 2,747
My ECCIE Reviews
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Charles I really like you joke that was sooo funny Can you post another one lol
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12-15-2010, 08:19 AM
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#26
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: In hopes of having a good time
Posts: 6,942
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Selena51
Charles I really like you joke that was sooo funny Can you post another one lol
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Joke???? What joke???
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12-15-2010, 11:45 AM
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#27
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Mar 31, 2010
Location: Houston
Posts: 14,706
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Lickalot, don't forget to pee all over her toilet seat, then raise it, and leave it up.
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12-15-2010, 01:19 PM
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#28
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 47935
Join Date: Oct 4, 2010
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 355
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackie S
Lickalot, don't forget to pee all over her toilet seat, then raise it, and leave it up.
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That is just NASTY! That kind of shit will make me end up having the inmate experience...lol
I would kill someone pissing all over my seat
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12-15-2010, 01:32 PM
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#29
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: In hopes of having a good time
Posts: 6,942
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JahiaraQ
I would kill someone pissing all over my seat
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Dayum! That's a little extreme. Good thing it's a regular and not fur-lined. 
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12-15-2010, 03:10 PM
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#30
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BANNED
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 2,961
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J,
You sell ornaments like that--I suspect you would make a tidy profit.
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