Have Clients Spoilt Your Relationships With Other Men?

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by dreamvacationdates

The dynamics with a client and someone that wants to date you is totally different.

Totally. and don`t forget the reason why they pay. It`s secrecy and therapeutical effects. It`s not a two way full blown relationship, hence, why the money? That also explains why dating a client, specially a typical client , without money is not very satisfactory or leading to frustration for escorts on the long run. It`s all about them, as charming and nice they might be. The medal has always two sides. Always being charming and such might also show a lack of "real" interest.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by TheAntichrist666

I enjoy reading this thread. You know...I would like to thank all Providers out there for bringing happiness to my life. All civvie women I have dated, they have all treated me like shit. They were just so mean, disrespectful, and condescending to me. I was the nice guy, being polite, and romantic to them. They would take me for granted and treat me like shit in return. 3 years ago I got fed up with all of their bs and the way they were treating me. I started seeing Providers and have been with them ever since. Providers have helped me build my confidence back up and I spoil them back in return. Providers have treated me much better than any civvie women out there. Thanks for making me happy and treating me with some dignity. I do appreciate what Providers do for lonely guys like myself.

You`re more than welcome! And I think it makes you less desperate to dump the above mentioned characters of women more soon . That seems to be the benefit of the intertwining of these two worlds as well. ?

[Annef]

Originally Posted by TheAntichrist666

I enjoy reading this thread. You know...I would like to thank all Providers out there for bringing happiness to my life. All civvie women I have dated, they have all treated me like shit. They were just so mean, disrespectful, and condescending to me. I was the nice guy, being polite, and romantic to them. They would take me for granted and treat me like shit in return. 3 years ago I got fed up with all of their bs and the way they were treating me. I started seeing Providers and have been with them ever since. Providers have helped me build my confidence back up and I spoil them back in return. Providers have treated me much better than any civvie women out there. Thanks for making me happy and treating me with some dignity. I do appreciate what Providers do for lonely guys like myself.

Sweetpea, I would love to see you anytime.

[bladtinzu]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I think escorts do improve marriages, but not because the SO sucks at being a wife, that is - IMHO - a little gross and exaggerated. But of course escorts have been for centuries the helpers for the marital passion going away after a while. It`s a different dynamic.

I think if a married guy chooses an escort, and an escort is married, they would face the same implications - over time.

Hence I don`t believe in the bigger , better, faster game some like to play. Hence I don`t believe that SO or wives suck at being partners. That would be too simple.

Short term fix for a long term problem is all it amounts to. The long term problem is still married to you when you come down from the "Hooker High" a few hours later..

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by bladtinzu

Short term fix for a long term problem is all it amounts to. The long term problem is still married to you when you come down from the "Hooker High" a few hours later..

I agree that every form of relationship, specially long term ones, have their fair amount of problematic aspects in it. But, would they be just a problem people would change and solve it. Hence , the positive aspects grant the relationship going and the negative aspects can be solved indeed by the "short time high" as you put it.

Which brings me to the next point, which is, that escort-client relationships can`t be compared to real life full blown relationships. Which might prevent additional problems coming with additional relationship. Hence the exchange of money. I think, if we all were in love with our clients looking for earth-shattering romance, we would not charge for it, right?
Which does not distract from the fact, that a certain amount of chemistry or sympathy needs to be present to make a pleasurable time together. But that is in all jobs where you need to be around people for a longer time. If I don`t like my psychotherapist, I will take a different one.

I would never compare my private life with my escort life. The beautiful aspects of escorting as some point out, are - IMHO - traced back to the "simplicity" that comes with the circumvention that surrounds the deal. To transfer that into "real life" with "real love" and "real problems" causes problems.

I`ve never seen an escort dating a man that "treats her like an escort" -whatever that means - being happy in private life.
I think if you adjust reality every once and a while, a client can never spoil a relationship with a "regular* man.

[FriendofFailure]

I don't really post on the forums but this one is just too good to pass up.

I would say that the hobby has changed me for the better in the last year when it comes to meeting and dating. I think it's because a provider levels the playing field. I'm a smart, confident, funny, successful, handsome man that any woman would love to be around, but when I would get around any girls I would be this timid mess that couldn't give a sense of who I really was fast enough for a relationship, friend or other wise, to develop because they weren't seeing who I really am. All the beautiful women that I have seen have given me an opportunity to take the biology that was once a handicap, i.e. I like this girl but is she going to sleep with me?, and turned it into an asset, i.e. I like this girl and it won't matter if we don't have sex. That allows me to focus on the important mental relationship with women because the physical aspect has no pressure behind it.

This world is a fantasy world and anyone who bases real world relationships off of this model will never be happy in the real world. I will bend over backwards to treat amazing people amazingly. Hobbying has just given me an importunity to meet more of those people in real life. At the core of it we're all just people who want to be happy and we all have a price to pay, whatever that may be.

[Annef]

I kind of agree with you, friend. It has been good for me in several ways. I'm definitely more confident. For one, I get sex all the time, so the chances of you getting it from me in a civiian experience is slim to none. Which of course makes men try harder. Just the nature of the game; if they only knew. But no, I do not think this has ruined me for relationships. I mean, for the most part, the guys are very pleasant. It's an interesting thing to do, can open you up in a lot of different ways. But, comparing it to having a boyfriend is strange to me. It's certainly not full intimacy, not a whole lot of tenderness involved. At this point in time, I am starting to miss the fullness of a relationship and when probably miss aspects of doing this when I"m done. But, such is life, just a series of comprimises.

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Annef

For one, I get sex all the time, so the chances of you getting it from me in a civiian experience is slim to none.

This is one aspect I see true for me as well. In my private life it takes a longer amount of dating and showing interest, until I am willing to be physical. Because I emphasize on relationships, and not on sex, and so I try to avoid the people who are in it for the sex.

[am-a-pleaser]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

This is one aspect I see true for me as well. In my private life it takes a longer amount of dating and showing interest, until I am willing to be physical. Because I emphasize on relationships, and not on sex, and so I try to avoid the people who are in it for the sex.

Most of the time, when I choose a lady to spend time with in our p4p world, I make my decision based on things other than sex. I want her to feel valued as a person. I may be paying for her time, but what occurs during that time is a matter of choice.

[xoxoalice]

Appreciated the different perspectives on this thread. In essence, it is all about what connections work for you.

[FriendofFailure]

Originally Posted by Annef

I kind of agree with you, friend. It has been good for me in several ways. I'm definitely more confident. For one, I get sex all the time, so the chances of you getting it from me in a civiian experience is slim to none. Which of course makes men try harder. Just the nature of the game; if they only knew. But no, I do not think this has ruined me for relationships. I mean, for the most part, the guys are very pleasant. It's an interesting thing to do, can open you up in a lot of different ways. But, comparing it to having a boyfriend is strange to me. It's certainly not full intimacy, not a whole lot of tenderness involved. At this point in time, I am starting to miss the fullness of a relationship and when probably miss aspects of doing this when I"m done. But, such is life, just a series of comprimises.

Not sure if I need to clarify but here goes...
If our paths paths crossed somewhere in public I would think to myself "well she's attractive, but what does she have to offer me as a person". I might try and talk to you or just admire your beauty, either way if you weren't interested I would be on my way without a second thought. I've learned the nature of my value. I've had more opportunities with women because, at least I'm pretty sure, they think I don't care for them sexually. As soon as you don't care one way or another about a girls "vagine" is when she wants you to have it...

Or am I way off the mark with that line of reasoning?

[TheAntichrist666]

This is a wonderful topic : )

[Snuggles]

as you can tell by the many responses
yes it does

how is up to you.

I would advise dont become so jaded that you become incapable of emotional intimacy. We all age, dont be the old hag alone in life. Learn to seperate the client from the lover. The mental walls you put up will isolate you in the personal life as well as protect you in your work life.

whatever the case it requires some serious HONEST SELF REFLECTION.

reguardless I hope for the best for you in your endevers

[reneemyrenee]

It is not the clients that have ruined anything. I choose not to be emotionally vulnerable during sexual intercourse. That is something I am saving for the ONE I love. There in lies the problem. I have seen a lot of men and experienced many attitudes toward women. UAS s**guide website is very telling as far how do men see women. From reading the post those men put up I learned that most hobbyist really don't think much of women in general.

I understand there are exceptions. But even most of the men who seem to like us/women watch how they address and what they say and how they say what they say to and about providers/women when they are either mad or don't like that one woman/provider. it is very telling.

At those moments what they honestly think of us/women/providers shine through. I know of one hobbyist on one site who NEVER reflects hate. Not even towards his ex who he doesn't like.

I enjoy throwing off and disarming men and women by referring to myself as a who*^. They always try to get me to be more kind to myself and use lady of the evening or some thing that doesn't sound offensive. But I charge that when they get mad at me the first name they will call me is a WHO*^.

This underlying attitude that reveals itself when I am vulnerable is what has stopped me from going on in relationships.........

[alluringava]

I've been working a long time in this industry and I have to honestly say that my clients have not spoiled me any different than the men in my civvie life because I have always adhered to high standards when it comes to men in general. I enjoy being treated like a queen or princess, but in return, I enjoy treating a man like a king. It's certainly been interesting as a whole being in the business.

Sadly though, relationships with men I have met in the business have not worked out, because they inevitably begin to get jealous about my work when this ironically was how they met me in the first place. But I understand that, because if I went with them, then each potential client I see while I am dating them could be a threat. I have had to learn the hard way that I must be single as long as I work, and that's just the way it is. In the end I could not give all of myself to my civvie boyfriends while escorting and working as a provider because I give a lot to my clients. I'm happy being single and I have made the personal decision that as long as I work, that is the sacrifice I must make. But so many of my clients are wonderful men that I often feel as if they are 'BFE' type boyfriend experiences with the obvious limitations.

That being said, though, I expect that men whom I date outside of work treat me with the utmost respect and kindness just as I expect my clients too.