Screening and Provider References

[LittleMiss]

This is why lots of girls no longer post!

Originally Posted by Allie_Kat

There is no need to get hostile. You're right. I don't have any idea what penalties, if any have been awarded you. If any were.

[b@ileythepistol]

Originally Posted by LittleMiss

This is why lots of girls no longer post!

Agreed

[pmdelites]

kcphotoguy, sorry that you had to go thru this ordeal.
but remember - there are two kinds of hobbyists.
those who have had a bad encounter and those who will have a bad encounter.
and bad encounters are lessons we can use to improve our interactions.
ignore those lessons at your own peril.

but, the great and/or deliteful encounters outweigh the bad, imho.

Originally Posted by kcphotoguy

So I had something happen yesterday that kind of surprised me, and I want to open a discussion about proper etiquette for screening and provider references.

I have seen some wonderful ladies on this board and elsewhere, and I have provided references when requested. But I have always made contact and asked permission before using someone as a reference. I always assumed that was expected, and it just seems the right way to handle things.
...
But I really don't expect a woman to contact providers I have reviewed without asking me about references first. I am sure it probably happens when the two ladies know each other, but in that case I really don't expect to find out about it at all.

I am okay with that too, anything that makes the hobby safer for all involved, is good for all of us.

The incident that provoked this involved someone contacting two providers I reviewed for references without asking me first. Then asking about the wrong user name with predictable results, and cancelling on me at the last minute with an insulting text.

I think maybe some discussion about what to expect as appropriate screening and how to handle references would be helpful. I am out of line for being a little upset by this?

while i support your having your opinions, providers can screen who they want, when they want and how they want. period!
they can ignore your references, contact your references, look at your reviews, look at your p411 profile, contact anyone they want to, provider, guy, mod, or the internet.
so, expect anything! prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

i also agree that there should be some common procedures for giving references and checking references, but dont count on it. at least not until the International Association of Meticulous Providers Union Seeking Solidarity [IAMPUSSY :^)] gets organized and enforces some procedures and rules.

now, the issue of the provider checking w/ another provider, asking about the wrong username, and then replying back to you with "insulting text", if you havent contacted the woman and told her of the misstake of the wrong name, i would do so. just dont expect her to apologize and welcome you with open and loving arms.
imho, that was a mistake on her part and a very insensitive way for her to let you know about her research results.
again, until IAPUSSY starts off, not much you can do.

except let your fellow hobbyists know who she is so they'll know to be extra careful w/ her.

Originally Posted by Helicopter206

I myself think a good provider will look at reviews that were written by me, and do their own homework. like contacting them to see what they have to say about me. I might have my favorite's and only use them to give a reference, but it is also up to the provider to check out other providers, so they can build that trust factor between each other.
So I don't mind if a provider checks on me with other providers, it's for their safety. ...

agreed!!

Originally Posted by JS42

If I want to see a certain provider that requires references, I always check with my references first. That way, my references and I are on the same page and can expect another woman contacting them about me. I give the woman I want to see the links to my references for easy contact. Always thought it was the polite and professional way to handle it, but hell, what do I know.

that is a great way to provide references and inform the references a specific someone may be contacting them.
but not everyone does it.
and until the International Association of Men Seeking Excitement Yow!! [IAMSEXY :^)] forms and enforces guidelines and procedures, it aint gonna happen.

Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

Kcphotoguy,

The way I see it, you were asked for references and you provided references. If the provider needed more material to get you screened, she should have asked you. I agree with you in what you consider the right way to handle things.

...It is unfortunate this courtesy was not extended your direction. I would be very pissed off if I were you.

I would be open and honest and share my experience accurately. Others deserve to know what happened to you could happen to them as well.

if the provider neede more material, she can seek it out anyway she wants.
now it would be nice if she asked the guy for more info...
but until IAMPUSSY and IAMSEXY get together and agree on protocols....

seriously, we can wish all we want about how things "should" happen in this sub-culture.
but it just aint gonna always happen.
so be prepared!!

and if something happens and you get pissed at how you were treated, dont just bitch about it, do something about it - let others know what someone did.
but do so in an objective manner - just the facts.
no need to castigate or bad mouth them, just the facts.

[PleasantSurprise]

Very good points...

Originally Posted by JS42

If I want to see a certain provider that requires references, I always check with my references first. That way, my references and I are on the same page and can expect another woman contacting them about me.

Originally Posted by pmdelites

providers can screen who they want, when they want and how they want. period!
they can ignore your references, contact your references, look at your reviews, look at your p411 profile, contact anyone they want to, provider, guy, mod, or the internet.
so, expect anything! prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

Originally Posted by AllThisMeat

I think most screening should be done like job references. "Do you know this person? Would you hire them again? Is there anything else you'd like to add?"

For me personally, if I were to receive a phone call or text message from some random female asking me if I had met with John… If I wasn't given a heads up by John, I would assume "no" as the safest answer.

Admittedly, it may be a reputable provider, but receiving a call or text out of the blue hasn't given me any confirmation on who the female is on the other end of the phone. It could be John's wife, girlfriend, SO, a police officer, etc. It is more important to me to keep my clients safe, than to spill the beans haphazardly.

I would even venture to say my answer to "Have you met ___ " will always be no, until I have permission from the client or something in front of me confirming the female on the other end as a provider needing to know.

If you're a provider and your number isn't already saved in my phone...
If John hasn't given me the heads up to expect your call, text, email...
Then my lips are

I don't know if I'm the only one that looks at it this way, but it's definitely something to consider.

[LeilaniBebe]

Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

For me personally, if I were to receive a phone call or text message from some random female asking me if I had met with John… If I wasn't given a heads up by John, I would assume "no" as the safest answer.

Admittedly, it may be a reputable provider, but receiving a call or text out of the blue hasn't given me any confirmation on who the female is on the other end of the phone. It could be John's wife, girlfriend, SO, a police officer, etc. It is more important to me to keep my clients safe, than to spill the beans haphazardly.

I would even venture to say my answer to "Have you met ___ " will always be no, until I have permission from the client or something in front of me confirming the female on the other end as a provider needing to know.

If you're a provider and your number isn't already saved in my phone...
If John hasn't given me the heads up to expect your call, text, email...
Then my lips are

I don't know if I'm the only one that looks at it this way, but it's definitely something to consider.

Well you won't be getting any calls from me or any random providers out of the blue to ask for a reference because you have no reviews on this site or a phone number on your website.

When I do get a phone call from a provider she usually states who she is and ask for so-n-so. I will tell her to send me his info in a text, let me look and I will get back to you.

If this is a provider I do not know, I will definitely go look for her, on this site and Google. I just do this for the gents safety and mine.

But yes it is common practice to send a PM to a lady that a gent had reviewed in the past.

[PleasantSurprise]

Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

For me personally, if I were to receive a phone call or text message from some random female asking me if I had met with John…

Originally Posted by LeilaniBebe

Well you won't be getting any calls from me or any random providers out of the blue to ask for a reference because you have no reviews on this site or a phone number on your website.

Great point! Mission accomplished.

I'd like to add two more worms.

One: I think you left out the true reason I won't be getting any calls from you or any random providers..... Providers don't like my two cents.
Two: I think you may have confused the hypothetical scenario with reality. "If I were to receive..." is different than "When I receive..."

But thank you for clearing it up that I have no reviews on this site and no phone number on my website. I didn't think anyone had noticed. Shucks.

Bait's all yours.

Chomp....

Chomp.......

Chomp...

[DestinyInKC]

Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

Yeah, you mentioned that already. Get over it. You have no idea of what penalties have been distributed. Unless you have access to things only a moderator has access to. Are you able to view infraction points on a per user basis?

Originally Posted by LeilaniBebe

Well you won't be getting any calls from me or any random providers out of the blue to ask for a reference because you have no reviews on this site or a phone number on your website.

When I do get a phone call from a provider she usually states who she is and ask for so-n-so. I will tell her to send me his info in a text, let me look and I will get back to you.

If this is a provider I do not know, I will definitely go look for her, on this site and Google. I just do this for the gents safety and mine.

But yes it is common practice to send a PM to a lady that a gent had reviewed in the past.

You hit the nail on the head.
It is ridiculous to just say "no" to a provider because you don't recognize their phone number. It takes 1 minute at the most to type the number into google and make sure the provider is legit that is calling you. Safety is number one and whether the providers phone number is in your phone or not is not a good reason to say no.

[DestinyInKC]

Did not mean to quote pleasant surprise that quote is irrelevant in what I was talking about.

[PleasantSurprise]

Like....



Any other takers?

[DestinyInKC]

Can you not have a mature conversation and not act like you are 10 years old for 5 minutes?

[PleasantSurprise]

Originally Posted by DestinyInKC

It is ridiculous to just say "no" to a provider because you don't recognize their phone number. It takes 1 minute at the most to type the number into google and make sure the provider is legit that is calling you. Safety is number one and whether the providers phone number is in your phone or not is not a good reason to say no.

Safety for who?

Are your clients your priority when it comes to keeping them safe and being discreet?

If you don't recognize a phone number, how the fuck do you know the person on the other end is even a provider?

But the nice lady told me.....

[Allie_Kat]

Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

Safety for who?

Are your clients your priority when it comes to keeping them safe and being discreet?

If you don't recognize a phone number, how the fuck do you know the person on the other end is even a provider?

But the nice lady told me.....

Asking someone for their e-mail info and googling that plus the phone number will usually yield results in identifying if the person is who they claim, unless the phone number has been compromised. You can then call them back if they are legit to give them a reference. Or not. Depending on how you want to play it.
How does a client know when he calls a number that it is in fact a provider and not LE? He doesn't. We all take chances.
I don't have a phone anymore because frankly it's a pain in the ass, I'd rather communicate through e-mails and it's working out rather nicely for me. I understand that it doesn't work for everyone though. Different strokes for different folks.

[DestinyInKC]

Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

Safety for who?

Are your clients your priority when it comes to keeping them safe and being discreet?

If you don't recognize a phone number, how the fuck do you know the person on the other end is even a provider?

But the nice lady told me.....

Originally Posted by DestinyInKC

You hit the nail on the head.
It is ridiculous to just say "no" to a provider because you don't recognize their phone number. It takes 1 minute at the most to type the number into google and make sure the provider is legit that is calling you. Safety is number one and whether the providers phone number is in your phone or not is not a good reason to say no.

It isn't difficult at all. Like I already said once, google the number of the provider that called you. It takes less than one minute. If you have any sense at all it is a very simple task.

[PleasantSurprise]

You remind me of the little bitty pawn in the game of chess. Take that as a compliment, it means you're a step up from checkers.

This right here:

Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

until I have permission from the client or something in front of me confirming the female on the other end as a provider

Destiny, what does that mean to you?

Here we are, ten posts later, and people are still telling me to.... how did you put it.....

Originally Posted by DestinyInKC

make sure the provider is legit

Do you have bolts missing?

Originally Posted by DestinyInKC

It is ridiculous to just say "no" to a provider because you don't recognize their phone number. Safety is number one and whether the providers phone number is in your phone or not is not a good reason to say no.

IMHO, it is ridiculous to say anything other than "no" prior to checking around to see if the female is a provider.

I see you dodged the safety question.

Originally Posted by DestinyInKC

Safety is number one and whether the providers phone number is in your phone or not is not a good reason to say no.

Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

Safety for who?
Are your clients your priority when it comes to keeping them safe and being discreet?

Please tell me Destiny, do you prefer me in my bitch form or would you prefer if I were a little nicer to you?

[DestinyInKC]

You are a weirdo. You are making that pretty clear to everybody on this board.