Hobby/Escort Jokes!

[gfx]

Anyone know any good escort jokes?


Mods Please move to co-ed.. this is hobby related… my bad oops lol! (not a joke)

[spacecharge]

One day a hooker/escort went to file her taxes and for occupation she put down whoring

The tax preparer explain that whoring was an illegal occupation

She said she'll have to go home and think about it and that she'll call him back with the occupation

Later that day she called him back she said I have got my occupation I will claim on my taxes.I'm a chicken farmer

He said how did you get a "Chicken Farmer" out of whoring

She said"I raised up over a thousand cocks last year"

[Jessika Sweetz]

Haha good one!

[Guest070714-2]

Haha!!!

[gfx]

lol pretty good

[grayturner]

The difference between a girlfriend, a hooker, and a wife

The girlfriend, OH MY GOD! DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!

A hooker, (not a fine ECCIE escort) HEY, are you done yet?

A wife, Beige, I think we should paint the ceiling beige

[SpiceItUp]

A guy is walking down the street and he's really horny. So he goes to the first whorehouse he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next brothel. But since he has only five dollars, they kick him out as well.

By this time he is super horny, so he goes to the next brothel and says, "Look, I only have five dollars. I'm really horny and I need a blow job!"
The manager takes pity on him and says, "OK, for five dollars I can give you a penguin!"
"What's a penguin?" he asks.
The manager grins, "You'll find out!"

He takes the five dollars and leads the horny man into a bedroom. The horny guy unzips his pants and waits for the penguin. Soon a whore comes in and starts giving the guy a really hot blow job. Just as he is about to come, she stops and walks away.

The horny guy waddles after her with his pants around his ankles, shouting,"HEY! WHAT THE FUCK IS A PENGUIN?!"

[SpiceItUp]

A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the
evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at
it.

When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window,
takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side,
jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the
performance.

The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When
finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a
deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps
back into bed with the hooker and starts again.

The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During
the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.

So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a
deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed...and finds four
Chinese men.

[Fancylady]

Salute 2014 hobbysist and escorts!

[gfx]

thanks Spice pretty funny stuff!

[Guest110516]

There was this prostitute and this John.
The John says to the prostitute
"Hey Baby will you do it my way just one time?"
Prostitute says "Sure baby anything you want,I'll do it your way this one time."
John says "So you will do it my way just one time?"
Prostitute says "Yes baby,I will do it your way,this one time."
So they get it on, and when they are finished the prostitute says to the John, "Hey baby just what is your way?"

John replies..."ON CREDIT BABY, ON CREDIT"

[Tetas]

An old farmer decides to teach his (over 18) son about bartering and the value of money.
So, he gives him a duck and tells him he needs to go to town and see what all he can get for just one duck.
The guy is walking into town with the duck under his arm and passes a brothel on the outskirts of town.
A hooker is sitting on the front porch and hollers out "Hey Bumpkin! I'll give you a little taste for 5 dollars!"
The country boy's not real sure what she means, so he walks over and they talk for a while.
The hooker decides that he's pretty cute and all, plus he's obviously a virgin and doesn't have any money...
"What the hell, I'll give you a roll in the hay for that duck!"
Sounds like a good deal to him, so they drop the duck into the chicken pen and go up to her room.
Soon as he drops his pants the hooker says "OMG, that's got to be the biggest dick I've ever seen!"
And low and behold, the boy, virgin or not, knows how to use it!

After an hour or so, the guy is getting ready to leave, but the hooker begs him for just one more go, finally telling him that he can have his duck back if he'll just put it in her one more time, he says alright and they get back to it.

A couple of hours later, they are out by the chicken coop collecting his duck when it gets away from him...just as the mayor pulls into the yard, zips around behind the brothel to park, where no one can see, and BAM! runs over the duck!
He gets out and hoping to buy some silence, gives the boy a 20 for the duck.

Later, back at the farm...
The farmer comes in and says "Well son, what all did you accomplish today with your duck?"
The guy tells him, "Dang daddy, didn't know bartering could be so much fun!
I never even made it to town, but I was able to get a fuck for the duck, the duck for a fuck and 20 dollars for a fucked up duck!"

[dearhunter]

Knock knock

[SpiceItUp]

Originally Posted by dearhunter

Knock knock

lol sure why not... Who's there?

[dearhunter]

Originally Posted by dearhunter

Knock knock

Originally Posted by SpiceItUp

lol sure why not... Who's there?

whore