how to understand mixed signals from a woman

[jimmy simpson]

Women are so hard to understand sometimes.

A while back I ran into a girl I went to high school back in the day. We got together and she starts telling me how guys hit on her all the time. But she's Christian, and she doesn't believe in pre marital sex. Then she invites me to go to her gym. While there she says let's go to the hot tub. She comes out wearing a bikini and man, she's got a nice body. We sit around and talk for a while. Then she invites me back to her place.

When we got to her place she goes into her bedroom and leaves the door open. I'm standing outside her room when she walks by the doorway topless. She didn't say anything. I looked down and said oh sorry. Then she askes me to come into her bathroom. She's standing ther in panties and a bra. She says she has some dirt on her back and askes if I can wipe it off for her. I did help her. But I wasn't sure if I should make a move because she had said she didn't believe in pre marital sex. I was so confused. After a while I left.

What the hell was that all about? Was she crazy? Was she trying to set me up?

[Rehke]

The question is, set you up for what?

After that, why not just ask her?

Yes, people have issues saying what's really on their minds for a variety of reasons. But in looking at how I want to live life, my choice is to go for the up-front approach.

You're attracted to her, but not sleeping with her as it is, so the risk is by asking you won't be able to? Fuck that. Grow a pair and ask her. Worst she can say is no and cut you outta her life.

Do you want someone in your life that you are going to have to wonder about what she's up to?

If she is up front, she will give you an up front answer.

It'll be something along the lines of:

1) Yes - and y'all jump into the sack
2) No - with several post-outcomes

2a) No, she's just comfy being nude and she wishes to continue some level of relationship.

2b) No and you're gone.

2c) No because she's not able or willing to state her true intentions and you get a shitstorm because she's "offended". This is where I'm glad she's gone, because it was her actions that opened the door to the possibility. Getting offended at this stage is pretty damn manipulative and she's doing you a favor showing her true colors.

Women have all kinds of tests/games and whatnot that they like to put us men through. Face it, they're better at this than we are. They are better at concealing their thoughts, acting in manner they want us to perceive, manipulation and playing games.

You can either go down the PUA route and try to beat them at their own game. Or you can go down the up front route and let them take or leave it as far as what you're willing to put on the table.

There are pros and cons for each method. PUA stuff works on a lot of women and you can get laid a lot. And even if you are up front, an understanding of PUA material can help you spot and negate female antics.

On the up front side, a lot of people come and go. It's probably a lower percentage in some ways, but I believe the quality of what sticks is better.

My personal choice is mostly related to my desire to be as honest as possible with myself and others. I just don't have the time or mental energy to put into figuring out the other game to a point where I can run it and it's not suitable to my personal ethics. Where I have utilized PUA principles, I have noted they are effective and awareness of them has helped me sidestep a lot of bullshit.

Yes, all women are crazy. They have a different physiology and mental structure that men simply cannot understand past a certain point as we do not have the same life experience. Most women I've discussed this with agree and also add that to them, men are pretty crazy.

I'll wrap up my take on this by saying in general that you will really know a person by what they do, not what they say. People say a lot of shit. People do what they really want to do, regardless of what they say. Example, a lot of smokers say they want to quit. If so, then why are they still smoking. Answer: because the pain of not smoking, or the pleasure of smoking is of higher value than the alternative.

Originally Posted by jimmy simpson

Women are so hard to understand sometimes.

A while back I ran into a girl I went to high school back in the day. We got together and she starts telling me how guys hit on her all the time. But she's Christian, and she doesn't believe in pre marital sex. Then she invites me to go to her gym. While there she says let's go to the hot tub. She comes out wearing a bikini and man, she's got a nice body. We sit around and talk for a while. Then she invites me back to her place.

When we got to her place she goes into her bedroom and leaves the door open. I'm standing outside her room when she walks by the doorway topless. She didn't say anything. I looked down and said oh sorry. Then she askes me to come into her bathroom. She's standing ther in panties and a bra. She says she has some dirt on her back and askes if I can wipe it off for her. I did help her. But I wasn't sure if I should make a move because she had said she didn't believe in pre marital sex. I was so confused. After a while I left.

What the hell was that all about? Was she crazy? Was she trying to set me up?

[Eva Damita]

Sounds like subconsciously, she wanted the d!ck...ijs

[pmdelites]

rehke, most excellent reply i've read in a while.

jimmy, if that were me, i'd ask the woman ...
"say, i've noticed you were walking around topless, and now your walking around in bra/panties, and wanted me to wipe dirt off your back [you can state if you really saw any there or not].
so, what's the deal? what's going on in your mind?"

i'd leave it to her to reply how she wanted.
you could then add, if she hasnt jumped your bones by now, "i asked cos it seems to me you are interested in getting physically intimate with me. what's the deal?"
[using "physically intimate" instead of "have sex" or "fucking" might help to make it less of a "threatening", "insinuating" or "offending" question]
and then let her reply again.

by just posing the question and not any possible answers, you leave it up to her whether or not to invite you thru the apparently partially open door.

good luck jimmy!


btw, i just told my grand-daughter the other day that all guys are jerks, including me.
and that her job is to find the least jerky jerk to be her best bud or boyfriend.
i'll see how it goes.

cos, imho, women have tremendous pussy power over us guys.
sure, a guy can physically coerce - that is rape - a woman into sex, but they have the control cos they are the ones who say yea or nay to having sex.
the sooner women and men learn that, the better off they'll be. again, imho.

[macbeth1000]

Omg you see free pussy and you freeze up, the heifer wanted you to be the man and show her the error of her ways. Most of the chicks that say they don't believe in pre marital sex are the ones that will give you the fuck of your life cause they have all the experience and still want to look like good girls.
It's all games, learn to play it

[Rehke]

Back at ya! I really like the way you framed the questions. Sometimes that's where I still have some issues, as I can be a bull in a friggin' china shop. Your suggestion is up front, and totally places the ball in her court in a non-confrontational manner.

Just goes to show that I still have some things to learn!

Originally Posted by pmdelites

rehke, most excellent reply i've read in a while.

jimmy, if that were me, i'd ask the woman ...
"say, i've noticed you were walking around topless, and now your walking around in bra/panties, and wanted me to wipe dirt off your back [you can state if you really saw any there or not].
so, what's the deal? what's going on in your mind?"

i'd leave it to her to reply how she wanted.
you could then add, if she hasnt jumped your bones by now, "i asked cos it seems to me you are interested in getting physically intimate with me. what's the deal?"
[using "physically intimate" instead of "have sex" or "fucking" might help to make it less of a "threatening", "insinuating" or "offending" question]
and then let her reply again.

by just posing the question and not any possible answers, you leave it up to her whether or not to invite you thru the apparently partially open door.

good luck jimmy!


btw, i just told my grand-daughter the other day that all guys are jerks, including me.
and that her job is to find the least jerky jerk to be her best bud or boyfriend.
i'll see how it goes.

cos, imho, women have tremendous pussy power over us guys.
sure, a guy can physically coerce - that is rape - a woman into sex, but they have the control cos they are the ones who say yea or nay to having sex.
the sooner women and men learn that, the better off they'll be. again, imho.

[Eva Damita]

Originally Posted by macbeth1000

Omg you see free pussy and you freeze up, the heifer wanted you to be the man and show her the error of her ways. Most of the chicks that say they don't believe in pre marital sex are the ones that will give you the fuck of your life cause they have all the experience and still want to look like good girls.
It's all games, learn to play it

+1

In my personal life, I clearly declare my celibacy until marriage. Of course, they dont know who Eva is...nor do they get to meet her.

[macbeth1000]

Originally Posted by Eva Damita

+1

In my personal life, I clearly declare my celibacy until marriage. Of course, they dont know who Eva is...nor do they get to meet her.

You be telling your man that honey I haven't had sex with any other person and I want to wait until I am wed with you little does the poor sucker know that you are a professor in the male anatomy

[phildo]

Whatever happened to asking her directly and 'zactly what the fuck was going on?

I mean "OK, I'm in your bathroom and you're in your underwear, which is lovely by the way, and I'm getting dirt off your back and what I'd really like to do is run my tongue from the base of your spine all the way up to your neck. Is that why I'm in here? Because if it is, that's great, and if it's not, thanks for the hard on, I'm outta here to meet a girl called Eva."

Or just give her the tongue and take your chances!

[harry]

Originally Posted by Eva Damita

Sounds like subconsciously, she wanted the d!ck...ijs

This!

[daveindallas]

She wanted sex.
She just wanted you to be the aggressor so she could keep her
"Innocent good girl" image in her mind.
It's a game.....
Learn to play it.
You should have said
"You got some dirt on your bra, let's take it off and
Wash it" and unhooked it For her.

[Hercules]

You're trying to understand women?

Oh....you're serious? Do this instead. Find a hammer. Apply it to your forehead. Easier and less painful.

[pmdelites]

Originally Posted by phildo

Whatever happened to asking her directly and 'zactly what the fuck was going on?

I mean "OK, I'm in your bathroom and you're in your underwear, which is lovely by the way, and I'm getting dirt off your back and what I'd really like to do is run my tongue from the base of your spine all the way up to your neck. Is that why I'm in here? Because if it is, that's great, and if it's not, thanks for the hard on, I'm outta here to meet a girl called Eva."

Or just give her the tongue and take your chances!

phildo takes the pass from pmd, fakes right, turns left, goes to the board and slam dunks it for the game.

GOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ooops, wrong sport :^)

[Eva Damita]

Originally Posted by macbeth1000

You be telling your man that honey I haven't had sex with any other person and I want to wait until I am wed with you little does the poor sucker know that you are a professor in the male anatomy

Hehehe...the day I get a man or relationship, is the day I retire...single since 1989...and lovin it !

[nice1]

Ask her a question? She wanted you to beat it bad. You should have made some physical touches and if she pushed back you would've left.