3 recent references, does it help or hurt?

[oldbutstillgoing]

Shes a russion model Anna Song, amoung other names

Originally Posted by pmdelites

it doesnt matter to me what kaylee, old but still going, or you know.

i just wanna know who is the woman in the blue outfit in your avatar!!!!!




billyg, i dont think that there's any sense or value in questioning her screening process.
either provide the info or dont.

however, i do think it's legitimate wondering if this is common or very unique.
to that, i have no idea. the women i've visited in the last few years have just asked for a p411 request from me.

[pmdelites]

obsg, thx!!!


back to topic at hand...
Ladies, when asking the client to provide "recent" references, pls state how you define "recent" - 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 1 yr, a millenia :^)
it might cut down on the number of msgs back and forth.
also, if you have any restrictions in your definition of "references", let us know that, too.


i'll repeat what i posted in the confirmation thread... :^)
guess we need more intercourse (dealings or communication between individuals, groups, countries, etc. interchange of thoughts, feelings, etc.)

[Kendall4U]

Originally Posted by pmdelites

obsg, thx!!!


back to topic at hand...
Ladies, when asking the client to provide "recent" references, pls state how you define "recent" - 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 1 yr, a millenia :^)
it might cut down on the number of msgs back and forth.
also, if you have any restrictions in your definition of "references", let us know that, too.


i'll repeat what i posted in the confirmation thread... :^)
guess we need more intercourse (dealings or communication between individuals, groups, countries, etc. interchange of thoughts, feelings, etc.)

Recent equates to in the last three months as far as I am concerned.

[threepeckeredbillygoat]

I never have really understood how a guy who usually only sees his current ATF is supposed to give 3 or 4 or 5 references within the last 3 months or so if he has only been seeing 1 lady.

A lady's business is a lady's business, and I'm not one to try and tell her how to run it, but it seems to me that it would be impossible to become a guys new ATF and be the only one he is going to see for the next little while if you dont even let the guy in the door. I mean I understand for the new guys who haven't been here very long with absolutely nothing to go on. But for a guy thats been here for years without ever having a problem with a lady??? Maybe a change in normal protocol should at least be considered for such instances.

[outoftheblue]

I will provide two. Three is a stretch and not worth the effort. I generally like to see the same providers.But I fully agree that it is an individual choice for each provider.

[Randall Creed]

Good thread, and it's a dilemma I ponder myself at times. The business can be a struggle if you're not spending regularly with high end ladies. Many guys don't walk around with 2-3 references readily available. Hell, I've been on this board for what, 4-5 years (I can't see my stats as I type this), and right now I honestly can't say I that I have any references. The ladies that I used to see with any regularity are in some form of retirement or have relocated or just won't be in position to be a reference.

It's not so easy to get references, either. Not everyone who's willing to give or be a reference may be the guy's cup of tea, so now he has to 'fish around' to find a few that he can build with. This could be time consuming and financially wobbling. And what woman would want to hear, "I'm only seeing you to build my reference base."?

[Sami]

Another reason some ladies ask for 3 references, is she might only hear back from 2 of the kind ladies. Some ladies are not reference friendly, but we don't know who they are until you contact them or had before.

[threepeckeredbillygoat]

Originally Posted by Sami

Another reason some ladies ask for 3 references, is she might only hear back from 2 of the kind ladies. Some ladies are not reference friendly, but we don't know who they are until you contact them or had before.

Right right. That makes sense. But without knowing that she really only wants one verification will keep guys from calling because she's asking for three. I know because I have wanted to see a few and I never bothered calling them because I hadn't seen 3 different girls in a certain time frame.

[Laura Lynn]

References are the only way we have to learn about you. You can read reviews etc to see if a girl is worth your time. Sadly, we don't have a hobbyist review board to research. If your an infrequent hobbyist, might I suggest you sign up with date-check or p411 to aide you with getting screened.

If I may also add, it is extremely helpful and cuts down on back & forth messages if you could provide the reference information in the initial contact. The more names you can provide, the better. When I'm given a few names to pick from, I can contact the ladies that I know have good TCB skills and will respond to a reference request. Sometimes I cringe at certain names because I know its like pulling teeth to get a response.

[Audrey Astor]

As many have stated, she has the right to ask for what she needs to feel comfy. In all honesty if we are not comfy, it will show.

To address the second part of your question, I don't care how many ladies my clients have seen. I joke around and tell them, "if I were a hobbyist, I would see ALL of the ladies". I refer guys out all of the time. It's all about FUN. Who am I to judge? I hope all of you guys have a blast!

[tywill]

I think it hurts their business. 3 is excessive in my opinion and I would never see a provider that requires 3 "recent" references. But as others have said it's her body and her business, so if she can get people to jump through her hoops, however ridiculous they may be more power to her.

[randall flagg]

[QUOTE=Laura Lynn;1054981071]References are the only way we have to learn about you. You can read reviews etc to see if a girl is worth your time. Sadly, we don't have a hobbyist review board to research. If your an infrequent hobbyist, might I suggest you sign up with date-check or p411 to aide you with getting screened.

If I may also add, it is extremely helpful and cuts down on back & forth messages if you could provide the reference information in the initial contact. The more names you can provide, the better. When I'm given a few names to pick from, I can contact the ladies that I know have good TCB skills and will respond to a reference request. Sometimes I cringe at certain names because I know its like pulling teeth to get a response.[/QUOTE]

That is why I love P411- gives the ladies dozens of choice to pick from - and they can choose the ones they have a good relationship with to verify the OK given by them.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by tywill

I think it hurts their business. 3 is excessive in my opinion and I would never see a provider that requires 3 "recent" references. But as others have said it's her body and her business, so if she can get people to jump through her hoops, however ridiculous they may be more power to her.

I wouldn't necessarily says it hurts their business, because what you won't do dozens will. But I can see why it seems excessive, because I don't meet a lot of hobbyists. Three recent (which I consider 6 months) references is not always possible with every guy.

But when I do meet a hobbyist, I'm very picky about who's considered a reference anyway. I only ask references from women with whom I believe share my values on safety. If that's not a possibility then I screen them myself. Reviews from dramatic women, BP girls, massage girls, or those that don't screen do not count.

I actually disagree with the sentiment that references are the only way we get to know our clients. Some of us take the time to get to know our clients through conversations and emails, and have trained eyes/ears for cray cray. I've turned to ladies for references, and I've learned that some ladies' perception of good and bad are relative. I've met men whose references said they wouldn't see them again because their reason was completely ridiculous. I've declined to see clients who got the thumbs up, because these ladies were completely taken advantage of, and they thought he was just the bomb.com...

[tywill]

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

I wouldn't necessarily says it hurts their business, because what you won't do dozens will. But I can see why it seems excessive, because I don't meet a lot of hobbyists. Three recent (which I consider 6 months) references is not always possible with every guy.

But when I do meet a hobbyist, I'm very picky about who's considered a reference anyway. I only ask references from women with whom I believe share my values on safety. If that's not a possibility then I screen them myself. Reviews from dramatic women, BP girls, massage girls, or those that don't screen do not count.

I actually disagree with the sentiment that references are the only way we get to know our clients. Some of us take the time to get to know our clients through conversations and emails, and have trained eyes/ears for cray cray. I've turned to ladies for references, and I've learned that some ladies' perception of good and bad are relative. I've met men whose references said they wouldn't see them again because their reason was completely ridiculous. I've declined to see clients who got the thumbs up, because these ladies were completely taken advantage of, and they thought he was just the bomb.com...

Thanks for your reply. Wow, 6 months is recent? Then in that case 3 recent providers doesn't sound so bad.

[Chevalier]

A requirement of three recent references can be more ambiguous than some ladies may realize. Is it 3 in order to have better chances of hearing back, but 1 or 2 are sufficient, as some are suggesting? Or is it 3 because talking with only 1 or 2 doesn't give you enough of a comfort factor? Is it "recent" because a lady may not remember a client and be able to vouch for him after six months? Or is it "recent" because you're concerned that he may have changed so an OK from a year ago is much less reliable?

The reason I refer to the requirement as possibly ambiguous is that, depending on the reasoning behind it, a lady might be willing to accept something that doesn't meet the literal requirements. For example, a frequent suggestion is:

Originally Posted by Laura Lynn

If your an infrequent hobbyist, might I suggest you sign up with date-check or p411 to aide you with getting screened.

P411 solves the problems of ladies not responding to requests for vouchs promptly and ladies not remembering six months later whether she saw the guy. So if those are the reasons for a "three recent references," the lady might accept a P411 id even though I have no OKs within the past 6 months and only 1 OK within the last year. But if the reasons for the requirement are wanting more data points and being concerned about changes in my behavior -- well, that P411 id should't suffice either.

Unless the requirement is stated clearly enough for me to know the reasons behind it, I'll treat it literally and not waste that lady's time by inquiring. She has every right to decide she prefers guys who hobby often and see a lot of different ladies (and always make sure to get an OK). I respect that. And even if she would have accepted a P411 id without 3 recent references . . . well, she's likely not heartbroken that I didn't inquire. Plenty of other fish in the sea for her to see.