~Thought Provoking Topic #4~ WHY MEN DON'T ACTUALLY READ POSTS

[Toyz]

A poster brought up an intriguing thought earlier regarding why don't guys read every detail of every post and commit it to memory.

There are a myriad of reasons actually, and I will reflect on a few of them below. Please note that as with all lists, YMMV as what is a reason to one man might not be a reason to another...so this is the shotgun approach. Please feel free to add other reasons liberally or list your personal addendum.

1. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And are not really interested in how late you work at the club, that your gramma died, that you chose to go to the bank before our meeting & got in a wreck or that your POS car broke down. Just text us in time so we can go see our backup plan...why? Cause we just want to fuck.
2. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And your pictures in your ad, or on your page, or in a pictorial review gave us a stiffy so we picked up the phone
3. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And don't have time to schedule 3 days in advance because 3 days ago we didn't want to fuck...but now we do.
4. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And that's what you are here for or else you would be somewhere else. We expect to pay for it, 'cause it means you will go away after we fuck you
5. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And none of us are qualified to be your therapist...well...most of you anyway.
6. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: While you are rambling away on your "rules, do's, don'ts, availability" our minds are like Sexual Zombies...all we are thinking is "TITS"...."ASS"..."PUSSY". ..so none of it really registers anyway...
7. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And in 3-6 months after you've left the hobby won't be able to remember your name without pictures of your tits.

Obligatory disclaimer:

The girls that know me also know I just have a warped sense of humor & I am having fun here and none (well most) of this shouldn't be taken seriously...

[mrhamm]

I think Toyz has a vagina, he is answering questions. He must have read them or something.

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by mrhamm

I think Toyz has a vagina, he is answering questions. He must have read them or something.

I wish I had a vagina then I wouldn't always be tryin' to climb inside someone elses...I would be renting that puppy out at 5 bills an hour. Take a number, get in line.... Why? 'Cause some on here would pay it.

[mrhamm]

Originally Posted by Toyz

I wish I had a vagina then I wouldn't always be tryin' to climb inside someone elses...I would be renting that puppy out at 5 bills an hour. Take a number, get in line.... Why? 'Cause some on here would pay it.

Sadly Toyz, you don't qualify as a CBC provider. That, and assuming you started out life with a dick, you don't qualify to be a woman.

I take back my previous post, but I'm still not reading anything you wrote out of principle.

[Guest031715-1]

Originally Posted by Toyz

A poster brought up an intriguing thought earlier regarding why don't guys read every detail of every post and commit it to memory.

There are a myriad of reasons actually, and I will reflect on a few of them below. Please note that as with all lists, YMMV as what is a reason to one man might not be a reason to another...so this is the shotgun approach. Please feel free to add other reasons liberally or list your personal addendum.

1. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And are not really interested in how late you work at the club, that your gramma died, that you chose to go to the bank before our meeting & got in a wreck or that your POS car broke down. Just text us in time so we can go see our backup plan...why? Cause we just want to fuck.
2. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And your pictures in your ad, or on your page, or in a pictorial review gave us a stiffy so we picked up the phone
3. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And don't have time to schedule 3 days in advance because 3 days ago we didn't want to fuck...but now we do.
4. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And that's what you are here for or else you would be somewhere else. We expect to pay for it, 'cause it means you will go away after we fuck you
5. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And none of us are qualified to be your therapist...well...most of you anyway.
6. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: While you are rambling away on your "rules, do's, don'ts, availability" our minds are like Sexual Zombies...all we are thinking is "TITS"...."ASS"..."PUSSY". ..so none of it really registers anyway...
7. WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And in 3-6 months after you've left the hobby won't be able to remember your name without pictures of your tits.

Obligatory disclaimer:

The girls that know me also know I just have a warped sense of humor & I am having fun here and none (well most) of this shouldn't be taken seriously...

A poster brought up an intriguing thought earlier regarding why don't guys read every detail of every post and commit it to memory, and another poster posted a new thread with a joking yet - kinda serious answer.

While I agree that there are a myriad of reasons for this, whether he was joking or not, Toyz reflected on some very realistic ones in his fun reply. But, obviously, as Toyz pointed out, YMMV, and boy, do they! So please note again that as with all lists, YMMV as what is a reason to one man might not be a reason to another. This is my own fun, twisted and honest approach to both answer the OP as well as Toyz' fun reply. This is not a direct response to Toyz. It's more of a fun way to play along as well as a way to counter the fun when someone without Toyz' wit/humor laughs along or agree's with his list for the wrong reasons.*

*The wrong reason being they're a shitty (potential) client who needs a fun lesson on how this service actually works

Obligatory disclaimer:

The boys that know me also know I just have a fun and witty sense of humor but know that I have a strong and honest personality that mixes right in. I am truly having fun here but all (well most) of this should be taken seriously. While this is all said in good fun and in no way an attempt to say "I'M OFFENDED TOYZ YOU'RE A PIG," as someone who can relate to the OP, I thought it would be a hoot to make a "Female/Provider" version of the answer Toyz jokingly provided to a question from the board. I suppose this is my humorous way to provide my personal addendum


WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And are not really interested in how late you work at the club, that your gramma died, that you chose to go to the bank before our meeting & got in a wreck or that your POS car broke down. Just text us in time so we can go see our backup plan...why? Cause we just want to fuck.

1 - WE KNOW: So please stop bitching when providers don't get back to you! We're just saving you time, darlin's!

WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And your pictures in your ad, or on your page, or in a pictorial review gave us a stiffy so we picked up the phone


2 - WE KNOW: That's why we post pictures...for the ones who have trouble reading after all the blood suddenly starts to go to only one of their heads. Poor things...but don't worry, we have found a way to communicate with the slower ones!



WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And don't have time to schedule 3 days in advance because 3 days ago we didn't want to fuck...but now we do.


3 - WE KNOW: That's cool, your loss - our dodge! Don't forget - patience is a virtue!


WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And that's what you are here for or else you would be somewhere else. We expect to pay for it, 'cause it means you will go away after we fuck you


4 - WE KNOW: That we are here because you need us here and because we choose to let you pay for our skills and pleasures. And Amen, brotha! That's a two sided street One of the perks on our side of the hobby is that y'all go away after we fuck/suck/rub/love you as well!

WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And none of us are qualified to be your therapist...well...most of you anyway.


5 - WE KNOW: Bahaha, oh, trust us, WE KNOW!


WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: While you are rambling away on your "rules, do's, don'ts, availability" our minds are like Sexual Zombies...all we are thinking is "TITS"...."ASS"..."PUSSY". ..so none of it really registers anyway...


6 - WE KNOW: That's why some of us have so many rules, to weed out the Sexual Zombies. Contrary to popular belief, there ARE real gentleman out there who have the ability read to between the tits and ass. And man oh man, are some of them are FREAK-Y and hot in bed! Mmmmmhmm! Give me more of THAT! Go eat Zombie Pussy if you're a Sex Zombie, us Living Women prefer the Living and The Men.

<-- Living Fuckin' Smileys = Weee!
< -- Dead Zombie Smileys = noooo...brrraaaiiins...


WE JUST WANT TO FUCK: And in 3-6 months after you've left the hobby won't be able to remember your name without pictures of your tits.


7 - WE KNOW: That's the point!

, sons!

[Toyz]

***BRAVO***

Now THAT is the EFN I know...rolling with the punches & having fun right along with us....

I particularly like response #4!

[Centaur]

All those years I spent in a remote Tibetan monastery learning to read and interpret the Vedas written on cleavage...lost like...tears...in rain...

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Centaur

All those years I spent in a remote Tibetan monastery learning to read and interpret the Vedas written on cleavage...lost like...tears...in rain...

Which begs the question "aren't all Tibetan monasteries remote"?

[Centaur]

Originally Posted by Toyz

Which begs the question "aren't all Tibetan monasteries remote"?

Yes, but to truly master the arcane arts of horny reading you have to go where the best cleavage is found, a treacherous goat path past highly suggestive Bareback Mountains through Premature Pass into the See-Through Vale and up most inaccessible cliffs of the Kunlun Range where the rockface is liable to flake on you at any moment. It's a long hard journey. And you have to pre-book your Sherpa well in advance. I believe his name is bonn...

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Centaur

Yes, but to truly master the arcane arts of horny reading you have to go where the best cleavage is found, a treacherous goat path past highly suggestive Bareback Mountains through Premature Pass into the most inaccessible cliffs of the Kunlun Range where the rockface is liable to flake on you at any moment. And you have to pre-book your Sherpa well in advance.

Ahhh, the path to creamy cleavages is fraught with danger it seems. Can one navigate the channels by motorboat? I have had terrible luck with Sherpas, last one blew me off last minute because it was "national love your goat" day & he was protesting for more goat rights & couldn't be bothered...

[Victoria Columbari]

very funny...

[cinnamonshark]

Love it, EFN!

[playingnthedark]

Smooches to EFN

[FS_ITC]

I must not read very well...is this about Tibet?

[harkontume]

Does Tibet have pics?