Let down easy or brutally honest

[JalapenoPopper]

Will be nicer next time! Sorry!

[MarineButch]

I got turned down recently... the lady simply put we are not compatible....
But she had said in an earlier PM that we were....
I count it as my loss, she was polite and straight forward, class

[DFW_Ladies_Man]

I got turned down by and out of towner recently simply by asking her rates and menu. Before she turned me down she went through the whole "I don't discuss activities blah blah (mind you 100 p411 ok and over 200 reviews im working with) I really tried not to be a dick...no really I tried; in a round about way explained to her I needed that info before I could book. She replied "I don't think we are compatible..."

I have been turned down for plenty or reasons I just apologize for wasting their time but it helps if I know WHY i was rejected....

[JalapenoPopper]

What are the reasons for not being compatible.... age,weight,race,board presence?

[DFW_Ladies_Man]

Originally Posted by JalapenoPopper

What are the reasons for not being compatible.... age,weight,race,board presence?

for me its race but my review count has been a problem for some ladies.

[Guest113018-1]

Let down easy or brutally honest? Either one works for me. I was once told our menus don’t match up, i guess that is incompatible. Personally I think being ignored is rude, disrespectful and unprofessional. Being rejected is just part of being a male. I mean who never got turned down for a date. You don’t have to be cruel, but do say something. I know for myself I’m not going to continue to try and see someone that doesn’t want to see me, if I know she doesn’t, so I will just move on. But being ignored makes me ask myself too many questions that I don’t have the answers to.

[Analeese]

Originally Posted by JalapenoPopper

What are the reasons for not being compatible.... age,weight,race,board presence?

Those are some for some women ...but we’re all a bit different ....and some are the women/TS/activities he chooses to engage in or with .

That’s the beauty of being a hooker on a website rather than another avenue we have the luxury of being a tad more choosy as to who we spend our time with.

So far I’m seeing majority may prefer polite honesty or to just be ignored.

There are times I’m very busy doing a number of things and can’t reply to a message immediately after I’ve read it. Sometimes it just falls through the cracks unfortunately. Maybe not opening a message and reading is a better idea until a lady has the time to commit to engaging with a gent.

Persistence goes a long way with me personally.....not that I need or want to be chased after but a gent recognizing he might not be the only one in my inbox and being persistent about meeting (as long as I’m not opposed to meeting him) can win me over at times.

Thought provoking replies so far...I figured this would be an I teresting discussion

[Randall Creed]

Being honest in answering this question, for me, it hurts more I feel like it should. Here's why, and I hope this explanation at least ballparks my justification.

If I pick you to pm or reach out to for a visit, chances are that I REALLY want to see you. I don't pick 10 girls and then throw a dart at the names on a board and go with that. My pre-selection process has already done that. The girls I want to see, I pretty already know who they are. It's just a matter of availability of time, funds, locality, and male urges.

An example, that I hope makes sense is, say for instance, I like Jules Jaguar. Fucking gorgeous. Sweet body. Seems like a great gal. I 'gotta' meet her one day. She's NOT at the top of my 'hierarchy' today. Why? She's five states away from me right now. Odds are unrealistic of meeting her in any immediate setting.

But, if I got plane tickets to Dallas by this weekend....oh, shit!! This is a great opportunity to see Jules!!! Let me reach out to her to let her know I'm coming to town. She all of a sudden shoots up to the top of my list...where on Monday, she was probably ranked like, 32nd or something, because there was no conceivable chance I'd see her any time soon. But a magical appearance of a plane ticket changes that.

If I reached out to her and she showed no interest in seeing me, that would be a crushing blow. My whole 'process' has come tumbling down and has warped around itself.


A silver lining in the equation is that there are other ladies in Dallas on my 'list', too. Once some sulking is done, I'd go down that list. Being number 3 or 4 or 5 on that list doesn't really mean anything, because to make the list is a great thing anyway. It's like the playoffs.

Lemme first say that this is no attempt sway Jules in any way. I'm just trying to make a point.

My point IS, if I'm pm'ing you for a visit, chances are I REALLY like you (in purely a hobby sense) and a lot of thought has gone into wanting to see you.

Yeah, I've been turned down before, and it sucks every time. You just try to walk it off best you can.

These ladies don't owe us anything. They don't HAVE to see us. You have to remind yourself of this if rejection starts to feel a little too personal.

Rejection hurts more when you feel like you're genuinely a good guy, and mean no harm to any of these ladies, as I do every time. You just want to have a good time with her, and feel good about yourself afterwards, and move on with life.


Sorry for the long post. Read it. It's good stuff....I think.

If you skimmed over it, go back and read it. I put a lot of though into it.

[FunInDFW]

Originally Posted by Randall Creed

Being honest in answering this question, for me, it hurts more I feel like it should. Here's why, and I hope this explanation at least ballparks my justification.

If I pick you to pm or reach out to for a visit, chances are that I REALLY want to see you. I don't pick 10 girls and then throw a dart at the names on a board and go with that. My pre-selection process has already done that. The girls I want to see, I pretty already know who they are. It's just a matter of availability of time, funds, locality, and male urges.

An example, that I hope makes sense is, say for instance, I like Jules Jaguar. Fucking gorgeous. Sweet body. Seems like a great gal. I 'gotta' meet her one day. She's NOT at the top of my 'hierarchy' today. Why? She's five states away from me right now. Odds are unrealistic of meeting her in any immediate setting.

But, if I got plane tickets to Dallas by this weekend....oh, shit!! This is a great opportunity to see Jules!!! Let me reach out to her to let her know I'm coming to town. She all of a sudden shoots up to the top of my list...where on Monday, she was probably ranked like, 32nd or something, because there was no conceivable chance I'd see her any time soon. But a magical appearance of a plane ticket changes that.

If I reached out to her and she showed no interest in seeing me, that would be a crushing blow. My whole 'process' has come tumbling down and has warped around itself.


A silver lining in the equation is that there are other ladies in Dallas on my 'list', too. Once some sulking is done, I'd go down that list. Being number 3 or 4 or 5 on that list doesn't really mean anything, because to make the list is a great thing anyway. It's like the playoffs.

Lemme first say that this is no attempt sway Jules in any way. I'm just trying to make a point.

My point IS, if I'm pm'ing you for a visit, chances are I REALLY like you (in purely a hobby sense) and a lot of thought has gone into wanting to see you.

Yeah, I've been turned down before, and it sucks every time. You just try to walk it off best you can.

These ladies don't owe us anything. They don't HAVE to see us. You have to remind yourself of this if rejection starts to feel a little too personal.

Rejection hurts more when you feel like you're genuinely a good guy, and mean no harm to any of these ladies, as I do every time. You just want to have a good time with her, and feel good about yourself afterwards, and move on with life.


Sorry for the long post. Read it. It's good stuff....I think.

If you skimmed over it, go back and read it. I put a lot of though into it.

tl;dr - it's because you're weird as fuck.

[Randall Creed]

FunInDFW
This message is hidden because FunInDFW is on your ignore list.


I try to avoid talking to morons as much as possible.

[Analeese]

Originally Posted by Randall Creed

Sorry for the long post. Read it. It's good stuff....I think.

If you skimmed over it, go back and read it. I put a lot of though into it.

I read every word.

I thought you’re post was fantastic. Makes perfect sense to me. And if a guy approached me the same way I would hope the stars could align and I could meet him and rock his world and live up to all his expectations he had.

I’ve been rejected in this hobby as well. And most guys have been extremely respectful and honest about it. Generally it’s something along the lines of I’m just not their type, I’m still too young for their preference, my ass or tits aren’t big enough ect. I appreciate honesty and integrity in people. It’s rare to find at times.

Thanks for writing all that hope it’s appreciated by others as well

[bandit007]

I just assume you politely tell me. That way I can line up someone else and not wasting time trying to get back to you for another appointment at a later date.

[Barrymccockinner]

I’d prefer a response. I was rejected politely once, given the reason, and I accepted it and thanked her.

A lot of people’s TCB skills are terrible, so no response is bad for two reasons. One, I don’t know if I’m being ignored or she just hasn’t gotten to my message yet. And two, when I contact a lady, I’m wanting to meet and my play time is limited. I don’t make a plan B because I don’t want to overbook, so if you don’t respond it’s likely I miss my window.

[Brandofan]

Originally Posted by Randall Creed

Once some sulking is done, I'd go down that list. Being number 3 or 4 or 5 on that list doesn't really mean anything, because to make the list is a great thing anyway. It's like the playoffs.

Randall, your entire reply IMO is spot on, but the quoted part is really key. It doesn't happen often, but when I do get declined I just move on. I don't take it personally because the woman in question really doesn't know me from Adam so I just take it in stride and see someone else. I figure I saved myself a headache and that its her loss.

Unfortunately a lot of guys are visually oriented hunters with fragile egos. Once they get their mind set on a particular lady they don't easily let go. When they get rejected they are reminded of their third anniversary when the wife had a headache or the chick from college that turned him down for a dude with a nicer car. Getting turned down by a provider can shatter the ego of such a guy and can be very telling.

Some ladies I have set up with have gone silent at first for a couple days. When this happens I just act patient and then give it one more shot with a polite inquiry, and almost always I get a response. I think some ladies might actually screen this way to see if a guy is obsessive or not.

I am surprised to say this, but I think the right answer is to ghost the guy. That way he can invent whatever excuse in his mind, otherwise too many dudes can't handle rejection and it just compounds whatever issues drove them to hobby in the first place.

There are so many ladies to see that it isn't worth getting all twisted up over one rejection but some guys just don't get that and won't just move on.

[alaine]

AWESOME reply

Originally Posted by grean

Just tell them you heard their cock was too big.