Ok, I’ll bite… As soldier mentioned, too many to count, but the first thing that comes to mind…
I was working at Carrier in Syracuse at the time as a shop floor supervisor, I’m thinking around ‘98 or ‘99. The supervisor on the opposite shift of me was out on medical, so I was covering extra hours to help out. I had over 70 hours in by end of shift Friday and still had to go in first thing Saturday morning, so said fuck it and got a hotel room for the night instead of driving back to my house which was about an hour drive each way. I was so f’ing tired I felt like I was in a complete daze. Grabbed a six pack of Labatt Blue, checked into my room, gave the hotel my dirty clothes to wash for me, cracked open a cold one and grabbed a shower. After I had about 3 in me decided to head over to Lookers (strip club) on Salina. Welp…bad decision lol.
Got to the club, ended up hooking up with a dancer who was open to some OTC fun. Left the club, hit a drive thru for some munchies and while waiting on the food she asked if I was interested in a 3sum with her girlfriend. I’m like…fuck yea! We pick up her friend, get to the hotel room and they decide to grab a quick shower together. Meanwhile, I hide my keys under the mattress, my wallet in some other location (can’t remember off hand where) and flop on the bed naked stroking Lil Big Man, happy as hell like a lil kid on Christmas morning. Of course I pass out before they get out of the shower.
Wake up in the morning, the girls are gone, my keys are gone, clothes are gone, look out the window buck ass naked and yup…you guessed it…my vehicle is gone! Luckily I had given the hotel a set of clothes to wash for me or I don’t know wtf I would have done. They also never found my wallet, so kudos to me for hiding it in a good spot lol.
Had to take a cab to work, got there a bit late obviously and immediately reported it to the cops. Who do I get? A female detective who just got a kick out of the whole story. Like I wasn’t already embarrassed enough lol. What pissed me off the most wasn’t that my vehicle was stolen, but that my golf clubs were in the back. I do have my priorities lol. I was playing a ton of golf at the time and was livid that I didn’t have my clubs. Fortunately they found my vehicle within a few days, arrested both of the girls along with one of their homies and was able to get it back immediately. Although, it needed cleaning due to there being cigarillo tobacco everywhere (I’m sure you can guess why) and my clubs were gone.
Silver lining? Not only did I get my vehicle back in one piece, but found out that my homeowners insurance covered the loss of my clubs and ended up with a complete brand new set of Pings from putter to driver and a new bag. I never admitted what actually happened to the boys at work, but they knew and boy did I get my balls busted for weeks.
Moral of the story? Never bring back strippers to your room when you’re exhausted & drunk. And if you do? Get a damn room that has a safe so you can lock up your keys and wallet.
The dumbest thing ever.
