One Liners....
I was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.
She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran – but you don’t get offers like that every day.
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I saw a fortune teller the other day.
She told me I would come into some money.
Last night I fucked a girl called Penny – is that spooky or what?
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The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?”
.... Apparently “Only to stop myself from coming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer.
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Got this text from my brother recently.
It read. “Can I stay at your house for a while?
The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock.
.... It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!”
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A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed.
The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife.
A moment of silence passes and the guy says, “I can’t believe they fucked my wife after only five beers!”
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