What's the deal with ladies in Coed?

[St.Mateo]

Originally Posted by Miss Sophie Bella

I'm not trying to be overtly picky, but I am Sophie. Sophia is someone else entirely. It's fortunate for me that she's stunningly beautiful, intelligent and usually posts things I agree with because our names are often used interchangeably. I just wanted to clarify so that she isn't unfairly drawn into any sort of controversy.

Having said that, my original post wasn't intended to stir the pot. I simply believe that making assumptions about another individual's knowledge, level of education or intelligence is a very bad idea and is a principal reason ladies are reluctant to voice opinions in this forum. Setting the bar low to accommodate those who we assume wouldn't know a certain word used or understand a particular concept is patronizing at best.

Why do I think providers post less? Because dissenting views and critical opinions can have very different consequences for hobbyists than they do for providers. It isn't always the case, and it definitely doesn't have to be, but there's fear for many women that any small comment they make might be dissected and analyzed and that it will affect their business. It makes many very choosy about how and what they are willing to post here and certainly creates an unlevel playing field in our discussions.

Case in point: I used the wording "lack of thoughtful contribution" in reference to CK's original post. I wasn't suggesting that there isn't any thoughtful commentary provided by ladies here. I was trying to say that the quantity would increase if there were a more hospitable environment for lively banter without fear of being attacked. I've been quoted and requoted out of context. I just wanted to be completely clear about my original intention.





I once had a boyfriend who told me it was really a turnoff for him when I made his friends laugh. You can guess how long he lasted after a comment like that. Yes, there's men out there who are so intimidated by a woman with intellectual power that they see it as a negative attribute. But for every man afraid of a thinking woman, there's another to fill his place who adores challenging conversation, new ideas and an inventive mind, especially when it is wrapped up in a feminine package. For the gentleman unafraid of a woman who is his equal, welcome. You guys ought to post more too.

If anyone still doesn't know what misogyny means, please look it up. Include "hegemony", "patriarchy", "standpoint epistemology", "essentialism" and "l'ecriture feminine" if you really like to party. Knowledge is power.

Originally Posted by Sexy Roxanne

I say we just all get naked and screw each other! That should take care of everything, at least it's always worked for me

All these posts including the ones quoted here are excellent especially Roxanne's. I have been say that for a long time

Another point is when we sit here and read stuff on here at times we get very emotional and when you throw in highly charged thinking the more likely thoughts you say then arent exatly what was meant to say. Throw in the trolls and drama makers here and in a matter of moments you can go from being a Saint to the Devils son ( I know bad analogy)

For the record give me a lady that is intelligent and well spoken. Intelligence does not intimitate me it turns me on......

[Spacemtn]

Hmmm...Very interesting thread. On the original subject there have been 10 different ladies post in this thread and 28 Men (or hobbyists) post. I wonder if we compare the above ratio of ladies to men with the ratio of providers to hobbiests registered on the site what conclusion would be drawn? Would the ratios be proportionately similar?

Most have been intelligent, on topic, civil, and for the most part informative. Many different and varying viewpoints are presented and all in all it has been without vitriol and venom. My compliments to all who are participating!!

Ya'll done good, this time!!!! Let's keep it up! ; )

[Onceler]

6 pages of thin slicing the word "misogynistic" in a passing comment...
Long posts speculating on the affects of world economics and the trickle-down affect on the psyche of Austin board posters...
Weakly attempted cyber bullying... or denials of intended cyber bullying...
Provider on provider action.. and not the kind we NEED...

No, I can't think why intelligent contributions are down by providers in the Co-Ed section... I'll keep researching since nothing seems obvious yet.

Onceler
...good with my fingers...

[Francisca]

Originally Posted by Miss Sophie Bella

Having said that, my original post wasn't intended to stir the pot. I simply believe that making assumptions about another individual's knowledge, level of education or intelligence is a very bad idea and is a principal reason ladies are reluctant to voice opinions in this forum. The comments in this thread insinuating and assuming I am misogynistic and contemptuous… those are a good idea?
My so called assumptions come from the fact that I have known over 100 providers during my “hobby Life” and from the 2008 Educational Attainment of Persons 25 Years or Older that reports 25.3% of the population in Texas has a Bachelor's degree or higher. That leaves us with 74.7% that DO NOT have a 4 yr college degree. 54.2% of the population in Texas has SOME college… I consider 54% to be closer to “average” than 25% and since “some college” means “some knowledge” I feel it is fair to say that some missed class the day “Misogyny” was taught, leaving less than 54% or less than average of those that know the definition of Misogyny. FYI, only 8% have a masters degree…
Now, the person collecting this data might be a misanthropists……

Setting the bar low to accommodate those who we assume wouldn't know a certain word used or understand a particular concept is patronizing at best. Set the bar at an average.

Why do I think providers post less? Because dissenting views and critical opinions can have very different consequences for hobbyists than they do for providers. It isn't always the case, and it definitely doesn't have to be, but there's fear for many women that any small comment they make might be dissected and analyzed and that it will affect their business.
I wait for the day ladies will realize that it will increase business not decrease… As I said in my initial post…A provider should post, reply, her thoughts & opinions; that is an advertisement of her personality. It makes many very choosy about how and what they are willing to post here and certainly creates an unlevel playing field in our discussions. So Very True.

Case in point: I used the wording "lack of thoughtful contribution" in reference to CK's original post. I wasn't suggesting that there isn't any thoughtful commentary provided by ladies here. I was trying to say that the quantity would increase if there were a more hospitable environment for lively banter without fear of being attacked. I've been quoted and requoted out of context. I just wanted to be completely clear about my original intention. I now clearly understand what you meant by “lack of thoughtful contribution” My apologies… The meaning of a word can be an opinion.

For anyone sharing the opinion that, as Mr. Ibechill says, I do not share his opinion. they hobby so they don't have to hear what a lady thinks, this is clearly not the forum for you. I do not understand why a forum that lacks quantity of thoughtful contribution from ladies is not the forum for Ibechill? He does not want to hear what the ladies think and since we all do seem to agree with the lack of postings from ladies, it seems it is the perfect place for him… you don't want to read and participate in an inclusive dialogue find somewhere else on the board that can accommodate your preferences. Since we have a lack of contribution from ladies I feel it is safe to say that it is the ladies that do not want to participate in an inclusive dialogue.

Unfortunately, I do not think ladies will ever participate much in the co-ed.
I do want to thank the ladies that have participated in this thread. I think, for the most part, we were able to have a civil debate, and maybe it will encourage other ladies to partake in other discussions on this board.

Besos,

Francisca

[TaylorMaiden29]

Setting the bar low to accommodate those who we assume wouldn't know a certain word used or understand a particular concept is patronizing at best. "Set the bar at an average."~Francisca

The interest, dialog,and participation of the ladies in this thread conclude that the more intelligent the conversation, the more posts one will draw from the ladies.

[Guest030911]

I have no problem with ladies posting at all. There is nothing like a good self posted alert to clear things up sooner rather than later.

[Whispers]

I can't believe I've been so busy that I have had so little to say on the subject yet it managed to get to 6 pages?

Seems folks are getting all up in each others face all ion their own....

girls basing girls.... guys bashing guys... guys bashing girls bashing guys......girls bashing guys bashing girls.....

Seems like a little here to suit everyone's fancy......

[Guest031411-2]

Seems to me like people here are starting to enjoy an intelligent discussion. You say controversy is in this thread, my read on the posts so far is people are starting to look at things as if standing in the other persons shoes. The start of a real dialogue is occurring, which will always include *some* back and forth. But this thread is much tamer than some I've read in co-ed and has a potential for positive give-and-take.

One thing that seems to be coming clear is a definite line in the sand for the hobbiests that see providers as, to be perfectly blunt, life support systems for their vagina's. Where as other hobbiest's are recognizing the inherent intelligence and wisdom the ladies bring, and find it *hot* *sexy* *arousing* Be that as it may, an awareness that this is not a one-size fits all hobby is bubbling to the surface.

I'm realizing that some ladies I wouldn't have looked at or considered have aroused me in ways that I hadn't considered possible in the hobby. Please, don't let my little post discourage the continuing discussion between supply and demand, supply and supply, and demand and demand

[ANONONE]

Originally Posted by kittyloveratx

. . .recognizing the inherent intelligence and wisdom the ladies bring, and find it *hot* *sexy* *arousing* . . .

Pssst!

All sex is in the brain.

[Guest031411-2]

And one hot brain with another begets hotter brain driven sex, which is what I understand your post to mean. I love smart women that are also hot between the sheets, the combination of the two drives my brain nuts! LOL

[ANONONE]

Click the image below to see video proof of why an intelligent woman is far better in bed than a mere pretty woman:

[Guest031411-2]

Why do you presume either one of those ladies is smarter than the other? Us it the stereotypical imagery that got to you?

[CaseyTaylor]

Originally Posted by kittyloveratx

Empathetic feelings are less when reading a written word than when talking to someone where you can see facial expressions and hear tonal inflections.

______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ ____________________

Those who have the time to read, please bear with me. Some are going to think this too academic an exercise, and they may be right.

I quoted the above in my earlier post (and a bit more of it) but this is the part I ask you to consider for the moment.

"Empathetic feelings are less when reading a written word than when talking to someone where you can see facial expressions and hear tonal inflections."
______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ ____________________

I HATE TEXTING. Why? Because It takes forever to type the words (even using T9), wait for a reply, fashion a response, and so on and so on, back and forth. It is ok for simple things like "are you on the way?" or "want to go to Bull Creek at 4?" or simple questions like that. Works pretty well for simple statements like "Be ready because I am going to fuck your brains out tonight", but I digress. For me, for the most part anyway, I prefer a good old-fashioned phone call. Here is one example why:

Last summer I was hanging out with a guy who LOVED to text. No matter how many times I told him (and texted him) "I hate texting", he persisted. This was not a good thing. He was funny and mostly pleasant in person but he turned into an evil rat bastard when he texted! Well, it turned out that my cell phone was not displaying any of his cute little emoticons--the ones that were supposed to let me know he was kidding or being sarcastic or silly or whatever. And it turned out he used these a lot. Ugh! He thought he was being playful, and I thought he was being a jerk. Or more accurately, the messages HE SENT were playful. But without the emoticons, the messages I RECEIVEDwere often pretty damn rude. (He would agree with this statement.)

Given the statement about empathy I quoted above, why should I presume that my written words, posted here, are understood by the readers? Not as regards substance, but as regards my attitude as I write the words and therefore the intent behind them? If I were speaking the words to you, my facial expressions and tonal inflections would help ensure that you understand the meaning behind the words. Without these, what are the odds that we are really communicating effectively?

Hopefully some of you will remember a thread from a little while back--it was about the voices we give to others as we read their words in our minds. (Well, I didn't actually post in that thread but found it interesting.) Because the reader does not know the writers' true voice, they created a voice or characterization which matched their impressions of the person behind the written words.

Ok, I decided to use the search feature. The thread was called "Audio commentary for well known posters" and 24 different people chimed in with their thoughts. Here are just a few:

Originally Posted by Sensual Sophia

Because of my aggressive posting style, several men have been shocked when they heard me speak and found out I didn't have a deep voice. Another admitted that he was surprised to find out I wasn't ugly and old -- because he thought only hags posted like me. No joke.

Originally Posted by dammit

....This thread is so spot on.....

Do y'all actually read the threads out loud in the voice you imagine? There's one poster that I always hear Elmer Fudd and I read the posts out loud in that voice....sad but true.... My cats think I'm insanse as I'll read a thread in 10 different voices LOL

Originally Posted by Booth

Kosher will always be the Geico gecko to me....

Originally Posted by txtraveler07

I posted it in another thread, but I always hear Rorschach doing a voice over when I read Whispers' posts. And sixxbach, for some reason, I imagine Strong Bad. When you rant, I hear, "Trogdoooor!" in my head.

Sophia, I imagine you having a soft, sensual, 1-900 kinda voice.

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

I somehow pictured spaceman as an old man. Boy was I wrong. What a handsome man you are. Charming too.

Originally Posted by missi hart

for a few select posters i hear the adult voices from charlie brown---it is another version of the ignore button for me.

Originally Posted by sixxbach

for some reason i think of whispers as darth vader............. ABT as the donald.... trump that is!

Originally Posted by Whispers

darth vader huh........ I can live with that....

There are a few ladies around here I definitely put a Rosie O'Donnel voice to..... One guy that will go unnamed is a PeeWee Herman...... and another that will go unnamed conjures up Mike Tyson every time he throws his weight around...

Clearly, the characters imagined to be reading the posts impact the interpretation of what the words really mean and reflect the presumed mindset of the writer.

If you read my posts from this morning, did you imagine me calm or angry or otherwise? How did you interpret my motivation for posting? I have asked myself this question regarding several posters in the thread, retrospectively. I read people pretty well, actually, yet I wonder how accurate my interpretations would prove to be.

There are, of course, myriad variables I have not attempted to address. An important obvious one is that we are not a homogeneous group in any respect. (lol--I used a word--mental image of steel pussy award ) Another is the unlikelihood that all posts are given due consideration (e.g. empathy).

And so I ask, how effectively has this group communicated in this thread? (Defining "group" very broadly.) Given the variables and constraints, and assuming the topic is substantive, is it realistic to expect effective communication is possible within such a diverse group?

Food for thinking people from a kindred spirit.

~~Casey
______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ ________

P.S. Just about to post this and have to smile. One man's "bashing" is another man's "dialogue".
P.P.S. FYI, I was not at all angry. Surprised by some comments and hoped to influence one paradigm shift. Didn't work. Frustrating, but likely a misplaced goal.


And for an added punctuation mark:

Originally Posted by ANONONE

All kidding aside and speaking of irony, have you noticed that for some gents there is no happy equilibrium in posting style?

I mean if the lady's post is full of typos and silliness, they will get cut down for being uneducated and told they should stick to posting ads. If the lady proves to be intelligent and clever with prose, the same guys will then rub their forehead and talk about how the big words give them a headache and go on and on with a bitter beer rant about how the women of this board should stick to being sexy for the menfolk.

And you wonder why they charge us so much to fuck them?

[LadiesFan]

Nothing is more sexy than an intelligent woman... nothing.

"Intelligent" does not mean the same as "opinionated"... I also love an opinionated woman.. a good spirited debate is very arousing.

"Opinionated" does not mean the same as "bitchy"... they can be close though.. the difference is in the delivery. Unfortunately it is difficult to tell ones intentions when they debate on the web.

I just add some smileys so peeps can see that I am being playful.

LF

[Guest031411-2]

That was very well written Casey Taylor and very insightful!!!!