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Brooke Cumsalot · 06-19-2010, 11:48 AM

Just wanted to tell all the providers who have a great dad, to appreciate it! You are lucky to have the dad you have, and make sure you tell him that everyday.

My dad is a great man, just not a good father. He was in minor leauge as a pitcher... and those who know me know i was a d1 pitcher... and he has ony been to 2 of my games. Thats not something a good dad does.

SO... tell him you love him! and Be thankful you have a daddy to love you and cherish you!!

All the men that are fathers.... and good fathers... thank you! yall are making the lives of your children memorable!!

& IF YOU HAVENT TALKED TO YOUR CHILD LATELY... CHANGE IT!! YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY ARE GOING THRU, AND IT MIGHT CHANGE THEIR DAY.... EVEN LIFE!!

lOVE YALL!!!! Have a great weekend...

Brookie

cubsoxbull · 06-19-2010, 12:02 PM

Brooke,

I was fortunate when I played sports, my parents always tried to make the games. And I had some teammates who were discouraged because his parents didn't make the games. Maybe sometimes they can't make the games, but it doesn't mean there not thinking of you.

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

Brooke Cumsalot · 06-19-2010, 12:10 PM

my mom always made them .. and i was thankful for that. he was busy with work... and with my two half sisters. im thankful either way.. just sucks he didnt try hard enough.... Keep being a good father!!!

brooke

Fiero · 06-19-2010, 12:29 PM

Brooke...very good post IMHO. My daughters are really great and talented young women and there's not a big list of things that I think I do well but being a good Dad is one of them. I always try to make their events but more than that let them know I'm proud of them and love them whether I'm there or not. It takes a lot of balancing to do the role well and some days it goes better then others but I try. Thanks for reminding me through your experience how important my active support may be to them. Okay, I'm not looking for a merit badge...it just made me think about whether I'm doing all I can for them.

Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads out there.

hotlips_houlihan · 06-19-2010, 12:37 PM

nice post brooke.

Guest071613-2 · 06-19-2010, 12:56 PM

Brookie....

So sorry to hear you've had problems with your Father. Hopefully as you get older you can see him for what he is: an imperfect person with issues. It does not mean he doesn't love you, but maybe he just doesn't know how. It still sucks, but he is what he is.

I can relate. My Father was not a good Dad as I was growing up. He is the guy who was driving me to and from the strip clubs I worked at starting at the age of 17. He's the guy who was letting boys spend the night with me at 15. He'd help us make Jell-o shots when I had pool parties at the house! Everyone thought I had the cool Dad, but I wanted him to give a shit about what I was doing to myself. It's only been in the last ten years that I have become very close with him and forgiven him for all the crap he did (or didn't do) during my more formative years.

I've learned to look at my parent's lives objectively and see them for who and what they really are, and I try to understand why they behaved the way they did (and still do, at times) and why they made the decisions they made. They are the only parents I have so I just make do with what I was given, and try to forgive them as much as I can, so that the bitterness doesn't take me over. It's easier said than done, but it makes me feel better.

If you are able to talk with your Dad and tell him exactly how you feel, I advise that you do it. If you can't do it face to face, write it down. That's the way I went about it (I write better than I can speak, LOL) and I am so glad that I did. It opened up a line of communication that didn't exist before...and even though I don't feel like I am the one who should have reached out to him, the reward of finally having the close and loving relationship I always wished I had with him, has been the payoff. And even if it is not received well, at least you will know that you did the best you could to mend the relationship, and anything beyond that is out of your control.

Great post, and my heart goes out to you!! I know how it feels!!

OXOXOXO ~Dannie

T-Can · 06-19-2010, 12:59 PM

It's a day early but WTH!

When your dad is a raging alcoholic who regularly beat your mom in front of you then Father's day would not be your favorite day. (Yes that is true story of my real father)

But when your mom has the strength to get out of the realtionship (divorce) knowing that she will be dirt poor raising 4 kids on her own then it opens up numerous scenarios.

She met my stepdad when I was still young. He taught us kids how to appreciate the small things in life as well as the importance of working. Although I still grew up in lower middle class/high lower class society, he taught me the valuable lessons of how to be the man I am now even though he was a bit protective and a prick at times.

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers and step fathers out there! (I'm not one)

holi2010 · 06-19-2010, 12:59 PM

You are a great daughter for all father's, I envy the honor you have.

guest010712 · 06-19-2010, 01:03 PM

I'm a proud papa of two ninja kitties! So, Happy ninja kitties Father's Day to me dammit!

Int3rested · 06-19-2010, 01:04 PM

Well written, Dannie, forgiveness and compassion, understanding objectively, challenging concepts with solid rewards...HFD.

Fiero · 06-19-2010, 01:26 PM

There are a few days when I come here and see some of the drama and wonder if it's worth it and then there are more days when I see posts like the ones here that show people willing to share really difficult things in a very eloquent way to help others along the journey...there are some really great people here.

Many of us have had parental issues to deal with...and what Dannie offered is the best path that I know to get past it. If someone had told me that 20 years ago I could have saved a LOT on counseling.

MaxiMilyen · 06-19-2010, 02:19 PM

While some of us didn't have the best father's in the world, it doesn't negate the fact that there are so many devoted and loving fathers out there. These are the gents I'd like to wish a Happy Father's Day to.

Guest050911 · 06-19-2010, 02:33 PM

Though I had my own issues with my father, we were able to resolve them before he passed. Do not waste time, as it is precious and you do not know how long either of you have....

If you have done all you can, then rest with that knowledge...

PPE

Jules Jaguar · 06-19-2010, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PurplePussyEater

Though I had my own issues with my father, we were able to resolve them before he passed. Do not waste time, as it is precious and you do not know how long either of you have....

If you have done all you can, then rest with that knowledge...

PPE

well said ppe

great post brooke

guest070311-3 · 06-19-2010, 03:47 PM

Good post, Brooke. It does mean something to have your parents at your games. I guess I have been fortunate in that respect.

I remember one football game I blew-out my knee and was being carted off the field. My Dad was on the field before I even made it to the sideline. I don't know how he got over the fence and all the way to the field so quickly without being stopped, but I do remember everyone looking at him and wondering the same thing. I was a little embarrassed at the time, but another teammmate commented that he wished his Father cared that much. I found out later that particular teammate's parents never came to any of our games. It then dawned on me how lucky I was that my Dad was always there to support me.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.