Is having a relationship hard as a provider?

[Beau Derierre]

So I have been alone for quite some time now. With my 20 yr old off at college and the other living in another city. I have become bored. I would like to find someone to spend quality time with. Not just someone that can pick up the tab. I make a wonderful income, I am truly grateful for. Do any other providers have this problem? I have tried some local dating sites. I guess what stops me is..How do I tell him I am a provider? I am a very independent woman, with the mind set I can take care of me. It kind of scares men off I am stuck in a pattern of doing everything alone. I would just like to find someone to share some laughs with. I like to be very honest with people . So would it be like setting myself up for failure not disclosing I am a provider? Would appreciate some input.

[klutz]

Lying about your profession would be my first suggestion.

[Don T. Lukbak]

Probably the only way a hooker could have a boyfriend who really, honestly doesn't mind what she does would be to hire the little fucker.

[jbravo_123]

It's a tough one. Given your line of work, it would be difficult to find someone who isn't a creepster and can actually accept it.

Also, you'd very likely have to at least initially lie about what you do and of course starting a relationship with a lie is always a great thing...

Honestly, while people always say it's a trap, dating a hobbyist probably isn't going to be the worst idea simply because they would be familiar with the culture and at least have a higher chance of accepting what you do.

Now once you retire, of course that will open up many more options for you.

[Trey]

Not many if any will go for you being a hooker. Only a pimp or a loser would stand for it.

[Russ38]

Originally Posted by jbravo_123

Honestly, while people always say it's a trap, dating a hobbyist probably isn't going to be the worst idea simply because they would be familiar with the culture and at least have a higher chance of accepting what you do.

....but on the flip side, if she were to date a hobbyist or anyone else for all it matters....would she expect them to stay monogamous while she's still a provider?

[Guest032117]

Tell them you work for a private placement service. Executive assistants perhaps for traveling businesspersons???

[proudoftexas]

This isn't meant as a criticism, but only as a personal opinion, but it doesn't feel like a good idea to post this on this board.

I would go to quora, reddit, or another heavily trafficked site if you're looking for feedback. Or at least post under a new, throwaway handle. This simply isn't anonymous enough. It seems too easy to create misunderstandings given your profession. JMO.

[proudoftexas]

Originally Posted by YummyMarie

Tell them you work for a private placement service. Executive assistants perhaps for traveling businesspersons???

The problem --- as it always is in these kinds of situations --- is if it gets serious, the information is going to come out. I'm not a big fan of pulling out a parade of skeletons on a first date, but some of them should be introduced fairly quickly. Kids. Crazy Exes.

The fact a person makes their money as a provider is a pretty big thing to hide. It's fine if the relationship stays casual, but the other person is going to feel betrayed on a fundamental level if it comes out after they've developed feelings.

Unless they're into having some type of open relationship, which admittedly, some people are.

[Beau Derierre]

Originally Posted by proudoftexas

The problem --- as it always is in these kinds of situations --- is if it gets serious, the information is going to come out. I'm not a big fan of pulling out a parade of skeletons on a first date, but some of them should be introduced fairly quickly. Kids. Crazy Exes.

The fact a person makes their money as a provider is a pretty big thing to hide. It's fine if the relationship stays casual, but the other person is going to feel betrayed on a fundamental level if it comes out after they've developed feelings.

Unless they're into having some type of open relationship, which admittedly, some people are.

I'm not looking to get married. Just companionship (not paid) Why would how I make my revenue concern him? I am not looking to support him or he support me. I just don't want someone to feel betrayed, that I didn't announce my profession from the start. I am just looking for someone to enjoy the outdoors and certain social activities etc. Nothing too serious. I own my own home he should own his I have a life he should as well. I guess your right Don! I need to hire me a little fucker to go fishing. Now doesn't that just sound as pathetic as I typed it! Lol

[Guest032117]

I agree. I personally am the type to tell someone pretty quickly upfront, but if you feel the need to cover up or buy some time, my suggestion was as a first story to gradually reveal the truth.

[ZedX79]

The problem I see is right off the bat you are lying to them if you tell them you do something else besides suck dick for a living. It would be nice to find someone who understands and accepts what you do for a living, but at the same time....why would you want to share the person you are in a relationship with? Swinging is different than hooking in my eyes.

[Eccie Addict]

Originally Posted by SensualSpecialist

I'm not looking to get married. Just companionship (not paid) Why would how I make my revenue concern him? I am not looking to support him or he support me. I just don't want someone to feel betrayed, that I didn't announce my profession from the start. I am just looking for someone to enjoy the outdoors and certain social activities etc. Nothing too serious. I own my own home he should own his I have a life he should as well. I guess your right Don! I need to hire me a little fucker to go fishing. Now doesn't that just sound as pathetic as I typed it! Lol

There are plenty of fishing guides you can hire and they don't car what you do for a living lol.

[Fast Gunn]

I think the fundamental problem here is that you are starting off by condemning yourself for your profession.

All humans have flaws, but it does not profit you by magnifying them or advertising them.

I would not advise you to begin a relationship based on dishonesty as that is a recipe for delayed, but certain disaster.

. . . Work on your self esteem and think about all the good qualities you have to offer and stop focusing on how society made judge you. Good luck!

[Beau Derierre]

Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

There are plenty of fishing guides you can hire and they don't car what you do for a living lol.

So what/who do you suggest I hire for a camp fire? to enjoy the stars and red wine?